Making Friends / How to Deal With Rejection / Lesson 11

LESSON 11 · HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION

Do Something Kind for Yourself

Thirty-two easy ways to do something kind for yourself, because comfort after hurt is not weakness.

You deserve gentleness. Start with one small act.

30 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

30 tips that really help

These ideas come from Rejection Proof (Jia Jiang), Attached (Amir Levine and Rachel Heller), Daring Greatly (Brené Brown), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Self-kindness works

Research on self-compassion shows that kind self-treatment lowers distress and helps recovery. It is practical, not selfish.

TRY THIS
Be kind.

TIP 2

Pick a small comfort

Tea, a bath, a favourite meal, a blanket. Small comforts soothe quickly.

TRY THIS
Pick one.

TIP 3

Do it fully

Give the comfort your full attention. Savour each sip or minute.

TRY THIS
Be present.

TIP 4

Rest well

Go to bed early or take a nap. Hurt is harder when tired.

TRY THIS
Rest.

TIP 5

Eat something nourishing

Food steadies mood. Choose something you enjoy.

TRY THIS
Eat.

TIP 6

Move gently

A walk or stretch helps release tension. Fresh air helps.

TRY THIS
Walk.

TIP 7

Enjoy a favourite thing

A film, music or a hobby. Joy is medicine.

TRY THIS
Enjoy.

TIP 8

Create comfort

Light a candle, wear soft clothes, open a window. Comfort is made.

TRY THIS
Create it.

TIP 9

Connect with nature

A park, a garden or a window view. Nature calms the mind.

TRY THIS
Look outside.

TIP 10

Speak kindly to yourself

Say, I am doing my best, and that is enough. Words soothe.

TRY THIS
Say it.

TIP 11

Avoid guilt

You deserve care. Guilt has no place here.

TRY THIS
Allow it.

TIP 12

Plan a gentle week

Add small joys across the next days. Anticipation lifts mood.

TRY THIS
Plan three.

TIP 13

Make it a habit

Care for yourself every day, not just after hurt. Habits protect.

TRY THIS
Repeat.

TIP 14

Script: treating

I will make myself some tea and rest for a while. Say it warmly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 15

Script: moving

I will take a gentle walk to clear my head. Say it kindly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 16

Script: enjoying

I deserve an evening of something I love. Say it gently.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 17

Script: encouraging

I am doing my best, and that is enough. Say it softly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 18

Script: closing

That helped, thank you for caring for me. Say it sincerely.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 19

Mistake: numbing with too much food or drink

It delays healing, so choose gentler comfort.

TRY THIS
Be kind.

TIP 20

Mistake: calling it selfish

Self-care keeps you strong for others, so allow it.

TRY THIS
Reframe.

TIP 21

Mistake: waiting until you are exhausted

Early care prevents burnout, so start now.

TRY THIS
Begin.

TIP 22

Mistake: scrolling for comfort

Screens rarely soothe, so choose something real.

TRY THIS
Choose real.

TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when you have no time

Do a two-minute comfort like a breath and a stretch. Tiny counts.

TRY THIS
Go tiny.

TIP 24

Troubleshoot: when you have no money

Comfort can be free: a walk, a song, a call. Choose free joy.

TRY THIS
Go free.

TIP 25

Troubleshoot: when comfort feels undeserved

Say, I would treat a friend this way. Then do it for yourself.

TRY THIS
Reframe.

TIP 26

Troubleshoot: when you feel too low

Choose the smallest comfort, like a glass of water. Build from there.

TRY THIS
Start small.

TIP 27

Troubleshoot: when you share a home

Tell others you need quiet time and take it. Boundaries help.

TRY THIS
Ask kindly.

TIP 28

Drill: make a comfort kit

Gather five comforts in one place for hard days. Use them.

TRY THIS
Create it.

TIP 29

Drill: schedule self-care

Put one self-care act in your calendar each day this week. Keep it.

TRY THIS
Schedule.

TIP 30

Drill: say thanks to yourself

End the day by thanking yourself for one thing. Notice the warmth.

TRY THIS
Try it.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

TREAT

“I will make myself some tea.”

REST

“I will have an early night.”

MOVE

“I will take a walk.”

ENJOY

“I will watch my favourite show.”

THANK

“Thank you, me.”

CLOSE

“That helped.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Pick a small comfort

DAY 2
Do it fully

DAY 3
Be present

DAY 4
Avoid guilt

DAY 5
Add movement

DAY 6
Add warmth

DAY 7
Repeat

Further reading

• Rejection Proof (Jia Jiang)
• Attached (Amir Levine and Rachel Heller)
• Daring Greatly (Brené Brown)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.