Approach at Work
Thirty easy ways to approach someone at work, so you build friendly ties with colleagues without awkwardness.
Work friends help everyone. Be warm and professional.
30 tips that really help
These ideas come from How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie), The Like Switch (Jack Schafer), The Charisma Myth (Olivia Fox Cabane), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Why work friends matter
Friendly ties make work easier and happier. They also help when you need advice.
Build them.
Start with daily greetings
A warm good morning builds familiarity. Do it every day.
Greet daily.
Use their name
Names show you care. Use it kindly.
Use names.
Ask about their work
How is your project going? Safe and friendly.
Ask it.
Ask about their weekend
Ask about their weekend on Monday, because easy small talk is warm and shows you care.
Ask it.
Offer small help
Can I help with that? Helping builds trust.
Offer help.
Say thank you often
Thank people for their help every time, because gratitude bonds colleagues and makes work happier.
Thank them.
Invite for coffee
Would you like to grab a coffee this week? Low pressure.
Invite.
Invite for lunch
A shared meal builds friendship. Keep it casual.
Invite.
Remember small details
Ask about their pet or trip later. Care.
Remember.
Celebrate their wins
Celebrate their wins such as promotions and birthdays, because kind words make colleagues feel valued.
Celebrate.
Keep gossip out
Keep gossip out of your chats, because avoiding negative talk about others builds trust quickly.
Skip gossip.
Script: greeting
Good morning, how are you today? Say it warmly.
Use it.
Script: asking
How is your project going? Say it with interest.
Use it.
Script: helping
Can I help with that? Say it kindly.
Use it.
Script: lunch
Would you like to grab lunch this week? Say it lightly.
Use it.
Script: closing
Thanks for your help, have a great weekend. Say it gladly.
Use it.
Mistake: only talking about work
Mix in light personal chat, so ask about life.
Mix it.
Mistake: gossiping
Gossip destroys trust in a team, so avoid it and talk kindly about people who are not there.
Avoid it.
Mistake: oversharing
Keep personal details light at first, so share slowly.
Go slow.
Mistake: ignoring quiet colleagues
Quiet people need care too, so include them.
Include them.
Mistake: pushing friendship
Pushing a work friendship too fast feels odd, so let it grow naturally and be patient.
Be patient.
Troubleshoot: when you work remotely
Use video calls and chat to say hello. Schedule virtual coffee.
Go virtual.
Troubleshoot: when a colleague is busy
If a colleague is busy, offer to chat later, because respecting their time keeps the tie warm.
Offer later.
Troubleshoot: when there is tension
Stay polite, find common ground and keep your tone calm. Careful.
Stay calm.
Troubleshoot: when they are your boss
Be respectful and brief. Ask about priorities.
Be brief.
Troubleshoot: when you feel awkward
Use a work topic first, then add a personal line. Smooth.
Start work.
Drill: greet three colleagues
Greet three colleagues by name tomorrow. Note smiles.
Try it.
Drill: invite one for coffee
Invite one colleague for coffee this week. Easy.
Invite.
Drill: say a thank you
Thank a colleague for something today. Warm.
Thank.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.
“Good morning, how are you?”
“How is your project going?”
“Can I help with that?”
“Would you like to grab lunch?”
“Thanks for your help.”
“Have a great weekend.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Greet daily
Ask about work
Offer small help
Invite for coffee
Remember details
Celebrate wins
Keep it kind
Further reading
- How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie)
- The Like Switch (Jack Schafer)
- The Charisma Myth (Olivia Fox Cabane)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “How to Approach Someone”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Approach at a PartyNext: Approach in Class →
- What You Are Really Afraid Of
- Most People Are Glad You Spoke First
- The Spotlight Effect at Parties
- A Rejection Is Rarely What You Imagine
- Why Waiting Makes It Harder
- Reframe Approaching as Being Kind
- The Worst Realistic Outcome Is Small
- Spot Open and Closed Signals
- The Right Moment to Say Hello
- Approach Alone, Pairs and Groups Differently
- What to Do When They Look Busy
- Wait for the Natural Pause
- Notice Who Is Standing Alone
- Be Respectful if It Is Not the Time
- Smile Before You Speak
- Walk Over at an Angle, Not Straight On
- Keep Open and Relaxed Posture
- The Friendly Introduction Handshake
- Eye Contact That Feels Warm
- Say Your Name With a Smile
- Do Not Hover: Commit to Hello
- Comment on the Shared Situation
- Ask for a Small Opinion
- Give a Genuine Compliment
- Ask for a Small Favour
- Introduce Yourself Simply
- The Question That Starts Any Chat
- Use Humour Lightly
- Approach at a Party
- Approach at Work
- Approach in Class
- Approach at the Gym
- Approach Online First
- Approach a Neighbour
- Keep the Chat Going for One More Minute
- Exit Gracefully if It Is Not Clicking
- Suggest Meeting Again Casually
- Handle a Cool Reception Without Hurt
- Reflect and Learn After Each Approach
- Practise Approaching Every Week
