Making Friends / How to Follow Up / Lesson 23

LESSON 23 · HOW TO FOLLOW UP

Offer a Simple Plan

Thirty-two easy ways to offer a simple plan, so meeting up feels easy and fun, not like hard work.

Simple plans are easy to say yes to. Keep it light and low-cost.

30 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

30 tips that really help

These ideas come from Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), Platonic (Marisa Franco), How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Simple wins

A short, easy plan feels friendly and safe. Big or long plans can scare new friends.

TRY THIS
Think small.

TIP 2

Pick an easy activity

Coffee, a walk, a market, a museum or a short lunch. These are great for talking.

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Choose one.

TIP 3

Keep it short

One to two hours is perfect for a first meet. You can always stay longer.

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Set a length.

TIP 4

Keep cost low

Free or cheap plans remove money worries. Walks and parks are lovely.

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Go cheap.

TIP 5

Match their interests

If they love books, try a bookshop. Personal plans feel caring.

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Think of them.

TIP 6

Choose an activity with a focus

Doing something together gives you things to talk about. It lowers pressure.

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Pick an activity.

TIP 7

Say what to expect

Tell them roughly what will happen. Surprises can worry new friends.

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Be clear.

TIP 8

Have a backup

If it rains, move indoors. A backup shows planning and care.

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Plan B.

TIP 9

Be open to ideas

Ask, is there something you would prefer? Shared plans feel fair.

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Ask.

TIP 10

Include a break

A drink or a seat gives rest. Comfort matters.

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Add a pause.

TIP 11

Keep phones away

Put phones in pockets. Presence is a gift.

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Be present.

TIP 12

End on a high

Finish while it is fun. Leave them wanting more.

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Close well.

TIP 13

Script: simple offer

Let us take a walk in the park and then grab a coffee. Say it warmly.

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Use it.

TIP 14

Script: light

Just coffee and a chat, nothing fancy. Say it lightly.

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Use it.

TIP 15

Script: market

There is a lovely market on Saturday, shall we go? Say it brightly.

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Use it.

TIP 16

Script: flexible

We can change it if something else suits you better. Say it kindly.

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Use it.

TIP 17

Script: closing

That was a lovely hour, thanks for joining me. Say it sincerely.

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Use it.

TIP 18

Mistake: planning too much

Packed plans feel tiring, so leave room for chat and rest.

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Keep it loose.

TIP 19

Mistake: choosing a pricey place

Costs can make a new friend uncomfortable, so start cheap.

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Be simple.

TIP 20

Mistake: bringing a crowd without asking

New friends may want one-to-one first, so check before adding people.

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Ask.

TIP 21

Mistake: choosing a place with no quiet corner

You need to hear each other, so choose a calm spot.

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Find calm.

TIP 22

Mistake: hiding the plan until the last minute

Late details cause stress, so share the plan early.

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Share early.

TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when they are shy

Suggest an activity with a focus, like a walk or an exhibition. It eases talk.

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Pick a focus.

TIP 24

Troubleshoot: when it rains

Move to a cafe, a museum or a library. Have a backup ready.

TRY THIS
Plan B.

TIP 25

Troubleshoot: when you have little time

Suggest a twenty-minute coffee. Short is better than nothing.

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Keep it short.

TIP 26

Troubleshoot: when you have kids

Pick a kid-friendly place or ask a friend to help. Plans can include family.

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Be practical.

TIP 27

Troubleshoot: when you feel awkward

Bring a small topic list or ask about their week. Easy openers help.

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Prepare.

TIP 28

Drill: list five simple plans

Write five easy low-cost plans you would enjoy. Offer one.

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Write.

TIP 29

Drill: match a plan to a person

Think of one new friend and pick a plan that fits them. Send the invite.

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Do it.

TIP 30

Drill: debrief

After a meet-up note what worked and what you would change. Improve.

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Write.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

OFFER

“Let us take a walk in the park.”

LIGHT

“Just coffee and a chat.”

FUN

“There is a market on Saturday.”

FLEX

“We can change it if needed.”

THANK

“Thanks for joining me.”

CLOSE

“That was a lovely hour.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Pick an easy activity

DAY 2
Keep it short

DAY 3
Keep cost low

DAY 4
Match their interests

DAY 5
Have a backup

DAY 6
Say what to expect

DAY 7
Enjoy it

Further reading

• Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
• Platonic (Marisa Franco)
• How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.