Making Friends / How to Build Stronger Friendships / Lesson 15

LESSON 15 · HOW TO BUILD STRONGER FRIENDSHIPS

Share What You Really Feel

Thirty-two easy ways to share what you really feel, so friendships become honest, close and deeply supportive.

Feelings shared become feelings halved. Start small.

28 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

28 tips that really help

These ideas come from Daring Greatly (Brené Brown), The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz), Platonic (Marisa Franco), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Why sharing feelings matters

When friends share feelings, they feel known and supported. Hidden feelings keep friendships on the surface.

TRY THIS
Share a little.

TIP 2

Notice your feelings

Check in with yourself: sad, nervous, excited or tired? Awareness comes first.

TRY THIS
Notice.

TIP 3

Name them in simple words

Say, I feel worried, or I feel happy. Simple words are enough.

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Name them.

TIP 4

Choose a safe friend

Pick someone kind and trustworthy. Not everyone is right for every feeling.

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Choose well.

TIP 5

Ask for a good time

Say, is this a good time to talk? It helps them listen.

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Ask.

TIP 6

Start small

Share a small feeling first. See how they respond.

TRY THIS
Test gently.

TIP 7

Use I statements

Say, I feel anxious about work. Avoid blame.

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Start with I.

TIP 8

Say what you need

Tell them if you want advice, comfort or just a listener. Clear needs help.

TRY THIS
Be clear.

TIP 9

Be brief

A few sentences are enough to start. Add more if they invite.

TRY THIS
Keep it short.

TIP 10

Listen to their response

Notice if they listen well. Good listeners deserve more trust.

TRY THIS
Observe.

TIP 11

Share good feelings too

Share joy, pride and excitement. Not only worries.

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Share joy.

TIP 12

Go deeper over time

As trust grows, share more. Depth takes time.

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Be patient.

TIP 13

Script: sharing

I have been feeling a bit low lately and wanted to tell you. Say it softly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 14

Script: naming

I feel nervous about the new job. Say it honestly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 15

Script: asking

Is this a good time to share something with you? Say it kindly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 16

Script: need

I do not need advice, I just need someone to listen. Say it gently.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 17

Script: closing

Thank you for listening, I feel lighter now. Say it sincerely.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 18

Mistake: sharing everything at once

It can overwhelm, so go step by step.

TRY THIS
Pace it.

TIP 19

Mistake: apologising for your feelings

Feelings are valid, so say thank you instead.

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Skip sorry.

TIP 20

Mistake: using feelings as a weapon

Share to connect, not to blame, so be kind.

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Stay kind.

TIP 21

Troubleshoot: when you cannot find words

Say, I do not know how to say this, but I feel something heavy. That is enough.

TRY THIS
Be honest.

TIP 22

Troubleshoot: when they do not respond well

Thank them and share with another friend or a counsellor. Not everyone listens well.

TRY THIS
Seek others.

TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when you feel exposed

Take a breath, thank them and ask them to keep it private. Self-kindness helps.

TRY THIS
Care for yourself.

TIP 24

Troubleshoot: when it is hard to share in person

Write a message first. Writing can be a bridge.

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Write it.

TIP 25

Troubleshoot: when culture discourages sharing

Share in small, indirect ways and with a trusted person. Respect your context.

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Go gently.

TIP 26

Drill: share one feeling

Share one honest feeling with a friend this week. Note how it feels.

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Do it.

TIP 27

Drill: feelings words list

Learn ten feeling words and use two. Build vocabulary.

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Learn.

TIP 28

Drill: write a feelings message

Draft a message that shares a feeling and save it. Send if ready.

TRY THIS
Write.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

SHARE

“I have been feeling a bit low.”

NAME

“I feel nervous about it.”

ASK

“Can I tell you how I feel?”

THANK

“Thank you for listening.”

CHECK

“Is this a good time?”

CLOSE

“I feel lighter now.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Notice your feelings

DAY 2
Name them

DAY 3
Choose a safe friend

DAY 4
Ask for a good time

DAY 5
Share a little

DAY 6
Listen to their response

DAY 7
Share more over time

Further reading

• Daring Greatly (Brené Brown)
• The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz)
• Platonic (Marisa Franco)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.