Making Friends / How to Join Groups / Lesson 26

LESSON 26 · HOW TO JOIN GROUPS

Welcome Newcomers Yourself

Thirty-two easy ways to welcome newcomers yourself, because the kindest thing you can do is remember how it felt.

You were new once. Be the hello you wished for.

30 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

30 tips that really help

These ideas come from The Art of Gathering (Priya Parker), Bowling Alone (Robert Putnam), Platonic (Marisa Franco), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Welcome is a gift

A warm welcome can decide whether a newcomer stays. You can change someone’s week with a hello.

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Be kind.

TIP 2

Remember how it felt

Recall your own first visit. What helped? Do that for others.

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Recall.

TIP 3

Spot newcomers

Look for people standing near the door, looking around or holding a drink alone.

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Look.

TIP 4

Smile and greet

Say hello with a smile and your name. A smile is enough to start.

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Greet.

TIP 5

Ask if it is their first time

Say, is this your first time here? It opens the chat.

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Ask.

TIP 6

Invite them to sit with you

Say, would you like to join us? It stops them feeling lost.

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Invite.

TIP 7

Show them around

Show where drinks, toilets and seats are. Practical help is kind.

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Show them.

TIP 8

Introduce them to others

Bring them into a conversation and say their name. Inclusion matters.

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Introduce.

TIP 9

Ask what brought them

Everyone has a reason. Listen with interest.

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Listen.

TIP 10

Explain group habits

Tell them what usually happens and how things work. Clear info calms nerves.

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Explain.

TIP 11

Follow up after

Send a message or say hello next week. It shows they matter.

TRY THIS
Follow up.

TIP 12

Invite them back

Say, we hope to see you next week. Plans make them feel wanted.

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Invite.

TIP 13

Script: greeting

Hi, welcome! Is this your first time here? Say it warmly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 14

Script: inviting

Would you like to sit with us and have a cup of tea? Say it kindly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 15

Script: showing

Let me show you where the drinks are. Say it helpfully.

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Use it.

TIP 16

Script: asking

What brought you to our group today? Say it with interest.

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Use it.

TIP 17

Script: closing

Thanks for coming, we hope to see you again soon. Say it sincerely.

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Use it.

TIP 18

Mistake: ignoring newcomers because you are shy

Your shyness is understood, so a small smile still helps them.

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Smile.

TIP 19

Mistake: overwhelming them with questions

Too many questions feel like an interview, so share about yourself too.

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Balance.

TIP 20

Mistake: talking only to your friends

Include newcomers in the circle, so open it up.

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Include.

TIP 21

Mistake: forgetting their name

Make an effort to learn it, so use it.

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Remember.

TIP 22

Mistake: expecting them to behave like regulars

They need time to learn, so be patient.

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Be kind.

TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when they seem shy

Offer a simple task or sit beside them quietly. Warmth does not need many words.

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Be gentle.

TIP 24

Troubleshoot: when you are new yourself

Welcome other newcomers anyway. You share a bond.

TRY THIS
Connect.

TIP 25

Troubleshoot: when a newcomer talks too much

Listen kindly and guide gently to others. Introduce them around.

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Redirect kindly.

TIP 26

Troubleshoot: when a newcomer does not come back

Send a friendly message and leave the door open. Not everyone stays.

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Stay warm.

TIP 27

Troubleshoot: when language is a barrier

Use simple words, gestures and smiles. Warmth speaks any language.

TRY THIS
Be warm.

TIP 28

Drill: greet one newcomer

At your next event greet one newcomer with a smile and your name. Note how it feels.

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Do it.

TIP 29

Drill: write a welcome line

Write a short welcome line you can use. Say it aloud.

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Write.

TIP 30

Drill: send a follow-up

Send a short message to a newcomer after the event. Invite them back.

TRY THIS
Message.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

GREET

“Hi, welcome, is this your first time?”

OFFER

“Would you like to sit with us?”

SHOW

“Let me show you where the tea is.”

ASK

“What brought you here?”

THANK

“Thanks for coming.”

CLOSE

“We hope to see you again.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Spot newcomers

DAY 2
Smile and greet

DAY 3
Introduce yourself

DAY 4
Invite them to sit

DAY 5
Introduce them to others

DAY 6
Follow up

DAY 7
Invite them back

Further reading

• The Art of Gathering (Priya Parker)
• Bowling Alone (Robert Putnam)
• Platonic (Marisa Franco)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.