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LESSON 07 · BODY LANGUAGE

Sit Like You Mean It

Thirty-two ways to sit like you mean it, whether at a desk, a dinner table, a sofa or an interview.

How you sit says how you feel. Sit as someone who belongs.

40 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

40 tips that really help

These ideas come from Presence (Amy Cuddy), What Every BODY Is Saying (Joe Navarro), The Definitive Book of Body Language (Allan and Barbara Pease), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

How you sit says how you feel

Sitting shapes first impressions in meetings, interviews and dinners. Sitting upright and settled says “I am comfortable and engaged”, while slumping says “I would like to be elsewhere”, whether or not it is true.

TRY THIS
Check how you are sitting right now and adjust gently.

TIP 2

Sit back, not on the edge

Sitting well back in the chair, with your back supported, looks relaxed and takes strain off your spine. Perching on the edge of a seat tends to look nervous and makes your back work harder.

TRY THIS
Slide back until your back touches the chair.

TIP 3

Feet flat on the floor

Placing both feet flat gives you a stable base and helps your hips and spine line up. Crossed legs are fine now and then, but resting on the whole sole of your feet is the easiest position to hold.

TRY THIS
Plant both feet flat for the next five minutes.

TIP 4

Knees at roughly ninety degrees

A chair that is too high or too low tilts your pelvis and tires your back. Adjust it so that your knees are about level with your hips and your thighs are supported.

TRY THIS
Raise or lower your chair until your knees feel level.

TIP 5

Support your lower back

A small cushion or a rolled towel in the curve of your lower back keeps your spine in a neutral shape and stops you slumping forward as the day goes on.

TRY THIS
Add a small cushion behind your lower back.

TIP 6

Rest your forearms

Letting your forearms rest on a table or armrests takes weight off your shoulders and neck. It also makes you look settled and comfortable.

TRY THIS
Rest your forearms lightly on the table.

TIP 7

Keep your screen at eye level

A low screen pulls your head forward and rounds your shoulders. Raise it until the top of the screen is near eye level, so you can look straight ahead.

TRY THIS
Raise your monitor or laptop today.

TIP 8

Lean in slightly to show interest

A gentle forward tilt of the upper body, from the hips, signals interest without hunching. Return to an upright position when you finish speaking.

TRY THIS
Lean in a few degrees when someone shares something interesting.

TIP 9

Do not slump into the chair

Sliding down with your back rounded makes you look disengaged and compresses your breathing. Sit tall and shift your weight forward a little.

TRY THIS
Sit up and breathe in slowly.

TIP 10

Do not twist for long

Sitting twisted, with your upper body turned one way and legs the other, strains your back. Face the person or screen with your whole body.

TRY THIS
Square your hips and shoulders to what you are facing.

TIP 11

Do not sit rigidly

Sitting too straight and tense looks stiff and tires you. Soften your shoulders and let your body settle into the chair while staying tall.

TRY THIS
Relax your shoulders and jaw.

TIP 12

Scene: at a desk

Sit with your feet flat, your back supported and your forearms resting on the desk. Every hour, stand, stretch and walk for a minute. You will feel and look fresher.

TRY THIS
Set an hourly reminder to move.

TIP 13

Scene: in a meeting

Sit back, place your notebook in front of you and rest your hands on the table. Turn slightly toward whoever is speaking and nod. You look prepared and attentive.

TRY THIS
Turn your chest toward the speaker.

TIP 14

Scene: at a dinner table

Sit tall with your arms resting lightly at the table’s edge. Avoid leaning on your elbows or hunching over your plate. You look relaxed and polite.

TRY THIS
Sit tall at your next meal.

TIP 15

Scene: in an interview

Sit back, with your hands in your lap or on the table and your feet flat. Lean slightly forward to listen and sit back to think. Calm, upright sitting shows confidence.

TRY THIS
Rehearse your interview seat position.

TIP 16

Scene: on a sofa

Sofas tempt us to sink. Sit toward the front with a cushion behind your back, and keep your feet on the floor if you can. It looks easy and keeps you comfortable.

TRY THIS
Prop a cushion behind you on the sofa.

TIP 17

Scene: on a plane or train

Long journeys test posture. Use a small cushion for your lower back, keep your feet on the floor, and stand and stretch whenever you can.

TRY THIS
Take a cushion on your next long trip.

TIP 18

Scene: at a café

In a café, choose a chair that supports you, face your companion and keep your bag off the table. Relaxed, upright sitting makes conversation easier.

TRY THIS
Sit facing your companion at a slight angle.

TIP 19

Scene: on a video call

Sit so that your camera sees your head and shoulders, and keep your back supported. Avoid sitting too far back or leaning toward the screen.

TRY THIS
Check your seat distance before a call.

TIP 20

Scene: in a car

A good driving position has your back supported, your shoulders relaxed and your hands light on the wheel. Adjust your seat and mirrors before you go.

TRY THIS
Adjust your car seat for a tall, easy sit.

TIP 21

Crossing your legs

Crossing at the knee is fine in moderation but can tilt your pelvis. Alternate sides or keep both feet on the floor. Crossing at the ankle is often more comfortable.

TRY THIS
Switch the way you cross every so often.

TIP 22

Sitting with your hands

When seated, rest your hands on your lap, the table or the armrests. Avoid hiding them under your thighs, which looks closed.

TRY THIS
Rest your hands where people can see them.

TIP 23

Sitting with a phone

Hold your phone up in front of you rather than down in your lap. It keeps your head level and your shoulders relaxed.

TRY THIS
Raise your phone to chest height.

TIP 24

Sitting to listen

To show you are listening, turn your torso toward the person, keep your feet pointing toward them and nod softly. Your body says what words cannot.

TRY THIS
Face your listener with your whole body.

TIP 25

Sitting to think

Leaning back, glancing away and resting your chin on your hand can show you are thinking. Do it deliberately when you want to pause.

TRY THIS
Lean back before you answer a hard question.

TIP 26

Sitting when nervous

Nerves tighten the legs and shoulders. Press your feet into the floor, breathe out and let your arms rest. Grounding through your feet calms you.

TRY THIS
Press your feet into the floor and breathe out.

TIP 27

Sitting when tired

Fatigue makes us slump. Take a short walk, drink water and sit again with a fresh posture. A two-minute reset beats pushing through.

TRY THIS
Take two minutes to reset when you feel droopy.

TIP 28

Use a standing option

If you can, alternate between sitting and standing. A standing desk or a high counter gives your body variety and lifts your energy.

TRY THIS
Stand for part of your next call.

TIP 29

Use movement breaks

Every thirty to sixty minutes, stand up, stretch and walk around. Movement refreshes your circulation and mood and resets your posture.

TRY THIS
Set a timer for a one-minute walk.

TIP 30

Choose a good chair

A chair with adjustable height, back support and armrests makes good posture easier. If you sit for hours, it is worth investing in or borrowing a better one.

TRY THIS
Adjust or upgrade your chair.

TIP 31

Use a footrest if needed

If your feet do not reach the floor, a footrest supports your legs and stops you perching. A small box works.

TRY THIS
Place a box under your feet.

TIP 32

Mind your wrists

Keep your wrists straight when typing and rest them lightly. Bent or pressed wrists can cause strain over time.

TRY THIS
Check your wrist position.

TIP 33

Mind your neck

Avoid craning forward. Keep your head over your spine and your chin level. Frequent small adjustments help.

TRY THIS
Check your neck alignment.

TIP 34

Breathe while seated

Take a slow breath into your belly every so often to counter shallow breathing. It relaxes your shoulders and clears your head.

TRY THIS
Take three slow breaths at your desk.

TIP 35

Stretch while seated

Roll your shoulders, turn your head gently and stretch your arms. Small stretches keep you comfortable through long sits.

TRY THIS
Do a one-minute seated stretch.

TIP 36

Ask for help if you have pain

If sitting causes pain, speak to a doctor or physiotherapist. A professional assessment can find a fix.

TRY THIS
Book a check if pain persists.

TIP 37

Be consistent

Good sitting is a habit, not an event. Small adjustments throughout the day add up.

TRY THIS
Practise lightly each day.

TIP 38

Celebrate comfort

When you notice you are sitting comfortably and looking relaxed, enjoy it. That is the goal.

TRY THIS
Note a moment of comfort today.

TIP 39

Mirror the setting when you sit

At a formal dinner or interview, sit more upright. At a friendly gathering, a slightly looser, relaxed position fits. Reading the setting helps you look at ease without looking out of place.

TRY THIS
Notice the tone of the room before you settle into your seat.

TIP 40

Keep your sitting kind to your body

Good sitting habits protect your back and neck over the years. Small daily choices, such as a supportive chair, regular breaks and a raised screen, pay off long after any single meeting.

TRY THIS
Make one change to your seating setup this week.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.

SIT

“May I sit here?”

LEAN

“That sounds really interesting.”

SETTLE

“I am comfortable, thank you.”

ASK

“Would you like to take the better seat?”

THANK

“Thank you for the invitation.”

RISE

“Shall we go?”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Sit back in the chair

DAY 2
Place both feet flat

DAY 3
Keep a long spine

DAY 4
Rest forearms on the desk

DAY 5
Lean forward slightly

DAY 6
Avoid slouching

DAY 7
Stand and stretch

More lessons in “Body Language”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

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