Making Friends / How to Build Stronger Friendships / Lesson 09

LESSON 09 · HOW TO BUILD STRONGER FRIENDSHIPS

Be Generous With Your Time

Thirty-two easy ways to be generous with your time, the most valuable gift a friend can give.

Time is love made visible. Give it freely.

27 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

27 tips that really help

These ideas come from Daring Greatly (Brené Brown), The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz), Platonic (Marisa Franco), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Time is precious

Everyone is busy, so giving time is a strong sign of love. Even a small amount, given fully, means a lot.

TRY THIS
Give some.

TIP 2

Notice free pockets

Find gaps in your week for a call, a walk or a visit. Small gaps add up.

TRY THIS
Look for them.

TIP 3

Offer a specific hour

Say, I have an hour on Thursday, shall we meet? Specific offers are easy to accept.

TRY THIS
Offer.

TIP 4

Be fully present

Put phones away and listen. An hour of full attention beats a day of half-attention.

TRY THIS
Be present.

TIP 5

Do not rush

Avoid checking the clock. Unhurried time feels generous.

TRY THIS
Slow down.

TIP 6

Visit in hard times

A visit when someone is ill or lonely is a treasure. Short is fine.

TRY THIS
Visit.

TIP 7

Help with tasks

Moving, painting, shopping or admin. Practical time helps.

TRY THIS
Offer.

TIP 8

Share your skills

Teach, advise or fix something. Skills are gifts of time.

TRY THIS
Share.

TIP 9

Give time to the small things

Listen to a story, look at photos, read a message fully. Small time matters.

TRY THIS
Notice.

TIP 10

Set boundaries too

Give within your limits. Generous does not mean exhausted.

TRY THIS
Protect yourself.

TIP 11

Respect their time

Do not overstay or overbook. Respect is generosity.

TRY THIS
Be considerate.

TIP 12

Enjoy giving

Notice how good it feels. Joy sustains generosity.

TRY THIS
Smile.

TIP 13

Script: offering

I have an hour on Thursday, shall we meet? Say it warmly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 14

Script: listening

Take as long as you need, I am not in a hurry. Say it gently.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 15

Script: visiting

Shall I pop round for a short visit tomorrow? Say it kindly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 16

Script: helping

I can give you a hand with the move on Saturday. Say it cheerfully.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 17

Script: closing

I am so glad we spent today together. Say it sincerely.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 18

Mistake: giving time but being distracted

Distracted time feels empty, so be fully there.

TRY THIS
Focus.

TIP 19

Mistake: saying I am too busy always

Busy becomes a habit, so schedule time for friends.

TRY THIS
Plan.

TIP 20

Mistake: giving time with resentment

Resentment spoils the gift, so only give what you can happily.

TRY THIS
Be honest.

TIP 21

Troubleshoot: when your diary is full

Replace one low-value item with friend time. Or offer a short call.

TRY THIS
Make room.

TIP 22

Troubleshoot: when you live far apart

Give time by video, voice notes or planned visits. Make it count.

TRY THIS
Plan.

TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when a friend asks too much

Set a kind limit: I can give an hour, not a day. Be clear.

TRY THIS
Set limits.

TIP 24

Troubleshoot: when you are tired

Offer a lighter way like a short call or a walk. Quality over length.

TRY THIS
Go light.

TIP 25

Drill: block a friend hour

Block one hour in your week for a friend. Protect it.

TRY THIS
Block it.

TIP 26

Drill: give full attention

Spend ten minutes with a friend with no phone. Notice the difference.

TRY THIS
Try it.

TIP 27

Drill: offer practical help

Offer help with one task this month. Do it.

TRY THIS
Offer.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

OFFER

“I have an hour free if you do.”

LISTEN

“Take as long as you need.”

VISIT

“Shall I pop round?”

HELP

“I can give you a hand.”

THANK

“Thanks for your time too.”

CLOSE

“I am glad we spent today together.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Notice free moments

DAY 2
Offer an hour

DAY 3
Be fully present

DAY 4
Do not rush

DAY 5
Choose quality

DAY 6
Protect their time too

DAY 7
Enjoy giving

Further reading

• Daring Greatly (Brené Brown)
• The Good Life (Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz)
• Platonic (Marisa Franco)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.