Making Friends / How Often to Contact Someone / Lesson 13

LESSON 13 · HOW OFTEN TO CONTACT SOMEONE

The Five-Minute Daily Habit

Thirty-two easy ways to build a five-minute daily habit, a tiny routine that keeps your friendships warm.

Five minutes a day can change your circle. Small and steady wins.

29 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

29 tips that really help

These ideas come from Friends (Robin Dunbar), Platonic (Marisa Franco), Together (Vivek Murthy), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Tiny habits work

Five minutes is easy to keep. Over a year it adds up to hundreds of warm touches.

TRY THIS
Start tomorrow.

TIP 2

Pick a time

Link it to a daily habit like morning coffee or lunch. Habits stick to habits.

TRY THIS
Choose.

TIP 3

Pick one person

Choose one friend a day. A list in your notes tells you who is next.

TRY THIS
Make a list.

TIP 4

Send one kind message

A hello, a compliment or a thank-you. One message, five minutes, done.

TRY THIS
Send one.

TIP 5

Rotate through the list

Close friends more often, others less. Rotate fairly.

TRY THIS
Rotate.

TIP 6

Keep it short

Short messages are easy to write and easy to receive.

TRY THIS
Be brief.

TIP 7

Use quick tools

Voice notes, emoji or photos save time. Use what you like.

TRY THIS
Use tools.

TIP 8

Make it joyful

Choose messages that make you smile. Joy keeps the habit alive.

TRY THIS
Enjoy it.

TIP 9

Track your streak

Tick each day on a calendar. Streaks motivate.

TRY THIS
Track it.

TIP 10

Reply to replies

If someone responds, reply when you can. Conversation grows.

TRY THIS
Respond.

TIP 11

Include family

Add parents, siblings and cousins. They love small hellos.

TRY THIS
Include them.

TIP 12

Script: morning

Good morning, hope your day goes beautifully. Say it warmly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 13

Script: thought

This made me think of you and I had to share it. Say it brightly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 14

Script: praise

You did such a great job on that, well done! Say it sincerely.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 15

Script: thanks

Thanks for always being there for me. Say it gently.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 16

Script: closing

Talk soon, sending you a smile. Say it cheerfully.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 17

Mistake: trying to do too much

Big goals get dropped, so keep to five minutes.

TRY THIS
Stay small.

TIP 18

Mistake: skipping days then giving up

One miss is fine, so restart the next day.

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Restart.

TIP 19

Mistake: copying the same line

Repeats feel cold, so vary your messages.

TRY THIS
Vary.

TIP 20

Mistake: expecting replies every time

Not every message needs a reply, so enjoy the sending.

TRY THIS
Let go.

TIP 21

Mistake: turning it into a chore

If it feels like work, simplify. Joy first.

TRY THIS
Lighten.

TIP 22

Troubleshoot: when you forget

Set a daily alarm labelled friend moment. Cues help.

TRY THIS
Set it.

TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when you run out of ideas

Keep a list of lines, songs and photos. Borrow from it.

TRY THIS
List ideas.

TIP 24

Troubleshoot: when you are tired

Send a heart or a short voice note. Minimal still counts.

TRY THIS
Do the minimum.

TIP 25

Troubleshoot: when a friend does not reply

Keep sending light notes now and then. Do not keep score.

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Be patient.

TIP 26

Troubleshoot: when you feel awkward

Remember you are being kind. Most people are touched.

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Send it.

TIP 27

Drill: seven-day streak

Send one kind message a day for seven days. Mark each tick.

TRY THIS
Start.

TIP 28

Drill: prepare ten lines

Write ten daily lines ahead of time. Use them.

TRY THIS
Write.

TIP 29

Drill: choose a daily cue

Link your five minutes to a daily habit. Try it for a week.

TRY THIS
Choose.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

HELLO

“Good morning, hope your day goes well.”

SHARE

“This made me think of you.”

ASK

“How are you today?”

THANK

“Thanks for always being there.”

PRAISE

“You did a great job.”

CLOSE

“Talk soon.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Pick a time

DAY 2
Pick a name

DAY 3
Send one kind message

DAY 4
Keep it short

DAY 5
Do it daily

DAY 6
Track your streak

DAY 7
Enjoy the replies

Further reading

• Friends (Robin Dunbar)
• Platonic (Marisa Franco)
• Together (Vivek Murthy)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.