Boundaries Online
Thirty-two easy ways to set boundaries online, so your time, privacy and peace are protected.
You do not owe instant replies. Your screen is yours.
40 tips that really help
These ideas come from Crucial Conversations (Kerry Patterson and others), Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg), Playing Big (Tara Mohr), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Boundaries online
Phones and apps make you reachable all day. Without limits, messages, news and other people’s moods flow into your life constantly. Online boundaries protect your attention, privacy and peace, and are easier to set than most people expect.
Turn off notifications for one app today.
Set reply hours
“I answer messages 9 to 6.”
Tell people.
Use do-not-disturb
Schedule it nightly.
Set it.
Turn off read receipts
Reduce pressure.
Switch off.
Mute group chats
Check on your schedule.
Mute one.
Unfollow and mute
Curate your feed.
Mute five.
Block when needed
Harassment, spam.
Block.
Protect privacy
Review settings.
Check them.
Think before posting
Would I say this aloud?
Pause.
Don't share others' info
Ask permission.
Ask.
Don't overshare
Choose what’s public.
Edit.
Say no to requests
Friend requests, favours.
Decline politely.
Say no to debates
Not every argument deserves you.
Scroll on.
Say no to doomscrolling
Set time limits.
Set it.
Say no to comparison
Remember highlights.
Log off.
Say no to late replies
“I’ll answer tomorrow.”
Say it.
Say no to work messages at night
Set work profile off.
Switch off.
Say no to phone at meals
Phones away.
Place elsewhere.
Scene: a friend texts constantly
“I can’t reply quickly during work.”
Say it.
Scene: a boss emails at midnight
“I’ll reply in the morning.”
Say it.
Scene: a relative tags you
“Please ask before tagging.”
Say it.
Scene: a stranger DMs
Ignore or block.
Block.
Scene: an ex follows you
Mute or block.
Choose.
Scene: a rude comment
Delete and ignore.
Don’t engage.
Scene: a group chat argument
“I’m stepping out.”
Leave.
Scene: a viral outrage
Don’t pile on.
Log off.
Scene: a scam message
Don’t click.
Delete.
Scene: a request for money
Verify by phone.
Call.
Scene: a photo you dislike
“Please remove it.”
Ask.
Scene: a shared location
Share only when you choose.
Check settings.
Scene: a story viewer list
Limit audience.
Use close friends.
Scene: kids online
Set rules together.
Talk.
Scene: dating apps
Move slowly; protect info.
Be careful.
Scene: work chats
Keep personal separate.
Separate.
Create tech-free zones
Bedroom, table.
Choose.
Create tech-free times
Morning, evening.
Choose.
Use a charging spot
Out of the bedroom.
Move it.
Review monthly
Adjust settings.
Schedule.
Seek help
If harassed, contact authorities or support services.
Reach out.
Close with peace
Say, “My attention is mine.”
Write it.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.
“I reply to messages in the evening.”
“I do not share that online.”
“I will mute this chat for now.”
“I will not join that group.”
“Thank you for understanding.”
“I am taking a break from my phone.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Turn off alerts
Set reply times
Mute or leave chats
Check privacy settings
Say no to requests
Block when needed
Take breaks
Further reading
- Crucial Conversations (Kerry Patterson and others)
- Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg)
- Playing Big (Tara Mohr)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
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Start freeThese lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.
More lessons in “Becoming More Assertive”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Boundaries With Friends and FamilyNext: When Someone Ignores Your Boundary →
- Passive, Aggressive or Assertive?
- Why You Struggle to Speak Up
- Assertive Does Not Mean Rude
- Your Rights in Any Relationship
- Where Your Pattern Began
- Spot Your Own Passive Habits
- The Respect Equation
- The Power of a Calm No
- Five Kind Ways to Say No
- Say No Without Over-Explaining
- Buy Time Before You Answer
- Say No to Family Gently
- Say No at Work Smartly
- Handle Guilt After Saying No
- Make a Clear Request in One Sentence
- Ask for Help Without Shame
- Ask for a Raise or Promotion
- Ask for a Change in Behaviour
- Ask for Space or Time
- Follow Up on a Request
- Accept a No Gracefully
- What Healthy Boundaries Sound Like
- The Broken-Record Technique
- Boundaries With Pushy People
- Boundaries With Friends and Family
- Boundaries Online
- When Someone Ignores Your Boundary
- Boundaries With Yourself
- The "I Feel, I Need" Sentence
- Respond to Criticism Calmly
- Give Honest Feedback Kindly
- Disagree Without a Fight
- Handle an Interrupter
- Stay Calm When Someone Gets Angry
- Start With Low-Risk Practice
- Rehearse With a Friend
- Use a Script for Tough Talks
- Review Each Conversation Kindly
- Celebrate Each Assertive Win
- Your Assertiveness Plan
