Keep a Standing Weekly Call
Thirty-two easy ways to keep a standing weekly call, the simple anchor that holds a faraway or busy friendship steady.
Same time, same friend. The habit does the heavy lifting.
29 tips that really help
These ideas come from The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz), Friends (Robin Dunbar), Platonic (Marisa Franco), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Why a standing call
Fixed times remove the need to plan every time. Regular calls keep close friends close, even across distance.
Try it.
Pick a day and time
Choose a slot you can keep, like Sunday at seven. Consistency matters.
Choose.
Agree on length
Thirty to forty-five minutes works for many. Shorter is fine.
Set it.
Set reminders
Add repeating events to both calendars. Cue the habit.
Set them.
Prepare a few topics
Keep a note of things to share during the week. Easy flow.
Note things.
Start with a warm greeting
Say, it is so good to hear you. Warm starts matter.
Greet.
Share highs and lows
Tell the best and hardest parts of your week. It deepens talk.
Share.
Ask about their week
Ask specific questions about things they mentioned before. Care shows.
Ask.
Be fully present
Put phones away and listen. Presence is the gift.
Focus.
Walk while you talk
Moving makes calls feel lighter. Try it.
Walk.
End warmly
Say, same time next week! Closing with the next date helps.
Close well.
Be flexible when needed
Skipping a week is fine; reschedule kindly. Do not guilt.
Be kind.
Script: proposing
Shall we have a call every Sunday evening? Say it brightly.
Use it.
Script: greeting
It is so good to hear your voice! Say it warmly.
Use it.
Script: asking
What was the best part of your week? Say it with interest.
Use it.
Script: rescheduling
Can we move this week’s call to Monday? Say it kindly.
Use it.
Script: closing
Same time next week, I look forward to it. Say it sincerely.
Use it.
Mistake: cancelling too often
Reliability builds trust, so keep your slot.
Be reliable.
Mistake: making calls too long
Long calls can tire, so keep a comfortable length.
Set a limit.
Mistake: only discussing problems
Mix joy with worries, so keep balance.
Share good news.
Mistake: forgetting time zones
Late calls tire people, so find a fair time.
Check zones.
Troubleshoot: when schedules change
Review the time every few months and adjust. Flexibility keeps the habit.
Adjust.
Troubleshoot: when you run out of things to say
Share photos, play a game or read something together. Quiet is fine.
Try an activity.
Troubleshoot: when one of you is always late
Talk kindly and set a buffer. Respect time.
Talk.
Troubleshoot: when calls feel like a chore
Change the format: walk, cook, play a game. Refresh.
Refresh.
Troubleshoot: when the connection is poor
Switch to audio or call later. Do not stress.
Adapt.
Drill: propose a standing call
Propose a weekly or fortnightly call to one friend. Pick a time.
Propose.
Drill: set a repeating alert
Set a repeating alert now for your call. Keep it.
Set it.
Drill: prepare three topics
Before your next call write three things to share. Use them.
Write.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.
“Shall we have a call every Sunday?”
“Seven in the evening works for me.”
“It is so good to hear you.”
“Let me tell you my week.”
“What was the best part of your week?”
“Same time next week!”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Pick a day and time
Agree on length
Set a reminder
Prepare a few topics
Be present
End warmly
Keep it up
Further reading
- The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz)
- Friends (Robin Dunbar)
- Platonic (Marisa Franco)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “How to Maintain Friendships”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Send a Voice Note on Your WalkNext: The Birthday Habit →
- Why Good Friendships Fade Without a Fight
- Time, Distance and Busy Seasons
- Life Stages and Friend Drift
- The Silence Spiral
- Why It Is Never Too Late to Reconnect
- Friendship Needs Maintenance Like Anything Else
- What Long Friendships Have in Common
- The Five-Minute Check-In
- Share Something That Made You Think of Them
- React to Their Posts Meaningfully
- Send a Voice Note on Your Walk
- Keep a Standing Weekly Call
- The Birthday Habit
- Gratitude Messages for No Reason
- The Annual Trip or Reunion
- Monthly Dinner or Game Night
- Holiday Traditions With Friends
- Book Clubs and Shared Projects
- Walk-and-Talk Dates
- Create a Friend Group Chat Worth Keeping
- Celebrate Milestones Together
- Make Time Zones Work
- Video Calls With Purpose
- Watch, Play or Cook Together Online
- Send Letters, Cards and Surprises
- Plan Visits Well in Advance
- Make Every Reunion Count
- Keep the Daily Life Connection
- Reach Out After a Long Silence
- Apologise Sincerely and Simply
- Forgive Without Forgetting Yourself
- Resolve a Misunderstanding
- Rebuild After a Disagreement
- Make Peace With Friends Who Have Changed
- Nurture a Circle, Not Just a Few People
- Make New Friends at Every Age
- Be a Friend to Older and Younger People
- Leave Room for Change
- Let Go Kindly When You Must
- Your Lifelong Friendship Plan
