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Confidence / Becoming More Assertive / Lesson 20
LESSON 20 · BECOMING MORE ASSERTIVE

Follow Up on a Request

Thirty-two easy ways to follow up on a request, so your ask does not get lost and you keep your calm.

Follow-up is not nagging. It is good manners and good sense.

40 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan
Start with tip 1
Jump to the 7-day plan

40 tips that really help

These ideas come from Crucial Conversations (Kerry Patterson and others), Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg), Playing Big (Tara Mohr), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

Photo for the tip: Follow up on a request
TIP 1

Follow up on a request

People forget, get busy or miss messages. A polite follow-up is not nagging; it keeps your request alive. Most replies come after the second reminder, according to common email studies.

TRY THIS
Set a reminder to follow up on one open request.
Photo for the tip: Wait a fair time
TIP 2

Wait a fair time

Two to three working days for email.

TRY THIS
Set it.
Photo for the tip: Send a friendly nudge
TIP 3

Send a friendly nudge

“Just checking in on…”

TRY THIS
Draft.
Photo for the tip: Restate the request
TIP 4

Restate the request

One line.

TRY THIS
Include it.
Photo for the tip: Make it easy
TIP 5

Make it easy

Attach or link.

TRY THIS
Add.
Photo for the tip: Add a deadline
TIP 6

Add a deadline

“By Friday if possible.”

TRY THIS
Add.
Photo for the tip: Thank in advance
TIP 7

Thank in advance

“Thanks for looking.”

TRY THIS
Add.
Photo for the tip: Offer help
TIP 8

Offer help

“Happy to talk.”

TRY THIS
Add.
Photo for the tip: Try another channel
TIP 9

Try another channel

Call or message.

TRY THIS
Switch.
Photo for the tip: Ask a colleague
TIP 10

Ask a colleague

Check who else knows.

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Follow up in person
TIP 11

Follow up in person

If seen.

TRY THIS
Mention.
Photo for the tip: Follow up again
TIP 12

Follow up again

After a week.

TRY THIS
Remind.
Photo for the tip: Escalate gently
TIP 13

Escalate gently

To the manager, politely.

TRY THIS
Plan.
Photo for the tip: Document
TIP 14

Document

Keep a record.

TRY THIS
Save.
Photo for the tip: Stay calm
TIP 15

Stay calm

No sarcasm.

TRY THIS
Breathe.
Photo for the tip: Avoid blame
TIP 16

Avoid blame

Assume busy.

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Be kind.
Photo for the tip: Avoid flooding
TIP 17

Avoid flooding

Space reminders.

TRY THIS
Plan.
Photo for the tip: Avoid vague words
TIP 18

Avoid vague words

Be clear.

TRY THIS
Edit.
Photo for the tip: Close the loop
TIP 19

Close the loop

Thank when done.

TRY THIS
Send.
Photo for the tip: Scene: unanswered email
TIP 20

Scene: unanswered email

Follow-up after 3 days.

TRY THIS
Send.
Photo for the tip: Scene: unpaid invoice
TIP 21

Scene: unpaid invoice

Polite reminder, then firmer.

TRY THIS
Send.
Photo for the tip: Scene: a friend who owes you
TIP 22

Scene: a friend who owes you

Gentle reminder.

TRY THIS
Text.
Photo for the tip: Scene: landlord repair
TIP 23

Scene: landlord repair

Written reminder with dates.

TRY THIS
Email.
Photo for the tip: Scene: customer service
TIP 24

Scene: customer service

Reference number and date.

TRY THIS
Call.
Photo for the tip: Scene: a job application
TIP 25

Scene: a job application

One note after a week.

TRY THIS
Send.
Photo for the tip: Scene: a quote request
TIP 26

Scene: a quote request

Ask for the status.

TRY THIS
Email.
Photo for the tip: Scene: school or doctor
TIP 27

Scene: school or doctor

Call with details.

TRY THIS
Phone.
Photo for the tip: Scene: a promised favour
TIP 28

Scene: a promised favour

“Any news on…”

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Scene: a partner's promise
TIP 29

Scene: a partner's promise

“Can we pick a day for it?”

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Subject lines help
TIP 30

Subject lines help

Clear and short.

TRY THIS
Rewrite.
Photo for the tip: Reply-all caution
TIP 31

Reply-all caution

Think twice.

TRY THIS
Check.
Photo for the tip: Use a tracker
TIP 32

Use a tracker

List of open requests.

TRY THIS
Create.
Photo for the tip: Use calendar reminders
TIP 33

Use calendar reminders

Don’t rely on memory.

TRY THIS
Add.
Photo for the tip: Use templates
TIP 34

Use templates

Save polite follow-ups.

TRY THIS
Write one.
Photo for the tip: Be consistent
TIP 35

Be consistent

Do it each time.

TRY THIS
Habit.
Photo for the tip: Be patient
TIP 36

Be patient

Reply may take time.

TRY THIS
Wait.
Photo for the tip: Be kind
TIP 37

Be kind

Everyone is busy.

TRY THIS
Relax.
Photo for the tip: Seek help
TIP 38

Seek help

Admin support.

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Celebrate
TIP 39

Celebrate

You followed up.

TRY THIS
Mark it.
Photo for the tip: Close with persistence
TIP 40

Close with persistence

Say, “Polite persistence works.”

TRY THIS
Write it.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.

REMIND

“I wanted to follow up on my request.”

ASK

“Have you had a chance to look at it?”

OFFER

“I can send the details again.”

TIME

“Could you let me know by Friday?”

THANK

“Thank you for your help.”

CLOSE

“I appreciate your time.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Note the date
DAY 2
Wait a fair time
DAY 3
Send a friendly note
DAY 4
Be short
DAY 5
Offer help
DAY 6
Follow up again
DAY 7
Thank them

Further reading

  • Crucial Conversations (Kerry Patterson and others)
  • Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg)
  • Playing Big (Tara Mohr)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

← All Becoming More Assertive lessons
Next lesson: Accept a No Gracefully →

More lessons in “Becoming More Assertive”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

← Previous: Ask for Space or TimeNext: Accept a No Gracefully →

  1. Passive, Aggressive or Assertive?
  2. Why You Struggle to Speak Up
  3. Assertive Does Not Mean Rude
  4. Your Rights in Any Relationship
  5. Where Your Pattern Began
  6. Spot Your Own Passive Habits
  7. The Respect Equation
  8. The Power of a Calm No
  9. Five Kind Ways to Say No
  10. Say No Without Over-Explaining
  11. Buy Time Before You Answer
  12. Say No to Family Gently
  13. Say No at Work Smartly
  14. Handle Guilt After Saying No
  15. Make a Clear Request in One Sentence
  16. Ask for Help Without Shame
  17. Ask for a Raise or Promotion
  18. Ask for a Change in Behaviour
  19. Ask for Space or Time
  20. Follow Up on a Request
  21. Accept a No Gracefully
  22. What Healthy Boundaries Sound Like
  23. The Broken-Record Technique
  24. Boundaries With Pushy People
  25. Boundaries With Friends and Family
  26. Boundaries Online
  27. When Someone Ignores Your Boundary
  28. Boundaries With Yourself
  29. The "I Feel, I Need" Sentence
  30. Respond to Criticism Calmly
  31. Give Honest Feedback Kindly
  32. Disagree Without a Fight
  33. Handle an Interrupter
  34. Stay Calm When Someone Gets Angry
  35. Start With Low-Risk Practice
  36. Rehearse With a Friend
  37. Use a Script for Tough Talks
  38. Review Each Conversation Kindly
  39. Celebrate Each Assertive Win
  40. Your Assertiveness Plan
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