Host a Gathering at Your Place
Thirty-two easy ways to host a gathering at your place, so friends feel warm, welcome and at ease.
Hosting is a gift. It does not need to be perfect.
29 tips that really help
These ideas come from The Art of Gathering (Priya Parker), Bowling Alone (Robert Putnam), Platonic (Marisa Franco), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Home is the friendliest place
At home people relax and open up. A warm host creates trust and closeness.
Invite someone.
Keep it simple
Tea and cake, a pot of soup or a games night. Simple is enough.
Keep it light.
Invite a few people
Three to six guests is easy to manage. Small is cosy.
Choose a few.
Choose a time
Afternoon tea, brunch or an early evening. Give a clear start and end.
Set a time.
Tell guests what to expect
Say what you will serve and if they should bring anything. Clear info reduces stress.
Explain.
Tidy a little
Clean the main spaces, not everything. Welcoming beats perfect.
Tidy lightly.
Prepare food ahead
Choose make-ahead dishes. You can enjoy the guests.
Prepare.
Greet at the door
Smile, take coats and offer a drink. Warm entrances matter.
Greet.
Introduce people
Say names and one fact about each. Connect them.
Introduce.
Offer simple activities
Games, music or a walk. Something to do helps conversation.
Offer.
Thank guests
Say thanks at the door and send a message afterwards. Gratitude feels lovely.
Thank.
Script: inviting
Would you like to come for tea on Saturday afternoon? Say it warmly.
Use it.
Script: telling
Come about three, and there is no need to bring anything. Say it kindly.
Use it.
Script: welcoming
So glad you could come, let me take your coat. Say it cheerfully.
Use it.
Script: offering
Can I get you a drink or something to eat? Say it gently.
Use it.
Script: closing
Thanks for coming, please come again soon. Say it sincerely.
Use it.
Mistake: aiming for perfection
Stress spoils the fun, so keep it relaxed.
Relax.
Mistake: inviting too many
Crowds reduce chat, so keep it small.
Stay small.
Mistake: cooking complicated food
Simple food leaves you free to enjoy, so choose easy dishes.
Simplify.
Mistake: hiding in the kitchen
Spend time with guests, so prepare ahead.
Be present.
Mistake: apologising for your home
It makes guests uncomfortable, so welcome warmly.
Skip sorry.
Troubleshoot: when your home is small
Invite two or three and sit close. Small is cosy.
Embrace it.
Troubleshoot: when you have little money
Offer tea, biscuits or a potluck. Warmth costs nothing.
Keep it simple.
Troubleshoot: when you feel nervous
Prepare a plan, breathe and ask a friend to help. Hosts get easier.
Prepare.
Troubleshoot: when guests do not mix
Introduce them and start a simple game. Gentle structure helps.
Facilitate.
Troubleshoot: when someone stays too long
Stand, thank them and walk them to the door. Be kind and clear.
Close warmly.
Drill: invite two people for tea
Invite two people to your home for tea this month. Keep it simple.
Invite.
Drill: write a menu
Write a menu of simple snacks for guests. Prepare in advance.
Write.
Drill: send a thank-you
After hosting send a thank-you message. Mention a moment you enjoyed.
Send.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.
“Would you like to come for tea on Saturday?”
“Come about three, no need to bring anything.”
“So glad you could come.”
“Can I get you a drink?”
“Thanks for coming.”
“Come again soon.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Pick a simple plan
Invite a few
Tidy a little
Prepare simple food
Greet at the door
Introduce guests
Say thank you
Further reading
- The Art of Gathering (Priya Parker)
- Bowling Alone (Robert Putnam)
- Platonic (Marisa Franco)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “How to Join Groups”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Start Your Own GroupNext: Keep the Group Chat Alive →
- Why Groups Beat One-on-One for Making Friends
- Interest Groups That Work
- Local Clubs and Community Groups
- Online Groups That Lead to Real Meet-Ups
- Sports, Games and Creative Groups
- Groups for Introverts
- Try Three Before You Choose One
- Check the Group Beforehand
- Contact the Organiser First
- Arrive Early, Meet Early Birds
- Take a Friend for the First Visit
- What to Wear and What to Bring
- Plan Your First Three Sentences
- Give Yourself Permission to Leave
- How to Join a Group Conversation
- Find the Person Who Is Standing Alone
- Ask the Organiser for an Introduction
- Offer to Help Set Up
- Ask Questions to Learn the Group Culture
- Use Group Activities as Icebreakers
- Stay for the After-Event Chat
- Show Up Consistently
- Remember Names and Stories
- Volunteer for Small Roles
- Contribute Ideas Gently
- Welcome Newcomers Yourself
- Celebrate Group Wins
- Follow Up With People Between Meetings
- What to Do When a Group Feels Cliquey
- Handle Being the Newest Person
- Handle a Difficult Member
- When You Feel Left Out
- Know When a Group Is Not Right
- Leave a Group Without Drama
- Invite One Person for Coffee After Group
- Organise a Small Spin-Off Meet-Up
- Start Your Own Group
- Host a Gathering at Your Place
- Keep the Group Chat Alive
- Your Group Plan
