Making Friends / How to Deal With Rejection / Lesson 14

LESSON 14 · HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION

Remember Who Does Care

Thirty-two easy ways to remember who does care, because one cold moment should not erase all the warm ones.

Count the warm hearts. They are there.

28 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

28 tips that really help

These ideas come from Rejection Proof (Jia Jiang), Attached (Amir Levine and Rachel Heller), Daring Greatly (Brené Brown), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Rejection narrows your view

When one person hurts you, your mind forgets the many who care. Deliberately remembering them restores balance.

TRY THIS
Look wider.

TIP 2

List people who care

Write ten names of people who like or love you. Put them where you can see them.

TRY THIS
Write ten.

TIP 3

Collect kind messages

Save warm texts, cards and compliments in one folder. Read them after a snub.

TRY THIS
Make a folder.

TIP 4

Recall kind moments

Think of times friends showed up for you. Memories are proof.

TRY THIS
Recall three.

TIP 5

Reach out to one of them

Send a short hello to someone who loves you. Warmth returns warmth.

TRY THIS
Message one.

TIP 6

Say thank you

Thank people who show up. Gratitude strengthens the bond.

TRY THIS
Thank someone.

TIP 7

Spend time with warm people

Choose company that lifts you. Balance cold with warm.

TRY THIS
Plan a meet.

TIP 8

Notice small kindnesses

A smile, a lift, a joke. They count too.

TRY THIS
Notice them.

TIP 9

Keep photos of good times

Look at pictures of joyful moments. They remind you of belonging.

TRY THIS
Look.

TIP 10

Tell them they matter

Say, you mean a lot to me. Giving love brings love.

TRY THIS
Say it.

TIP 11

Build more connections

Join groups, say hello to neighbours. More warm people mean more safety.

TRY THIS
Widen.

TIP 12

Remember your own worth

You are lovable and have people. That is true.

TRY THIS
Affirm.

TIP 13

Script: remembering

My friend Sam cares about me, and so do others. Say it warmly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 14

Script: reaching

I was thinking of you and wanted to say hello. Say it kindly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 15

Script: thanking

Thanks for always being there for me. Say it sincerely.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 16

Script: sharing

You mean a lot to me, I hope you know that. Say it gently.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 17

Script: closing

I am not alone, and I am loved. Say it softly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 18

Mistake: focusing only on the one who rejected you

It dims the many who care, so widen your view.

TRY THIS
Look wider.

TIP 19

Mistake: doubting their care

Check the evidence of kindness, so trust.

TRY THIS
Look at proof.

TIP 20

Mistake: comparing your circle

Everyone’s circle looks different, so value yours.

TRY THIS
Be grateful.

TIP 21

Troubleshoot: when you cannot think of anyone

Start with family, neighbours and old classmates. Join a group to meet more.

TRY THIS
Start small.

TIP 22

Troubleshoot: when your circle is small

Small is okay. Deepen those bonds and add slowly.

TRY THIS
Go deeper.

TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when you feel unworthy

Ask a friend what they like about you. Listen to the answer.

TRY THIS
Ask.

TIP 24

Troubleshoot: when care seems far away

Send voice notes and plan visits. Distance can be bridged.

TRY THIS
Reach out.

TIP 25

Troubleshoot: when you feel lonely despite friends

Talk honestly about your feelings with one friend. Honesty brings closeness.

TRY THIS
Be honest.

TIP 26

Drill: the kind-words folder

Create a folder of kind messages today and add three. Read it when sad.

TRY THIS
Create it.

TIP 27

Drill: ten names

Write ten names of people who care and one reason for each. Read it aloud.

TRY THIS
Write.

TIP 28

Drill: thank two people

Thank two people who care about you this week. Be specific.

TRY THIS
Do it.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

REMEMBER

“My friend Sam cares about me.”

LIST

“Here are five people who care.”

REACH

“I will message someone who loves me.”

THANK

“Thanks for always being there.”

SHARE

“You mean a lot to me.”

CLOSE

“I am not alone.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
List who cares

DAY 2
Collect kind messages

DAY 3
Reach out to one

DAY 4
Say thanks

DAY 5
Spend time with them

DAY 6
Keep a kind-words file

DAY 7
Remember in hard times

Further reading

• Rejection Proof (Jia Jiang)
• Attached (Amir Levine and Rachel Heller)
• Daring Greatly (Brené Brown)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.