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Confidence / Becoming More Assertive / Lesson 39
LESSON 39 · BECOMING MORE ASSERTIVE

Celebrate Each Assertive Win

Thirty-two easy ways to celebrate each assertive win, because joy turns small steps into lasting habits.

Celebrate small wins. They build big change.

40 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan
Start with tip 1
Jump to the 7-day plan

40 tips that really help

These ideas come from Crucial Conversations (Kerry Patterson and others), Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg), Playing Big (Tara Mohr), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

Photo for the tip: Celebrate each assertive win
TIP 1

Celebrate each assertive win

Celebrating small wins wires in new habits. Each time you speak up clearly, say no kindly or ask for what you need, you are teaching your brain that it is safe and worth it. Progress feels real when you mark it.

TRY THIS
Write down one assertive win from this week, however small.
Photo for the tip: Define a win
TIP 2

Define a win

Any clear, kind, honest act.

TRY THIS
List yours.
Photo for the tip: Notice small wins
TIP 3

Notice small wins

Asking, declining, disagreeing.

TRY THIS
Spot them.
Photo for the tip: Notice brave wins
TIP 4

Notice brave wins

The hard ones.

TRY THIS
Credit them.
Photo for the tip: Notice quiet wins
TIP 5

Notice quiet wins

Holding silence.

TRY THIS
Credit them.
Photo for the tip: Notice private wins
TIP 6

Notice private wins

Self-boundaries.

TRY THIS
Credit them.
Photo for the tip: Say it aloud
TIP 7

Say it aloud

“I did that.”

TRY THIS
Say it.
Photo for the tip: Tell a friend
TIP 8

Tell a friend

Share the win.

TRY THIS
Text.
Photo for the tip: Give yourself a treat
TIP 9

Give yourself a treat

Tea, music, walk.

TRY THIS
Choose.
Photo for the tip: Use a jar
TIP 10

Use a jar

Drop a note for each win.

TRY THIS
Start a jar.
Photo for the tip: Use a calendar
TIP 11

Use a calendar

Star the days.

TRY THIS
Mark.
Photo for the tip: Use a photo
TIP 12

Use a photo

Capture a moment.

TRY THIS
Snap.
Photo for the tip: Use a letter
TIP 13

Use a letter

Write to future you.

TRY THIS
Write.
Photo for the tip: Review monthly
TIP 14

Review monthly

Read your jar.

TRY THIS
Open it.
Photo for the tip: Review yearly
TIP 15

Review yearly

See your growth.

TRY THIS
Plan it.
Photo for the tip: Scene: you asked for help
TIP 16

Scene: you asked for help

Win.

TRY THIS
Mark it.
Photo for the tip: Scene: you said no
TIP 17

Scene: you said no

Win.

TRY THIS
Mark it.
Photo for the tip: Scene: you disagreed politely
TIP 18

Scene: you disagreed politely

Win.

TRY THIS
Mark it.
Photo for the tip: Scene: you set a boundary
TIP 19

Scene: you set a boundary

Win.

TRY THIS
Mark it.
Photo for the tip: Scene: you gave feedback
TIP 20

Scene: you gave feedback

Win.

TRY THIS
Mark it.
Photo for the tip: Scene: you took feedback
TIP 21

Scene: you took feedback

Win.

TRY THIS
Mark it.
Photo for the tip: Scene: you asked for a raise
TIP 22

Scene: you asked for a raise

Win, whatever the answer.

TRY THIS
Mark it.
Photo for the tip: Scene: you spoke in a meeting
TIP 23

Scene: you spoke in a meeting

Win.

TRY THIS
Mark it.
Photo for the tip: Scene: you took your turn
TIP 24

Scene: you took your turn

Win.

TRY THIS
Mark it.
Photo for the tip: Scene: you took a break
TIP 25

Scene: you took a break

Win.

TRY THIS
Mark it.
Photo for the tip: Scene: you stayed calm
TIP 26

Scene: you stayed calm

Win.

TRY THIS
Mark it.
Photo for the tip: Scene: you apologised well
TIP 27

Scene: you apologised well

Win.

TRY THIS
Mark it.
Photo for the tip: Scene: you accepted a no
TIP 28

Scene: you accepted a no

Win.

TRY THIS
Mark it.
Photo for the tip: Scene: you rested without guilt
TIP 29

Scene: you rested without guilt

Win.

TRY THIS
Mark it.
Photo for the tip: Don't wait for perfection
TIP 30

Don't wait for perfection

Good enough counts.

TRY THIS
Celebrate.
Photo for the tip: Don't dismiss wins
TIP 31

Don't dismiss wins

“It was nothing.”

TRY THIS
Say “It counts.”
Photo for the tip: Don't compare
TIP 32

Don't compare

Your path.

TRY THIS
Focus.
Photo for the tip: Share with others
TIP 33

Share with others

Inspire them.

TRY THIS
Tell.
Photo for the tip: Celebrate others
TIP 34

Celebrate others

Cheer a friend.

TRY THIS
Congratulate.
Photo for the tip: Link wins to values
TIP 35

Link wins to values

Why it matters.

TRY THIS
Write it.
Photo for the tip: Link wins to goals
TIP 36

Link wins to goals

Progress.

TRY THIS
Review.
Photo for the tip: Be patient
TIP 37

Be patient

More wins come.

TRY THIS
Keep going.
Photo for the tip: Seek help
TIP 38

Seek help

If wins feel impossible, ask for support.

TRY THIS
Reach out.
Photo for the tip: Be proud
TIP 39

Be proud

You deserve it.

TRY THIS
Smile.
Photo for the tip: Close with joy
TIP 40

Close with joy

Say, “Every win counts.”

TRY THIS
Write it.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.

NOTICE

“I spoke up today.”

PRAISE

“That took courage.”

SHARE

“I did something brave.”

REWARD

“I am treating myself.”

THANK

“Thanks for cheering me on.”

CLOSE

“I am proud of me.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Notice the win
DAY 2
Say well done
DAY 3
Tell a friend
DAY 4
Give a reward
DAY 5
Write it down
DAY 6
Look back
DAY 7
Aim higher

Further reading

  • Crucial Conversations (Kerry Patterson and others)
  • Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg)
  • Playing Big (Tara Mohr)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

← All Becoming More Assertive lessons
Next lesson: Your Assertiveness Plan →

More lessons in “Becoming More Assertive”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

← Previous: Review Each Conversation KindlyNext: Your Assertiveness Plan →

  1. Passive, Aggressive or Assertive?
  2. Why You Struggle to Speak Up
  3. Assertive Does Not Mean Rude
  4. Your Rights in Any Relationship
  5. Where Your Pattern Began
  6. Spot Your Own Passive Habits
  7. The Respect Equation
  8. The Power of a Calm No
  9. Five Kind Ways to Say No
  10. Say No Without Over-Explaining
  11. Buy Time Before You Answer
  12. Say No to Family Gently
  13. Say No at Work Smartly
  14. Handle Guilt After Saying No
  15. Make a Clear Request in One Sentence
  16. Ask for Help Without Shame
  17. Ask for a Raise or Promotion
  18. Ask for a Change in Behaviour
  19. Ask for Space or Time
  20. Follow Up on a Request
  21. Accept a No Gracefully
  22. What Healthy Boundaries Sound Like
  23. The Broken-Record Technique
  24. Boundaries With Pushy People
  25. Boundaries With Friends and Family
  26. Boundaries Online
  27. When Someone Ignores Your Boundary
  28. Boundaries With Yourself
  29. The "I Feel, I Need" Sentence
  30. Respond to Criticism Calmly
  31. Give Honest Feedback Kindly
  32. Disagree Without a Fight
  33. Handle an Interrupter
  34. Stay Calm When Someone Gets Angry
  35. Start With Low-Risk Practice
  36. Rehearse With a Friend
  37. Use a Script for Tough Talks
  38. Review Each Conversation Kindly
  39. Celebrate Each Assertive Win
  40. Your Assertiveness Plan
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