Make Every Reunion Count
Thirty-two easy ways to make every reunion count, so the time you have together is rich, relaxed and remembered.
Time together is precious. Use it well.
29 tips that really help
These ideas come from The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz), Friends (Robin Dunbar), Platonic (Marisa Franco), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Reunions are rare treasures
When you meet after time apart, every hour matters. A little intention makes it unforgettable.
Plan well.
Arrive with warmth
A big hug, a smile and a warm word set the tone. First minutes matter.
Greet warmly.
Put phones away
Presence is the gift. Share the time, not screens.
Be present.
Share stories
Catch up on news, big and small. Listen with interest.
Share.
Plan a mix of activities
Some active, some relaxed. Variety keeps energy.
Mix it.
Do something new together
Try a new place or activity. New memories build bonds.
Try.
Leave free time
Unplanned moments are precious. Allow slow mornings and long talks.
Allow space.
Cook or eat together
Shared meals are classic. Enjoy simple food.
Eat together.
Talk about deeper things
Use quiet moments for heartfelt talk. Real depth is a reunion gift.
Go deeper.
Take photos
Capture memories, with permission. Make an album.
Snap.
Express gratitude
Say, I am so glad we are together. Words matter.
Say it.
Plan the next meet
Before you part, pick the next date. Hope helps goodbyes.
Plan.
Script: greeting
It is so good to see you! Say it warmly.
Use it.
Script: planning
What shall we do first, something relaxed or something fun? Say it brightly.
Use it.
Script: sharing
Tell me everything, I want to hear it all. Say it with interest.
Use it.
Script: gratitude
I am so glad we are together. Say it sincerely.
Use it.
Script: closing
Until next time, I love you. Say it gently.
Use it.
Mistake: spending the time on screens
Presence is the point, so put them away.
Look up.
Mistake: bringing up old conflicts
Save heavy talk for a calm moment, so enjoy now.
Be kind.
Mistake: expecting perfection
Real life is messy, so enjoy it.
Relax.
Mistake: avoiding hard talk completely
If something needs saying, choose a calm moment. Balance.
Be wise.
Troubleshoot: when it feels awkward at first
Warm up with a walk or a meal. Awkwardness fades.
Be patient.
Troubleshoot: when you are both tired
Plan a quiet first day. Rest first.
Rest.
Troubleshoot: when plans go wrong
Laugh, adapt and make a story. Mishaps become memories.
Laugh.
Troubleshoot: when goodbyes are sad
Feel it, plan the next visit and send a message after. Hope helps.
Plan next.
Troubleshoot: when your styles clash
Talk kindly and compromise. Each of you leads sometimes.
Compromise.
Drill: plan a reunion list
Write three things you want to do and three things you want to say. Share.
Write.
Drill: choose a ritual
Pick a ritual for each reunion, like a special breakfast. Start it.
Choose.
Drill: write a goodbye note
Write a warm note to leave behind or send after. Do it.
Write.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.
“It is so good to see you!”
“What shall we do first?”
“Tell me everything.”
“Shall we have a quiet evening?”
“Thank you for coming.”
“Until next time.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Arrive with warmth
Be present
Mix fun and quiet
Share stories
Do something new
Take photos
Say a good goodbye
Further reading
- The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz)
- Friends (Robin Dunbar)
- Platonic (Marisa Franco)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “How to Maintain Friendships”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Plan Visits Well in AdvanceNext: Keep the Daily Life Connection →
- Why Good Friendships Fade Without a Fight
- Time, Distance and Busy Seasons
- Life Stages and Friend Drift
- The Silence Spiral
- Why It Is Never Too Late to Reconnect
- Friendship Needs Maintenance Like Anything Else
- What Long Friendships Have in Common
- The Five-Minute Check-In
- Share Something That Made You Think of Them
- React to Their Posts Meaningfully
- Send a Voice Note on Your Walk
- Keep a Standing Weekly Call
- The Birthday Habit
- Gratitude Messages for No Reason
- The Annual Trip or Reunion
- Monthly Dinner or Game Night
- Holiday Traditions With Friends
- Book Clubs and Shared Projects
- Walk-and-Talk Dates
- Create a Friend Group Chat Worth Keeping
- Celebrate Milestones Together
- Make Time Zones Work
- Video Calls With Purpose
- Watch, Play or Cook Together Online
- Send Letters, Cards and Surprises
- Plan Visits Well in Advance
- Make Every Reunion Count
- Keep the Daily Life Connection
- Reach Out After a Long Silence
- Apologise Sincerely and Simply
- Forgive Without Forgetting Yourself
- Resolve a Misunderstanding
- Rebuild After a Disagreement
- Make Peace With Friends Who Have Changed
- Nurture a Circle, Not Just a Few People
- Make New Friends at Every Age
- Be a Friend to Older and Younger People
- Leave Room for Change
- Let Go Kindly When You Must
- Your Lifelong Friendship Plan
