Making Friends / How to Maintain Friendships / Lesson 22

LESSON 22 · HOW TO MAINTAIN FRIENDSHIPS

Make Time Zones Work

Thirty-two easy ways to make time zones work, so distance never decides who stays close.

Different clocks, same friendship. A little planning bridges oceans.

27 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

27 tips that really help

These ideas come from The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz), Friends (Robin Dunbar), Platonic (Marisa Franco), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Time zones are solvable

Many close friendships span many time zones. A little planning and some kindness keep them strong.

TRY THIS
Plan well.

TIP 2

Know both times

Use a world clock on your phone. Check before you call.

TRY THIS
Add a clock.

TIP 3

Find overlap

Look for windows like your evening and their morning. Even one slot works.

TRY THIS
Find it.

TIP 4

Fix a regular slot

A weekly or monthly time removes the daily planning. Calendars help.

TRY THIS
Fix it.

TIP 5

Rotate who adjusts

Take turns staying up late or getting up early. Fairness keeps goodwill.

TRY THIS
Rotate.

TIP 6

Use voice notes

Send audio they can play when awake. Asynchronous care is real.

TRY THIS
Send audio.

TIP 7

Use shared tools

Shared photo albums, notes or playlists carry the day. Add and enjoy.

TRY THIS
Share.

TIP 8

Write messages for their morning

Send a good-morning note timed to arrive as they wake. Sweet touch.

TRY THIS
Schedule.

TIP 9

Respect their rest

Do not call at odd hours unless urgent. Rest matters.

TRY THIS
Be considerate.

TIP 10

Be flexible in busy seasons

Adjust the slot when life changes. Stay kind.

TRY THIS
Adapt.

TIP 11

Plan visits

Looking forward to a visit helps with the miles. Dates help.

TRY THIS
Plan one.

TIP 12

Celebrate the effort

Say thank you for adjusting. Gratitude keeps balance.

TRY THIS
Thank.

TIP 13

Script: asking

What time suits you best for a call? Say it kindly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 14

Script: offering

I can call in my evening, your morning, if that works. Say it warmly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 15

Script: voice note

Here is a voice note for when you wake up. Say it brightly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 16

Script: thanking

Thanks for staying up for me, it means so much. Say it sincerely.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 17

Script: closing

Same time next week, sleep well. Say it gently.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 18

Mistake: calling at night without asking

It can wake them, so text first.

TRY THIS
Ask.

TIP 19

Mistake: giving up because it is hard

Creative planning solves most issues, so keep trying.

TRY THIS
Persist.

TIP 20

Troubleshoot: when there is no overlap

Use voice notes, messages and a monthly extended call. Asynchronous care works.

TRY THIS
Use audio.

TIP 21

Troubleshoot: when plans keep changing

Offer a flexible window and confirm close to the time. Be easy.

TRY THIS
Be flexible.

TIP 22

Troubleshoot: when one of you is exhausted

Reschedule kindly and keep a light thread. Rest first.

TRY THIS
Be gentle.

TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when time zones differ widely

Pick a fixed monthly slot and rotate who stays up. Share it.

TRY THIS
Share.

TIP 24

Troubleshoot: when you feel left out

Say so kindly and ask for a plan that fits. Speak up.

TRY THIS
Speak.

TIP 25

Drill: add a world clock

Add your friend’s city to your phone clock today. Check it.

TRY THIS
Add it.

TIP 26

Drill: send a voice note

Send a voice note for them to hear when awake. Ask for a reply.

TRY THIS
Send.

TIP 27

Drill: book the next call

Book the next call in both calendars. Include the time zone.

TRY THIS
Book.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

ASK

“What time suits you best?”

OFFER

“I can call at my evening or your morning.”

SHARE

“Here is a voice note for when you wake.”

FLEX

“I am happy to adjust.”

THANK

“Thanks for staying up for me.”

CLOSE

“Same time next week.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Know both times

DAY 2
Find overlap

DAY 3
Use voice notes

DAY 4
Rotate who stays up

DAY 5
Fix a slot

DAY 6
Use tools

DAY 7
Respect rest

Further reading

• The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz)
• Friends (Robin Dunbar)
• Platonic (Marisa Franco)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.