Making Friends / How to Build Stronger Friendships / Lesson 34

LESSON 34 · HOW TO BUILD STRONGER FRIENDSHIPS

Create Traditions

Thirty-two easy ways to create traditions with friends, the yearly and weekly habits that make friendship feel like home.

Traditions are love made regular. Start one today.

26 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

26 tips that really help

These ideas come from Daring Greatly (Brené Brown), The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz), Platonic (Marisa Franco), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Traditions give friendships roots

Regular rituals create a sense of belonging and something to look forward to. They anchor friendships through busy years.

TRY THIS
Start one.

TIP 2

Pick a simple ritual

A Sunday walk, a birthday brunch, a summer picnic or a December card swap. Simple lasts.

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Choose.

TIP 3

Choose a regular time

Same day each week, month or year. Regularity builds habit.

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Pick it.

TIP 4

Keep it small

Small traditions are easier to keep than grand ones.

TRY THIS
Keep it light.

TIP 5

Make it yours

Add a special food, song or place. Little touches become signatures.

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Add one.

TIP 6

Include everyone

Invite friends who would love it. Shared joy grows.

TRY THIS
Include.

TIP 7

Be flexible

If life changes, adapt the tradition rather than drop it. Keep the spirit.

TRY THIS
Adapt.

TIP 8

Record memories

Take a yearly photo at the same place. Watch time pass.

TRY THIS
Photograph.

TIP 9

Use traditions in hard times

They offer comfort and stability when life is hard. Lean on them.

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Lean.

TIP 10

Pass them on

Invite new friends and younger people to join. Traditions grow.

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Share.

TIP 11

Celebrate anniversaries of traditions

Mark your tenth year of the picnic. Honour it.

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Celebrate.

TIP 12

Script: proposing

Shall we make this walk our yearly tradition? Say it warmly.

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Use it.

TIP 13

Script: repeating

Same time next year, then! Say it cheerfully.

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Use it.

TIP 14

Script: sharing

I look forward to this all year. Say it sincerely.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 15

Script: inviting

Would you like to join our tradition this time? Say it kindly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 16

Script: closing

Thanks for keeping our tradition going. Say it happily.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 17

Mistake: making traditions too elaborate

Complex rituals fade, so keep it simple.

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Simplify.

TIP 18

Mistake: excluding people without thinking

Include or explain kindly, so be considerate.

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Include.

TIP 19

Troubleshoot: when schedules clash

Choose a flexible date within a season. Stay open.

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Adapt.

TIP 20

Troubleshoot: when a friend moves away

Hold the tradition online or on visits. Keep the thread.

TRY THIS
Adapt.

TIP 21

Troubleshoot: when money is tight

Choose free traditions like walks and potlucks. Warmth is free.

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Go free.

TIP 22

Troubleshoot: when no one remembers

Send reminders and keep it light. Be the keeper.

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Remind.

TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when the tradition feels stale

Refresh with a new location or activity, keeping the heart. Change a little.

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Refresh.

TIP 24

Drill: choose a tradition

Choose one tradition to start with a friend this year. Propose it.

TRY THIS
Choose.

TIP 25

Drill: set a repeating date

Add a repeating date to your calendar for it. Invite them.

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Set it.

TIP 26

Drill: take the yearly photo

Take a photo at your next traditional event. Start a series.

TRY THIS
Photograph.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

PLAN

“Shall we make this our yearly tradition?”

REPEAT

“Same time next year!”

SHARE

“I look forward to this all year.”

INVITE

“Would you like to join our tradition?”

THANK

“Thanks for keeping it going.”

CLOSE

“It is our special day.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Pick a simple ritual

DAY 2
Choose a regular time

DAY 3
Put it in calendars

DAY 4
Keep it small

DAY 5
Include everyone

DAY 6
Add small touches

DAY 7
Keep it going

Further reading

• Daring Greatly (Brené Brown)
• The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz)
• Platonic (Marisa Franco)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.