Making Friends / How to Follow Up / Lesson 27

LESSON 27 · HOW TO FOLLOW UP

Plan the Second Meet-Up Before the First Ends

Thirty-two easy ways to plan the second meet-up before the first ends, so friendship never loses its momentum.

The best time to plan is while it is fun. Ask before you part.

30 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

30 tips that really help

These ideas come from Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), Platonic (Marisa Franco), How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Momentum matters

The warmth at the end of a good meet-up is the best moment to plan the next. Waiting lets it fade.

TRY THIS
Ask before you part.

TIP 2

Enjoy the moment first

Do not rush. Wait for a natural pause or a happy moment.

TRY THIS
Time it.

TIP 3

Mention a next idea

Say, there is a lovely walk I would love to show you. A concrete idea excites.

TRY THIS
Offer one.

TIP 4

Ask if they would like to

Say, would you like to do this again soon? Give a chance to say yes.

TRY THIS
Ask.

TIP 5

Pick a rough date

Say, maybe next Saturday? A rough date is better than none.

TRY THIS
Name one.

TIP 6

Put it in calendars

Pull out your phones together and add it. Done there and then.

TRY THIS
Do it together.

TIP 7

Keep it small

A short plan feels easy. Coffee again or a walk.

TRY THIS
Think small.

TIP 8

Vary the activity

Try something new to keep it fresh. Variety deepens friendship.

TRY THIS
Mix it up.

TIP 9

Offer to host or choose

Take the lead on the place so they do not have to. Kind and helpful.

TRY THIS
Take the lead.

TIP 10

Alternate who plans

Over time share the planning. Fairness builds trust.

TRY THIS
Share.

TIP 11

Send a reminder

A short message the day before keeps it alive.

TRY THIS
Remind.

TIP 12

Be gracious if they hesitate

Say, no pressure, let me know. Leave the door open.

TRY THIS
Be kind.

TIP 13

Script: asking

Shall we do this again soon? I really enjoyed it. Say it warmly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 14

Script: idea

There is a lovely walk by the lake I would love to show you. Say it brightly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 15

Script: date

Would next Saturday morning suit you? Say it lightly.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 16

Script: calendars

Let us put it in our calendars right now. Say it cheerfully.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 17

Script: closing

I had a great time, thanks so much. Say it sincerely.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 18

Mistake: leaving without a plan

Without a plan, many friendships fade, so ask before parting.

TRY THIS
Ask.

TIP 19

Mistake: asking in a pushy way

Pressure makes people retreat, so keep your tone light.

TRY THIS
Relax.

TIP 20

Mistake: being vague

Let us meet again sometime rarely happens, so name a rough date.

TRY THIS
Be specific.

TIP 21

Mistake: planning something too big

Big plans scare new friends, so keep it simple.

TRY THIS
Go small.

TIP 22

Mistake: forgetting the reminder

Plans slip without a nudge, so send one the day before.

TRY THIS
Remind.

TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when they say they are busy

Say, I understand, shall I check back next week? Keep the door open.

TRY THIS
Stay kind.

TIP 24

Troubleshoot: when you fear asking

Remember a warm yes is more likely than you think, so ask lightly.

TRY THIS
Try it.

TIP 25

Troubleshoot: when the first meet-up was average

Try a different activity next time. Sometimes the setting matters.

TRY THIS
Change it.

TIP 26

Troubleshoot: when schedules are tight

Offer a call or a walk during lunch. Small plans still count.

TRY THIS
Be flexible.

TIP 27

Troubleshoot: when you live far apart

Plan a call now and a visit later. Keep contact going.

TRY THIS
Plan both.

TIP 28

Drill: say the line at your next meet-up

Practise saying shall we do this again soon before you part. Make it a habit.

TRY THIS
Try.

TIP 29

Drill: carry a plan idea

Keep one idea ready for a next time. It makes asking easy.

TRY THIS
Prepare.

TIP 30

Drill: use the calendar trick

Add every plan to your calendar on the spot. Do this for a month.

TRY THIS
Practise.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

ASK

“Shall we do this again soon?”

CHOOSE

“Would next Saturday suit you?”

IDEA

“There is a lovely walk I want to show you.”

CONFIRM

“Let us put it in our calendars.”

THANK

“Thanks, I had a great time.”

CLOSE

“See you next week.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Enjoy the moment

DAY 2
Mention a next idea

DAY 3
Ask if they would like to

DAY 4
Pick a rough date

DAY 5
Put it in calendars

DAY 6
Send a reminder

DAY 7
Keep the rhythm

Further reading

• Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
• Platonic (Marisa Franco)
• How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.