Making Friends / How to Maintain Friendships / Lesson 16

LESSON 16 · HOW TO MAINTAIN FRIENDSHIPS

Monthly Dinner or Game Night

Thirty-two easy ways to enjoy a monthly dinner or game night, a simple ritual that keeps friends close all year.

A monthly meeting is a lifeline. Keep it simple and fun.

25 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

25 tips that really help

These ideas come from The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz), Friends (Robin Dunbar), Platonic (Marisa Franco), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Why monthly

Once a month is frequent enough to keep closeness and easy enough to keep. Rituals build memory.

TRY THIS
Start one.

TIP 2

Pick a regular date

The first Friday, the last Sunday. A pattern makes it easy.

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Choose.

TIP 3

Rotate hosts

Take turns hosting so no one carries all. Fairness keeps it alive.

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Rotate.

TIP 4

Keep food simple

Potluck, soup or snacks. Simple lowers stress.

TRY THIS
Go simple.

TIP 5

Choose easy games

Cards, board games or quizzes. Games make talking easy.

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Pick one.

TIP 6

Welcome everyone

Greet warmly and introduce guests. Hosting is a gift.

TRY THIS
Welcome.

TIP 7

Keep the guest list small

Four to eight is cosy. Keep the same core.

TRY THIS
Stay small.

TIP 8

Send a reminder

A message a few days ahead and the day before. Reminders reduce no-shows.

TRY THIS
Remind.

TIP 9

Set an end time

Knowing the end helps people say yes. Respect time.

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Set it.

TIP 10

Share the cleaning

Everyone helps. Teamwork is part of friendship.

TRY THIS
Share.

TIP 11

Keep a memory book

Note funniest moments or photos. Look back later.

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Record.

TIP 12

Script: inviting

Shall we do dinner at mine next Friday? Say it warmly.

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Use it.

TIP 13

Script: sharing

I will bring dessert if you bring the main. Say it cheerfully.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 14

Script: welcoming

Come in, make yourself at home. Say it kindly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 15

Script: playing

Who is ready for a game? Say it brightly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 16

Script: closing

Same time next month, thanks for coming. Say it sincerely.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 17

Mistake: making it complicated

Complex meals tire hosts, so keep it easy.

TRY THIS
Simplify.

TIP 18

Troubleshoot: when someone cannot attend

Include them by video or save a plate. Keep the bond.

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Include.

TIP 19

Troubleshoot: when space is small

Meet in a cafe or park instead. Place does not matter.

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Be flexible.

TIP 20

Troubleshoot: when money is tight

Make it potluck and cheap games. Warmth is free.

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Go cheap.

TIP 21

Troubleshoot: when the group grows too big

Split into two groups or keep a core circle. Cosy is better.

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Split kindly.

TIP 22

Troubleshoot: when it fades

Restart with a new theme or location. Refresh.

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Refresh.

TIP 23

Drill: plan the next three dates

Put three monthly dates in your calendar and invite friends. Do it.

TRY THIS
Schedule.

TIP 24

Drill: write a game list

List five easy games for your night. Pick one.

TRY THIS
List.

TIP 25

Drill: ask about preferences

Ask guests about favourite foods and games. Use them.

TRY THIS
Ask.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

INVITE

“Shall we do dinner next Friday?”

PLAN

“I will bring dessert.”

WELCOME

“Come in, make yourself at home.”

PLAY

“Who is ready for a game?”

THANK

“Thanks for coming.”

CLOSE

“Same time next month!”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Pick a regular date

DAY 2
Rotate hosts

DAY 3
Keep food simple

DAY 4
Choose easy games

DAY 5
Welcome everyone

DAY 6
Send reminders

DAY 7
Keep it going

Further reading

• The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz)
• Friends (Robin Dunbar)
• Platonic (Marisa Franco)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.