Book Clubs and Shared Projects
Thirty-two easy ways to enjoy book clubs and shared projects, doing something together so friendship has a purpose.
Shared projects bind friends. Meet around something you love.
27 tips that really help
These ideas come from The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz), Friends (Robin Dunbar), Platonic (Marisa Franco), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Projects give friendship shape
A book, a garden, a craft or a fitness goal gives friends a reason to meet and something to talk about. It also adds purpose.
Choose one.
Choose something you both love
Books, films, cooking, walking or learning a language. Interest keeps you coming.
Pick it.
Pick a rhythm
Monthly book clubs, weekly walks, quarterly projects. Rhythm builds habit.
Choose.
Keep the group small
Four to eight people allow everyone to speak. Small is cosy.
Stay small.
Set simple rules
Agree on meeting time, how to choose books and how long to talk. Light rules help.
Agree.
Take turns leading
Rotate who chooses and hosts. Fairness keeps energy.
Rotate.
Mix talk and treats
Tea, snacks and laughter make meetings joyful. Have both.
Add treats.
Allow different paces
Some finish books, some do not. Be kind.
Be flexible.
Share favourite lines
Read short passages aloud. It sparks talk.
Share.
Use questions
Prepare two or three questions. They guide talk.
Prepare.
Celebrate finishing
Mark the end of a book or project with a toast or a photo. Celebrate.
Celebrate.
Try shared projects too
A community garden, a charity event or a craft. Doing good together bonds.
Try one.
Script: proposing
Shall we start a book club with a few friends? Say it brightly.
Use it.
Script: sharing
I loved the second chapter, especially the ending. Say it warmly.
Use it.
Script: asking
What did you think of the main character? Say it with interest.
Use it.
Script: planning
Next month we could read a mystery, what do you think? Say it lightly.
Use it.
Script: closing
Thanks for a lovely discussion, see you next month. Say it sincerely.
Use it.
Mistake: choosing very long books
Long books can discourage, so start short.
Keep it easy.
Mistake: judging people who did not finish
Judging pushes them away, so welcome all.
Be kind.
Mistake: making rules too strict
Strict rules kill joy, so stay flexible.
Relax.
Troubleshoot: when no one finishes the book
Choose shorter texts or discuss the first half. Keep it fun.
Adapt.
Troubleshoot: when time is limited
Meet every two months or use audiobooks. Fit your life.
Adjust.
Troubleshoot: when the group loses energy
Add a new format: theme nights, films of the book. Refresh.
Refresh.
Troubleshoot: when you live far apart
Host online. Video book clubs work well.
Go online.
Drill: invite three friends
Invite three friends to a book club or project. Pick a first date.
Invite.
Drill: choose the first book
Pick a short, easy first book and share it. Start.
Choose.
Drill: write three questions
Write three discussion questions for your first meeting. Keep them handy.
Write.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.
“Shall we start a book club?”
“I loved the second chapter.”
“What did you think of the ending?”
“Next month we read this one.”
“Thanks for a lovely discussion.”
“See you next month.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Choose a shared interest
Pick a rhythm
Keep it small
Set simple rules
Rotate leadership
Mix talk and fun
Celebrate finishing
Further reading
- The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz)
- Friends (Robin Dunbar)
- Platonic (Marisa Franco)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “How to Maintain Friendships”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Holiday Traditions With FriendsNext: Walk-and-Talk Dates →
- Why Good Friendships Fade Without a Fight
- Time, Distance and Busy Seasons
- Life Stages and Friend Drift
- The Silence Spiral
- Why It Is Never Too Late to Reconnect
- Friendship Needs Maintenance Like Anything Else
- What Long Friendships Have in Common
- The Five-Minute Check-In
- Share Something That Made You Think of Them
- React to Their Posts Meaningfully
- Send a Voice Note on Your Walk
- Keep a Standing Weekly Call
- The Birthday Habit
- Gratitude Messages for No Reason
- The Annual Trip or Reunion
- Monthly Dinner or Game Night
- Holiday Traditions With Friends
- Book Clubs and Shared Projects
- Walk-and-Talk Dates
- Create a Friend Group Chat Worth Keeping
- Celebrate Milestones Together
- Make Time Zones Work
- Video Calls With Purpose
- Watch, Play or Cook Together Online
- Send Letters, Cards and Surprises
- Plan Visits Well in Advance
- Make Every Reunion Count
- Keep the Daily Life Connection
- Reach Out After a Long Silence
- Apologise Sincerely and Simply
- Forgive Without Forgetting Yourself
- Resolve a Misunderstanding
- Rebuild After a Disagreement
- Make Peace With Friends Who Have Changed
- Nurture a Circle, Not Just a Few People
- Make New Friends at Every Age
- Be a Friend to Older and Younger People
- Leave Room for Change
- Let Go Kindly When You Must
- Your Lifelong Friendship Plan
