The Power of Staying Still
Thirty-two ways to use the power of staying still, so calm and composure do the persuading for you.
Stillness reads as confidence. Calm is magnetic.
40 tips that really help
These ideas come from Presence (Amy Cuddy), What Every BODY Is Saying (Joe Navarro), The Definitive Book of Body Language (Allan and Barbara Pease), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Stillness reads as confidence
People who stand or sit calmly, without restless movement, look settled and sure. Stillness is not stiffness. It is calm control that tells others you are comfortable and in no hurry.
Stay calm and still for the first ten seconds of your next conversation.
Still is not frozen
True stillness has a gentle life in it: breathing, small natural gestures and a softly changing face. A frozen body looks tense. A still body looks settled.
Breathe slowly and let tiny natural movements happen.
Why it works
Fast, constant motion often signals nerves or urgency. Slowing down tells listeners that you are not rushed, which makes your words feel more weighty.
Slow your movements by a third.
Start with your feet
Place your feet and keep them still. Shifting from foot to foot is one of the most visible signs of unease.
Plant your feet and stay there for a minute.
Settle your hands
Choose a home position and let your hands rest there between gestures. Constant hand movement distracts from your words.
Return your hands to rest after each gesture.
Settle your head
Constant head movement, such as nodding or tilting, can look anxious. Keep your head fairly steady and nod deliberately.
Nod only at key points.
Settle your eyes
Darting eyes look nervous. Let your gaze move slowly and rest on faces.
Slow your gaze.
Settle your breath
A slow, regular breath makes the rest of your body calm. Breathe low and slow.
Breathe out slowly.
Settle your voice
A calm body supports a steady voice. Speak slowly and clearly.
Slow your pace.
Use pauses
A pause is stillness in time. It shows control and gives words weight.
Pause before a key point.
Scene: giving a speech
Stand still for the first few seconds, take a breath and begin. A calm start signals command.
Hold your first position.
Scene: in a meeting
Sit back, rest your hands and listen without fidgeting. You will look attentive and calm.
Rest.
Scene: waiting for an interview
Sit with your feet flat and your hands resting. Stillness calms you and looks professional.
Practise sitting still.
Scene: meeting someone new
Stand calmly, make eye contact and let them speak. Stillness shows interest.
Stay relaxed.
Scene: during a disagreement
Stay still and calm while the other person speaks. It prevents escalation.
Keep your body quiet.
Scene: when giving bad news
Stillness conveys respect. Sit or stand calmly and speak gently.
Be steady.
Scene: on video
Cameras amplify movement. Stay fairly still and use deliberate gestures.
Reduce swaying.
Scene: when you are nervous
Notice the urge to move. Press your feet into the floor and breathe.
Ground yourself.
Scene: when you are excited
Excitement makes us bounce. Channel it into a smile and a few clear gestures.
Smile instead.
Scene: in a queue
Practise stillness while waiting. You will find it calming.
Practise.
Scene: at a party
Standing still in a spot lets people come to you. Avoid pacing.
Choose a spot.
Scene: in a lift
Stand still, breathe and face forward. It is a calm minute.
Use lifts as practice.
Scene: at a table
Keep your hands and feet quiet and listen. People notice calm.
Stay calm at meals.
Scene: with children
Calm, still adults help children settle. Move slowly.
Be calm.
Scene: in a crisis
Calm stillness helps others stay calm. Slow your movements.
Be a calm presence.
Do not fidget
Fidgeting undercuts confident words. Replace it with stillness.
Find a calm hold.
Do not pace
Pacing from nerves distracts. Walk with purpose, then stand.
Stand when you speak.
Do not rock
Rocking on your feet looks anxious. Plant your feet.
Stay grounded.
Do not bounce your leg
A bouncing leg is a common sign of nerves. Press your foot down.
Plant.
Do not tap
Tapping pens or fingers distracts. Hold still or use a quiet fidget.
Be quiet.
Practise stillness daily
Sit quietly for one minute a day. Notice the urge to move and let it pass.
Practise a minute.
Practise mindfulness
Meditation trains stillness of mind and body.
Try five minutes.
Practise slow breathing
It calms the body. Use it often.
Breathe.
Practise yoga or tai chi
These slow practices build body calm.
Try a class.
Record yourself
Watch your movement habits on video. Notice and adjust.
Record.
Ask for feedback
A friend can tell you if you fidget. Ask kindly.
Ask.
Be patient
Stillness grows with practice. Keep going.
Practise.
Celebrate calm
When you notice yourself still and relaxed, enjoy it.
Note a moment.
Stillness gives your words room
When you stop moving between sentences, listeners have space to take in what you said. Movement while you speak competes with your message, but a still body lets your words stand out.
Pause your hands and feet for one sentence and notice the difference.
Be still, then move on purpose
Stillness makes your deliberate movements, such as a step forward or a gesture for a key point, stand out. The contrast adds emphasis without any extra effort.
Plan one deliberate movement for your next talk and stay still otherwise.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.
“Let me think about that.”
“I am glad to take my time.”
“Please, go on.”
“Here is my honest view.”
“Thanks for waiting.”
“That is all from me.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Pause before speaking
Plant your feet
Hold your hands quietly
Move with purpose
Breathe low
Let silence work
Rehearse stillness
Further reading
- Presence (Amy Cuddy)
- What Every BODY Is Saying (Joe Navarro)
- The Definitive Book of Body Language (Allan and Barbara Pease)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
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Start freeThese lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.
More lessons in “Body Language”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Hands in Pockets: Yes or No?Next: Crossed Arms Do Not Always Mean No →
- Your Posture Is Your First Sentence
- Stand Tall Without Stiffness
- The Open-Shoulder Reset
- Walk Into a Room Like You Belong
- Where to Put Your Hands
- Take Up Your Fair Share of Space
- Sit Like You Mean It
- The Warm Face Habit
- Smile With Your Eyes
- What Your Face Says When You Are Nervous
- Relax Your Jaw and Your Brow
- Look Interested Without Trying Hard
- Look Confident on Video Calls
- Read a Room by Reading Faces
- Open Palms Build Trust
- Gesture Between Shoulders and Waist
- Stop Fidgeting Without Effort
- Stop Touching Your Face
- Match Your Gestures to Your Words
- Hands in Pockets: Yes or No?
- The Power of Staying Still
- Crossed Arms Do Not Always Mean No
- Spot Comfort and Discomfort
- Notice Feet and Direction
- Mirror Gently to Build Rapport
- Check Words Against Body
- Read Before You React
- Ask Instead of Assuming
- The Ten-Second Entrance
- A Handshake That Says Yes
- Dress to Feel Like Yourself
- Greet First, Smile First
- Be Fully Present With One Person
- Leave a Warm Last Impression
- Body Language in a Job Interview
- Body Language on a First Date
- Body Language on Camera
- Body Language in Groups
- Body Language When Giving Bad News
- Your Daily Presence Practice
