Making Friends / How Often to Contact Someone / Lesson 35

LESSON 35 · HOW OFTEN TO CONTACT SOMEONE

Friendships Through Busy Seasons

Thirty-two easy ways to keep friendships through busy seasons, so love survives deadlines, babies and tired weeks.

Busy does not mean gone. Tiny touches keep the thread.

28 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

28 tips that really help

These ideas come from Friends (Robin Dunbar), Platonic (Marisa Franco), Together (Vivek Murthy), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Busy seasons happen

Work peaks, small children, studies and illness fill the diary. Friendships can survive if you keep a thin thread.

TRY THIS
Do not panic.

TIP 2

Tell friends you are busy

Say, I am very busy for the next month but thinking of you. Honest words prevent worry.

TRY THIS
Tell them.

TIP 3

Send tiny notes

A heart, a photo or a short voice note. Small is real.

TRY THIS
Send small.

TIP 4

Keep key dates

Remember birthdays and big days. A short message on those days matters.

TRY THIS
Mark them.

TIP 5

Plan for after

Say, let us celebrate when this is over. Looking ahead keeps hope.

TRY THIS
Plan.

TIP 6

Use short calls

Ten minutes on a walk or commute is enough. Short beats none.

TRY THIS
Call briefly.

TIP 7

Protect one friend slot

Keep one weekly or monthly slot for a friend. Treat it as vital.

TRY THIS
Guard it.

TIP 8

Ask for understanding

Say, I may be slow to reply, it is not about you. Gentle honesty.

TRY THIS
Explain.

TIP 9

Let others carry some

Accept that friends may reach out more now. Receive kindly.

TRY THIS
Receive.

TIP 10

Use shared tools

Shared photo albums or group chats keep you connected with low effort.

TRY THIS
Use them.

TIP 11

Look after yourself

Rest is part of friendship. A rested you is a better friend.

TRY THIS
Rest.

TIP 12

Restart after the season

When the busy time ends, reach out warmly and plan something fun. Rebuild.

TRY THIS
Reconnect.

TIP 13

Script: telling

I am very busy this month, but I am thinking of you. Say it warmly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 14

Script: planning

Let us catch up properly after the project ends. Say it brightly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 15

Script: tiny

Sending you a little heart in the middle of my busy week. Say it lightly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 16

Script: asking

Do you have ten minutes for a quick chat this week? Say it kindly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 17

Script: closing

Thanks for understanding, talk soon. Say it sincerely.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 18

Mistake: disappearing without a word

Silence worries friends, so send a short note.

TRY THIS
Tell them.

TIP 19

Mistake: feeling guilty all the time

Guilt drains you, so do what you can.

TRY THIS
Be kind to yourself.

TIP 20

Mistake: letting go of everyone

Keep at least a few threads, so choose your key friends.

TRY THIS
Prioritise.

TIP 21

Troubleshoot: when a friend feels hurt

Apologise, explain and plan a catch-up. Show you care.

TRY THIS
Repair.

TIP 22

Troubleshoot: when the busy time is long

Agree on a lighter rhythm like monthly. Be honest.

TRY THIS
Adjust.

TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when you are a new parent

Send tiny notes, accept help and plan short visits. Forgive yourself.

TRY THIS
Be gentle.

TIP 24

Troubleshoot: when you cannot reply

Use auto-replies or voice notes on the go. Tools help.

TRY THIS
Use tools.

TIP 25

Troubleshoot: when your friend is busy

Keep your messages light and no-pressure. Be generous.

TRY THIS
Give grace.

TIP 26

Drill: list your key friends

List the five friends you will keep in touch with during busy times. Message one.

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List.

TIP 27

Drill: write a busy-season message

Write a short busy-season note and save it. Send it when needed.

TRY THIS
Write.

TIP 28

Drill: plan a celebration

Plan a small celebration for the end of your busy time. Tell a friend.

TRY THIS
Plan.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

SHARE

“I am very busy, but I am thinking of you.”

PLAN

“Let us catch up after the project.”

TINY

“Sending a heart.”

ASK

“Is there a good time for a quick chat?”

THANK

“Thanks for understanding.”

CLOSE

“Talk soon.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Tell friends you are busy

DAY 2
Send tiny notes

DAY 3
Plan after the busy time

DAY 4
Keep key dates

DAY 5
Use short calls

DAY 6
Protect one friend slot

DAY 7
Rest

Further reading

• Friends (Robin Dunbar)
• Platonic (Marisa Franco)
• Together (Vivek Murthy)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.