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Making Friends / How to Maintain Friendships / Lesson 17
LESSON 17 · HOW TO MAINTAIN FRIENDSHIPS

Holiday Traditions With Friends

Thirty-two easy ways to enjoy holiday traditions with friends, warm rituals that make the season shine.

Holidays are for sharing. Friends are family too.

26 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan
Start with tip 1
Jump to the 7-day plan

26 tips that really help

These ideas come from The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz), Friends (Robin Dunbar), Platonic (Marisa Franco), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

Photo for the tip: Holidays can feel lonely
TIP 1

Holidays can feel lonely

Many people feel alone at holidays. Friends can make them warm. Traditions with friends create belonging.

TRY THIS
Include people.
Photo for the tip: Pick a holiday or season
TIP 2

Pick a holiday or season

Winter holidays, spring festivals, summer picnics. Choose one to share.

TRY THIS
Choose.
Photo for the tip: Invite early
TIP 3

Invite early

Plans in advance make yes easier. Send invitations weeks ahead.

TRY THIS
Invite.
Photo for the tip: Share the work
TIP 4

Share the work

Potluck, shared decorating, shared cleaning. Teamwork is joy.

TRY THIS
Share.
Photo for the tip: Include people who are alone
TIP 5

Include people who are alone

Think of friends without family nearby. Invite them.

TRY THIS
Include them.
Photo for the tip: Honour different traditions
TIP 6

Honour different traditions

Ask what matters to each friend. Respect and blend.

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Keep it simple
TIP 7

Keep it simple

A meal, a game and a walk. Simple is warm.

TRY THIS
Keep it light.
Photo for the tip: Exchange small gifts
TIP 8

Exchange small gifts

Secret friends or handmade gifts. Keep costs low.

TRY THIS
Try it.
Photo for the tip: Make a tradition
TIP 9

Make a tradition

Same dish, same game, same playlist each year. Rituals bond.

TRY THIS
Create.
Photo for the tip: Take photos
TIP 10

Take photos

Capture the day for next year. Memories matter.

TRY THIS
Snap.
Photo for the tip: Send holiday cards
TIP 11

Send holiday cards

A card or message to friends who cannot come. Warm thread.

TRY THIS
Send.
Photo for the tip: Reflect on the year
TIP 12

Reflect on the year

Share highlights and thanks. Gratitude closes the year.

TRY THIS
Share.
Photo for the tip: Script: inviting
TIP 13

Script: inviting

Would you like to join us for dinner on the holiday? Say it warmly.

TRY THIS
Use it.
Photo for the tip: Script: sharing
TIP 14

Script: sharing

Let us make a friends’ dinner and everyone brings a dish. Say it brightly.

TRY THIS
Use it.
Photo for the tip: Script: respecting
TIP 15

Script: respecting

Tell me what matters most to you at this time of year. Say it kindly.

TRY THIS
Use it.
Photo for the tip: Script: wishing
TIP 16

Script: wishing

Sending warm wishes to you and yours. Say it sincerely.

TRY THIS
Use it.
Photo for the tip: Script: closing
TIP 17

Script: closing

Same time next year, thanks for celebrating with us. Say it cheerfully.

TRY THIS
Use it.
Photo for the tip: Mistake: spending too much
TIP 18

Mistake: spending too much

Holiday pressure causes stress, so keep costs low.

TRY THIS
Keep it simple.
Photo for the tip: Troubleshoot: when you are alone for holidays
TIP 19

Troubleshoot: when you are alone for holidays

Join a community meal, volunteer or host a small gathering. Reach out early.

TRY THIS
Reach out.
Photo for the tip: Troubleshoot: when you have a family conflict
TIP 20

Troubleshoot: when you have a family conflict

Create a friends’ celebration at another time. Protect your joy.

TRY THIS
Plan alternative.
Photo for the tip: Troubleshoot: when friends are far away
TIP 21

Troubleshoot: when friends are far away

Hold a video celebration. Share dishes by post.

TRY THIS
Go online.
Photo for the tip: Troubleshoot: when you feel sad
TIP 22

Troubleshoot: when you feel sad

Honour feelings and keep plans small. Gentle is okay.

TRY THIS
Be gentle.
Photo for the tip: Troubleshoot: when money is tight
TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when money is tight

Make it potluck and handmade gifts. Warmth is free.

TRY THIS
Go cheap.
Photo for the tip: Drill: invite one person
TIP 24

Drill: invite one person

Invite one person to a holiday meal this year. Do it early.

TRY THIS
Invite.
Photo for the tip: Drill: write a tradition list
TIP 25

Drill: write a tradition list

List three small traditions you could start. Pick one.

TRY THIS
List.
Photo for the tip: Drill: send three cards
TIP 26

Drill: send three cards

Send three holiday cards this season. Add a personal line.

TRY THIS
Send.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

INVITE

“Would you like to join us for the holidays?”

SHARE

“Let us make a friends’ dinner.”

BRING

“I will bring a dish.”

THANK

“Thanks for celebrating with us.”

WISH

“Warm wishes to you.”

CLOSE

“Same time next year.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Pick a holiday
DAY 2
Invite early
DAY 3
Share the work
DAY 4
Include everyone
DAY 5
Honour different traditions
DAY 6
Take photos
DAY 7
Repeat yearly

Further reading

  • The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz)
  • Friends (Robin Dunbar)
  • Platonic (Marisa Franco)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

← All How to Maintain Friendships lessons
Next lesson: Book Clubs and Shared Projects →

More lessons in “How to Maintain Friendships”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

← Previous: Monthly Dinner or Game NightNext: Book Clubs and Shared Projects →

  1. Why Good Friendships Fade Without a Fight
  2. Time, Distance and Busy Seasons
  3. Life Stages and Friend Drift
  4. The Silence Spiral
  5. Why It Is Never Too Late to Reconnect
  6. Friendship Needs Maintenance Like Anything Else
  7. What Long Friendships Have in Common
  8. The Five-Minute Check-In
  9. Share Something That Made You Think of Them
  10. React to Their Posts Meaningfully
  11. Send a Voice Note on Your Walk
  12. Keep a Standing Weekly Call
  13. The Birthday Habit
  14. Gratitude Messages for No Reason
  15. The Annual Trip or Reunion
  16. Monthly Dinner or Game Night
  17. Holiday Traditions With Friends
  18. Book Clubs and Shared Projects
  19. Walk-and-Talk Dates
  20. Create a Friend Group Chat Worth Keeping
  21. Celebrate Milestones Together
  22. Make Time Zones Work
  23. Video Calls With Purpose
  24. Watch, Play or Cook Together Online
  25. Send Letters, Cards and Surprises
  26. Plan Visits Well in Advance
  27. Make Every Reunion Count
  28. Keep the Daily Life Connection
  29. Reach Out After a Long Silence
  30. Apologise Sincerely and Simply
  31. Forgive Without Forgetting Yourself
  32. Resolve a Misunderstanding
  33. Rebuild After a Disagreement
  34. Make Peace With Friends Who Have Changed
  35. Nurture a Circle, Not Just a Few People
  36. Make New Friends at Every Age
  37. Be a Friend to Older and Younger People
  38. Leave Room for Change
  39. Let Go Kindly When You Must
  40. Your Lifelong Friendship Plan
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