Mark as done Save lessonFree account needed

Making Friends / How to Approach Someone / Lesson 09

LESSON 09 · HOW TO APPROACH SOMEONE

The Right Moment to Say Hello

Ten tips for the right moment to say hello, so your timing helps rather than hurts.

Good timing makes a hello welcome. A few signals tell you when to go.

28 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

28 tips that really help

These ideas come from How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie), The Like Switch (Jack Schafer), The Charisma Myth (Olivia Fox Cabane), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Timing can make a hello welcome or unwelcome

The same words land well at one moment and badly at another. Learning to spot good moments makes you more confident and more considerate.

TRY THIS
Notice good moments for the next three days.

TIP 2

Good moment: just after someone arrives

New arrivals are scanning the room for a friendly face. A warm hello at once is a gift.

TRY THIS
Greet the next arrival.

TIP 3

Good moment: during a lull

When the music dips or a talk ends, people are open to chatting. Use the pause.

TRY THIS
Watch for lulls.

TIP 4

Good moment: while waiting

Queues, lifts and waiting rooms are natural moments. Everyone has time and nothing to do.

TRY THIS
Use the next wait.

TIP 5

Good moment: after a shared experience

After a talk or a film, people want to share reactions. Say what did you think?

TRY THIS
Ask it at the next event.

TIP 6

Good moment: when someone looks around

A person scanning the room is often hoping for contact. Meet their eyes.

TRY THIS
Catch one.

TIP 7

Bad moment: mid-sentence in a conversation

Cutting in is rude and rarely welcome. Wait for the pause.

TRY THIS
Hold back.

TIP 8

Bad moment: deep in a phone call or screen

Someone absorbed in a task is not open. Come back later.

TRY THIS
Choose another time.

TIP 9

Bad moment: during an emotional talk

Two people having a serious chat should be left alone. Respect it.

TRY THIS
Walk on.

TIP 10

Script: waiting for the pause

Excuse me, sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say hi. A polite break-in for the right moment.

TRY THIS
Use sparingly.

TIP 11

Script: starting with a shared moment

That talk was fascinating, wasn’t it? Perfect after an event.

TRY THIS
Prepare one.

TIP 12

Script: a lift or queue line

It is going to be a long wait, isn’t it? Friendly and light.

TRY THIS
Try one.

TIP 13

Mistake: waiting for a perfect moment

There is no perfect moment, only a good enough one. Start when it is reasonable.

TRY THIS
Go.

TIP 14

Mistake: speaking too early

Rushing in before people are settled can feel intrusive. Give them a moment.

TRY THIS
Wait ten seconds.

TIP 15

Mistake: speaking too late

Waiting until the end of the night means fewer chances. Go earlier.

TRY THIS
Start in the first half.

TIP 16

Troubleshoot: when you missed your moment

Wait for the next lull or approach someone else. There is always another.

TRY THIS
Try again.

TIP 17

Troubleshoot: when the person leaves just as you arrive

Smile, say it was nice to see you and move on. It is not a loss.

TRY THIS
Let it go.

TIP 18

Troubleshoot: when you are not sure

Say would it be okay to say hello? Most say yes.

TRY THIS
Ask.

TIP 19

Drill: pick three good moments a day

Notice three good moments, even if you do not act. Awareness builds skill.

TRY THIS
Count them.

TIP 20

Drill: greet at arrivals

Be the first to greet at your next event. It is the easiest timing.

TRY THIS
Do it.

TIP 21

Drill: use waiting time

Use every wait this week to say a friendly word to someone. Practice makes timing natural.

TRY THIS
Try it.

TIP 22

Early in the event is easiest

Conversations form early. Get there on time and start straight away.

TRY THIS
Arrive on time.

TIP 23

Mid-event is good with lulls

Between sessions, people move around. Join then.

TRY THIS
Watch the clock.

TIP 24

End of event is for goodbyes

It is a good moment to swap numbers if you clicked. Plan it.

TRY THIS
Ask for contact.

TIP 25

Online timing matters too

Messages sent late at night may be missed. Send at friendly hours.

TRY THIS
Think about time.

TIP 26

Respect their schedule

People are busy. A kind hello that fits their flow is appreciated.

TRY THIS
Be considerate.

TIP 27

Reflect on timing

Note which moments worked best. You will see patterns.

TRY THIS
Write them.

TIP 28

Celebrate good timing

Each time you choose well, say well done. It builds skill.

TRY THIS
Treat yourself.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

MOMENT

“Hi, I hope this is a good time.”

PAUSE

“Sorry to interrupt, I wanted to say hello.”

CHECK

“Do you have a minute?”

WAIT

“I will let you finish this and then say hello.”

WARM

“Great to meet you.”

EXIT

“I will leave you to it.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Watch for natural pauses

DAY 2
Wait for eye contact

DAY 3
Greet when someone arrives

DAY 4
Avoid mid-sentence interruptions

DAY 5
Say hello early at an event

DAY 6
Try again later if busy

DAY 7
Note which moments worked best

More lessons in “How to Approach Someone”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

← Previous: Spot Open and Closed Signals Next: Approach Alone, Pairs and Groups Differently →