Your Rights in Any Relationship
Thirty-two easy ways to know your rights in any relationship, so you can respect yourself and others.
You have rights. So does everyone else.
40 tips that really help
These ideas come from Crucial Conversations (Kerry Patterson and others), Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg), Playing Big (Tara Mohr), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Your rights in any relationship
You have the right to say no, to ask, to change your mind, to make mistakes, to express feelings, to set limits and to be treated with respect. Assertiveness trainers such as Manuel Smith popularised lists like this, and they are widely used in therapy and workshops.
Read the list and underline the right you forget most.
The right to say no
You can decline without a long excuse.
Say “No, thank you”.
The right to ask
Asking is allowed; the other can still say no.
Make a small ask.
The right to change your mind
New information or feelings can change decisions.
Allow yourself.
The right to make mistakes
You’re human.
Say “I made a mistake”.
The right to feelings
Anger, sadness, joy are valid.
Name one.
The right to privacy
You needn’t share everything.
Say “I’d rather not say”.
The right to your own opinion
Others may disagree.
Share it.
The right to be treated with respect
Not insulted or controlled.
Set a standard.
The right to ask for clarity
Say “I don’t understand”.
Ask.
The right to take time
Say “I’ll think and reply”.
Use it.
The right to rest
You can pause.
Plan rest.
The right to set limits
Time, energy, money.
Name one.
The right to ask for help
No shame.
Ask.
The right to be imperfect
Standards can be flexible.
Relax.
The right to disagree
Politely.
Say “I see it differently”.
The right to leave
Walk away from disrespect.
Plan an exit.
The right to not explain
No is a full sentence.
Practise.
The right to say "I don't know"
Honest and fine.
Say it.
The right to be happy
Pursue your wellbeing.
Choose one joy.
Rights come with responsibilities
Others have the same rights.
Respect them.
Scene: a friend wants a loan
Right to decline.
Say a kind no.
Scene: a boss emails at midnight
Right to limits.
Set reply hours.
Scene: a relative guilt-trips
Right to choose.
Stay calm.
Scene: a partner checks your phone
Right to privacy.
Talk it through.
Scene: a colleague mocks you
Right to respect.
Address it.
Scene: a salesperson pushes
Right to leave.
Say “No thanks”.
Scene: a teacher or doctor rushed
Right to ask questions.
Ask.
Scene: a neighbour intrudes
Right to boundaries.
Say it kindly.
Write your own bill of rights
Ten sentences starting “I have the right to…”.
Write them.
Read them daily
Keep them visible.
Pin them.
Share them
With someone close.
Tell a friend.
Teach children
Rights and respect.
Talk.
Notice violations
When your rights are crossed, feel it.
Name it.
Respond calmly
Assert politely.
Plan words.
Seek support
If rights are repeatedly ignored, get help.
Reach out.
Know the law
Workplace and legal rights exist.
Check your region.
Be patient
Change is gradual.
Keep going.
Celebrate
Each time you honour a right.
Mark it.
Close with worth
Say, “I have rights and so do you.”
Write it.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.
“I have the right to say no.”
“I have the right to my own opinion.”
“I have the right to ask for help.”
“You have the same rights.”
“Thank you for respecting that.”
“We both matter.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Learn your rights
Say them aloud
Respect others’ rights
Use them kindly
Review often
Share them
Practise one
Further reading
- Crucial Conversations (Kerry Patterson and others)
- Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg)
- Playing Big (Tara Mohr)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “Becoming More Assertive”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Assertive Does Not Mean RudeNext: Where Your Pattern Began →
- Passive, Aggressive or Assertive?
- Why You Struggle to Speak Up
- Assertive Does Not Mean Rude
- Your Rights in Any Relationship
- Where Your Pattern Began
- Spot Your Own Passive Habits
- The Respect Equation
- The Power of a Calm No
- Five Kind Ways to Say No
- Say No Without Over-Explaining
- Buy Time Before You Answer
- Say No to Family Gently
- Say No at Work Smartly
- Handle Guilt After Saying No
- Make a Clear Request in One Sentence
- Ask for Help Without Shame
- Ask for a Raise or Promotion
- Ask for a Change in Behaviour
- Ask for Space or Time
- Follow Up on a Request
- Accept a No Gracefully
- What Healthy Boundaries Sound Like
- The Broken-Record Technique
- Boundaries With Pushy People
- Boundaries With Friends and Family
- Boundaries Online
- When Someone Ignores Your Boundary
- Boundaries With Yourself
- The "I Feel, I Need" Sentence
- Respond to Criticism Calmly
- Give Honest Feedback Kindly
- Disagree Without a Fight
- Handle an Interrupter
- Stay Calm When Someone Gets Angry
- Start With Low-Risk Practice
- Rehearse With a Friend
- Use a Script for Tough Talks
- Review Each Conversation Kindly
- Celebrate Each Assertive Win
- Your Assertiveness Plan
