Rehearse With a Friend
Thirty-two easy ways to rehearse with a friend, so your words feel familiar before the real talk.
Practice makes it feel natural. A friend makes it safe.
40 tips that really help
These ideas come from Crucial Conversations (Kerry Patterson and others), Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg), Playing Big (Tara Mohr), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Rehearse with a friend
Practising out loud with someone you trust makes real moments easier. Rehearsal builds muscle memory for words and tone, and lets you try different versions safely. Role-play is a standard part of assertiveness training.
Ask one friend for ten minutes of practice this week.
Pick a trusted friend
Kind and honest.
Choose.
Explain the goal
“I’m practising assertiveness.”
Say it.
Choose a scenario
Real or typical.
Pick.
Set the scene
Where, who, mood.
Describe.
Assign roles
You and them.
Decide.
Start gently
Easy version first.
Begin.
Pause and review
How did it feel?
Talk.
Ask for feedback
Tone, words, body.
Ask.
Try a harder version
Add pushback.
Escalate.
See their view
Empathy.
Notice.
Record it
Audio or video.
Listen.
Notice your voice
Pace, volume.
Adjust.
Notice your body
Posture, hands.
Adjust.
Notice filler words
“Um”, “just”.
Reduce.
Keep a phrase bank
Save good lines.
Write.
Practise three times
Then move on.
Repeat.
Scene: asking for a raise
Friend plays the manager.
Rehearse.
Scene: saying no to a favour
Friend pushes.
Rehearse.
Scene: setting a boundary
Friend resists.
Rehearse.
Scene: giving feedback
Friend reacts.
Rehearse.
Scene: handling anger
Friend raises voice.
Rehearse.
Scene: apologising
Friend responds.
Rehearse.
Scene: interviewing
Friend asks tough questions.
Rehearse.
Scene: complaining
Friend plays service rep.
Rehearse.
Scene: ending a friendship
Friend plays the other.
Rehearse.
Scene: speaking in public
Friend as audience.
Rehearse.
No friend? Use a mirror
Talk to yourself.
Try.
No friend? Use a chair
Imagine them there.
Try.
No friend? Use an AI chat
Practise phrasing.
Try.
No friend? Use a coach
Professional help.
Book.
Keep it light
Humour helps.
Laugh.
Keep it safe
Respect limits.
Stop if upset.
Keep it short
Ten minutes.
Time it.
Thank your partner
Always.
Say it.
Offer to help them
Reciprocate.
Offer.
Use it in real life
Within days.
Plan it.
Be patient
Skills grow.
Keep going.
Celebrate
You practised.
Mark it.
Close with readiness
Say, “Practice makes calm.”
Write it.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.
“Could you help me practise?”
“You play my boss, and I will practise.”
“Let me say it again.”
“How did that sound?”
“Thank you for helping me.”
“I feel more ready now.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Pick a scene
Choose a friend
Set roles
Run the talk
Get feedback
Try again
Do the real talk
Further reading
- Crucial Conversations (Kerry Patterson and others)
- Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg)
- Playing Big (Tara Mohr)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
