Greet First, Smile First
Thirty-two ways to greet first and smile first, the small initiative that makes you seem warm and brave.
The first hello is a gift. Be the one who gives it.
40 tips that really help
These ideas come from Presence (Amy Cuddy), What Every BODY Is Saying (Joe Navarro), The Definitive Book of Body Language (Allan and Barbara Pease), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
The first hello is a gift
Greeting someone first, with a smile, tells them they are welcome. It costs nothing, takes a few seconds and often starts friendships, helps shy people and brightens a day.
Say hello first to three people today.
Why first matters
Many people wait for the other person to start because they fear being ignored. Being the first removes that fear for both of you.
Be the one who starts.
Smile as you greet
A smile makes a greeting warm. Let it reach your eyes.
Smile.
Use a name
If you know a name, use it. It makes the greeting personal.
Use names.
Look at them
Eye contact tells them the hello is meant for them.
Look up.
Use a clear voice
A calm, clear “Hello” or “Good morning” lands better than a mumble.
Speak clearly.
Add a small extra
“How is your day?” turns a hello into a connection.
Ask a little.
Keep it light
A greeting does not need to be long. A warm, short hello is enough.
Keep it brief.
Scene: neighbours
Greet neighbours by name and smile. Over months, you will feel at home.
Start today.
Scene: colleagues
A morning hello builds goodwill. Greet people as you arrive.
Greet each.
Scene: shop staff
Say hello and thank you to staff. It makes their day.
Smile.
Scene: at the gym
Greet the regulars. Friendships grow slowly.
Say hello.
Scene: at school gates
A smile and hello to other parents builds community.
Smile.
Scene: at a party
Greet people as you go. You will feel less alone.
Say hello.
Scene: in a lift
A brief hello makes the ride warmer.
Say hello.
Scene: on public transport
A smile and nod to fellow passengers builds community.
Nod.
Scene: on a walk
A hello to those you pass is a small kindness.
Greet.
Scene: online
A friendly greeting in group chats welcomes newcomers.
Welcome.
Scene: at home
Greet family warmly when they come in. It matters.
Greet at the door.
Scene: with children
Get to their level, smile and say hello. They notice.
Kneel.
Scene: with elders
A respectful, warm hello honours them.
Be kind.
Scene: at a new workplace
Greet everyone you meet in the first week. People remember.
Be friendly.
Scene: at a new class
Say hello to the people near you. Friendships start there.
Begin.
Scene: at a religious or community event
Greet warmly and follow local customs.
Be respectful.
Scene: when you are shy
Start with a smile and a nod. Then a quiet hello. Small steps work.
Start small.
Scene: when you are tired
A smile still helps. Keep it brief.
Smile.
Scene: when you are busy
A quick hello takes seconds and keeps relationships warm.
Say hello.
Scene: when you are upset
You do not have to pretend. A gentle hello is enough.
Be real.
Handle no reply
If someone does not reply, they may be distracted or shy. Do not take it personally.
Move on kindly.
Handle a cold reply
Some people are in a hurry. Do not let it stop you.
Keep greeting.
Handle a surprised reply
Some people are startled that someone greeted them. Smile and continue.
Be gentle.
Handle language barriers
Learn hello in other languages. Effort is appreciated.
Learn a few.
Handle safety
Trust your instincts. If a situation feels unsafe, move on.
Stay safe.
Use a ritual
Make greeting a habit: a smile and hello each morning.
Make it routine.
Track your hellos
Count how many you say in a day and watch the number grow.
Count.
Notice the effects
People often smile back. Your mood may lift too.
Observe.
Teach others
Encourage friends and children to greet. It spreads.
Share.
Celebrate friendliness
Each hello makes the world a little warmer. Enjoy it.
Note one.
People underestimate how welcome a hello is
Research by Nicholas Epley and Juliana Schroeder found that people expected talking to strangers to be unpleasant, but those who did so enjoyed their commute more. Expect a warmer response than you fear.
Say hello to a fellow commuter this week.
Greet the unexpected person
Say hello to the people who often go unnoticed: cleaners, security staff, delivery drivers. Being greeted by name or with a smile can make their day, and yours.
Greet one person you usually walk past.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.
“Hi there, how are you?”
“Good to see you.”
“How is your day going?”
“Welcome, make yourself at home.”
“Thanks for saying hello back.”
“Have a lovely day.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Make eye contact
Smile early
Say hello first
Use their name
Ask a simple question
Be patient
Repeat daily
Further reading
- Presence (Amy Cuddy)
- What Every BODY Is Saying (Joe Navarro)
- The Definitive Book of Body Language (Allan and Barbara Pease)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “Body Language”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Dress to Feel Like YourselfNext: Be Fully Present With One Person →
- Your Posture Is Your First Sentence
- Stand Tall Without Stiffness
- The Open-Shoulder Reset
- Walk Into a Room Like You Belong
- Where to Put Your Hands
- Take Up Your Fair Share of Space
- Sit Like You Mean It
- The Warm Face Habit
- Smile With Your Eyes
- What Your Face Says When You Are Nervous
- Relax Your Jaw and Your Brow
- Look Interested Without Trying Hard
- Look Confident on Video Calls
- Read a Room by Reading Faces
- Open Palms Build Trust
- Gesture Between Shoulders and Waist
- Stop Fidgeting Without Effort
- Stop Touching Your Face
- Match Your Gestures to Your Words
- Hands in Pockets: Yes or No?
- The Power of Staying Still
- Crossed Arms Do Not Always Mean No
- Spot Comfort and Discomfort
- Notice Feet and Direction
- Mirror Gently to Build Rapport
- Check Words Against Body
- Read Before You React
- Ask Instead of Assuming
- The Ten-Second Entrance
- A Handshake That Says Yes
- Dress to Feel Like Yourself
- Greet First, Smile First
- Be Fully Present With One Person
- Leave a Warm Last Impression
- Body Language in a Job Interview
- Body Language on a First Date
- Body Language on Camera
- Body Language in Groups
- Body Language When Giving Bad News
- Your Daily Presence Practice
