Ask for a Small Opinion
Ten ways to ask for a small opinion, a friendly way to start a talk.
People like to be asked what they think. A small question makes them feel valued.
26 tips that really help
These ideas come from How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie), The Like Switch (Jack Schafer), The Charisma Myth (Olivia Fox Cabane), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Asking an opinion flatters without effort
People enjoy being asked what they think, because it signals that their view is valued. It also gives them an easy topic to talk about.
Ask one person for their view today.
Choose low-stakes opinions
Which of these do you think is better? or what would you order here? are easy to answer and risk-free. Save big opinions for later.
Pick a small decision to ask about.
Script: the menu question
What would you recommend here? works in any cafe or restaurant and nearly always makes people smile.
Use it at the next cafe.
Script: the choice question
I am torn between these two, which would you pick? invites a quick and friendly answer.
Use it in a shop.
Script: the route question
Do you know which route is quickest from here? Practical and easy.
Ask for directions.
Script: the event question
What did you think of that talk? Invites a view and starts a chat.
Use it after an event.
Script: thanking them
That is really helpful, thank you. It closes warmly.
Say it.
Mistake: asking to test them
Ask because you are curious, not to catch them out. Genuine interest shows.
Be sincere.
Mistake: ignoring the answer
If you ask and then talk over the reply, they feel used. Listen.
Listen fully.
Mistake: asking controversial questions too early
Politics and religion can wait. Choose neutral topics.
Keep it light.
Troubleshoot: when they say they do not know
Smile and say fair enough, thanks anyway. Do not push.
Move on kindly.
Troubleshoot: when they give a long answer
Nod and show interest, then gently ask a follow-up. Enjoy their story.
Listen.
Troubleshoot: when you disagree
Say interesting, I see it a little differently, and ask why they think so. Stay curious.
Ask why.
Drill: ask for a recommendation
Ask for a book, a show or a place. It always works.
Try it.
Drill: report back
Tell them how their advice worked next time. It builds a thread.
Follow up.
Ask about experience
Have you tried it? invites a story.
Ask.
Ask for a choice
Which one would you pick? is easy.
Ask.
Ask for advice on a small problem
How do you deal with this? invites help.
Ask.
Show appreciation
Thank people for their input. Gratitude connects.
Thank.
Use their answer
Refer to it later. It shows you listened.
Mention it.
Be open to change
If their opinion is good, say so. Humility is attractive.
Say you convinced me.
Ask experts gently
Ask someone knowledgeable for tips. People love to teach.
Ask.
Avoid asking too many
One or two questions at a time is enough. Mix with comments.
Balance.
Match the setting
Ask opinions that fit the place. Keep it relevant.
Choose well.
Notice enthusiasm
If they light up, ask more. Follow energy.
Watch.
Keep a list of questions
Write five opinion questions. Have them ready.
Write.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.
“Which of these do you think is better?”
“What would you order here?”
“Do you think I should try the course?”
“What do you recommend for a first-timer?”
“That is really helpful, thank you.”
“How did you find it?”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Think of three small questions
Ask one at a shop or cafe
Ask one at an event
Thank them for their view
Follow up with another question
Share what you chose
Repeat
Further reading
- How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie)
- The Like Switch (Jack Schafer)
- The Charisma Myth (Olivia Fox Cabane)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
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Start freeThese lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.
More lessons in “How to Approach Someone”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Comment on the Shared SituationNext: Give a Genuine Compliment →
- What You Are Really Afraid Of
- Most People Are Glad You Spoke First
- The Spotlight Effect at Parties
- A Rejection Is Rarely What You Imagine
- Why Waiting Makes It Harder
- Reframe Approaching as Being Kind
- The Worst Realistic Outcome Is Small
- Spot Open and Closed Signals
- The Right Moment to Say Hello
- Approach Alone, Pairs and Groups Differently
- What to Do When They Look Busy
- Wait for the Natural Pause
- Notice Who Is Standing Alone
- Be Respectful if It Is Not the Time
- Smile Before You Speak
- Walk Over at an Angle, Not Straight On
- Keep Open and Relaxed Posture
- The Friendly Introduction Handshake
- Eye Contact That Feels Warm
- Say Your Name With a Smile
- Do Not Hover: Commit to Hello
- Comment on the Shared Situation
- Ask for a Small Opinion
- Give a Genuine Compliment
- Ask for a Small Favour
- Introduce Yourself Simply
- The Question That Starts Any Chat
- Use Humour Lightly
- Approach at a Party
- Approach at Work
- Approach in Class
- Approach at the Gym
- Approach Online First
- Approach a Neighbour
- Keep the Chat Going for One More Minute
- Exit Gracefully if It Is Not Clicking
- Suggest Meeting Again Casually
- Handle a Cool Reception Without Hurt
- Reflect and Learn After Each Approach
- Practise Approaching Every Week
