Making Friends / How to Follow Up / Lesson 15

LESSON 15 · HOW TO FOLLOW UP

Keep It Short and Specific

Thirty-two easy ways to keep messages short and specific, because clear notes get quick, happy replies.

Short is kind. Specific is clear.

30 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

30 tips that really help

These ideas come from Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), Platonic (Marisa Franco), How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Short messages get answered

Busy people reply faster to short notes. A long text can feel like homework.

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Be brief.

TIP 2

Know your point

Decide what you want to say before you type. One idea per message.

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Choose one.

TIP 3

Start with the main idea

Put the key point in the first line. Do not bury it.

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Lead with it.

TIP 4

Be specific

Say Saturday at ten at the park cafe, not sometime. Specific plans are easy to accept.

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Add details.

TIP 5

Use simple words

Plain words are friendly and clear. Skip big words.

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Keep it plain.

TIP 6

Cut extra words

Remove very, really, just and a bit when they add nothing. Shorter reads better.

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Trim.

TIP 7

Use short sentences

Ten words or fewer when you can. They are easy to read on phones.

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Shorten.

TIP 8

Break up long ideas

If you must say more, use two short messages or a call. Do not make a wall of text.

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Split it.

TIP 9

Ask only one question

Two or three questions confuse. Ask the one that matters.

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Pick one.

TIP 10

Make yes easy

Offer a simple choice, like Saturday or Sunday. Easy choices get replies.

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Offer two.

TIP 11

Use a warm opener

One line of warmth, then the point. Not cold, not long.

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Add one line.

TIP 12

Read once before sending

Check names, times and tone. Then send.

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Proofread.

TIP 13

Script: specific plan

Are you free Saturday at ten for a walk in the park? Say it warmly.

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Use it.

TIP 14

Script: choice

Would Saturday or Sunday morning suit you better? Say it kindly.

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Use it.

TIP 15

Script: light

Hope you are having a good week, quick question for you. Say it lightly.

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Use it.

TIP 16

Script: easy answer

A simple yes or no is totally fine. Say it gently.

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Use it.

TIP 17

Script: closing

Thanks so much, talk soon. Say it cheerfully.

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Use it.

TIP 18

Mistake: writing a wall of text

Long blocks are tiring, so break them up or call instead.

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Shorten.

TIP 19

Mistake: being vague about time

Without a time, plans fade, so name a day and hour.

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Be clear.

TIP 20

Mistake: asking many questions

Too many questions feel like an exam, so ask just one.

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Choose one.

TIP 21

Mistake: burying the point

If the point is hidden, people miss it, so put it first.

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Lead with it.

TIP 22

Mistake: using hard words

Fancy words create distance, so choose plain, friendly ones.

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Simplify.

TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when you have a lot to say

Offer a call or meet-up instead of a long text. Voices are warmer.

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Call.

TIP 24

Troubleshoot: when it is complex

Send a short summary and ask if they would like details. Respect their time.

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Summarise.

TIP 25

Troubleshoot: when they reply with one word

That is fine. Keep your next message short too.

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Match them.

TIP 26

Troubleshoot: when you ramble

Write it, then delete half. The rest is usually enough.

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Edit.

TIP 27

Troubleshoot: when English is limited

Use short lines and common words. Clear beats clever.

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Keep it plain.

TIP 28

Drill: halve a message

Take an old message and cut it in half without losing meaning. Compare.

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Try it.

TIP 29

Drill: one-line plans

Write three one-line invites with day, time and place. Use one.

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Write.

TIP 30

Drill: read on your phone

Check how your message looks on a small screen. Shorten if long.

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Check.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

SHORT

“Are you free Saturday at ten?”

SPECIFIC

“Shall we meet at the park cafe?”

LIGHT

“Hope you are well.”

EASY

“A simple yes or no is fine.”

THANK

“Thanks so much.”

CLOSE

“Talk soon.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Know your point

DAY 2
Write one idea

DAY 3
Cut extra words

DAY 4
Add one detail

DAY 5
Ask one question

DAY 6
Read once

DAY 7
Send

Further reading

• Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
• Platonic (Marisa Franco)
• How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.