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Making Friends / How to Follow Up / Lesson 08
LESSON 08 · HOW TO FOLLOW UP

Swap Contact Details Naturally

Thirty-two easy ways to swap contact details naturally, without awkwardness or pressure.

Asking for a number is normal. Keep it light.

28 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan
Start with tip 1
Jump to the 7-day plan

28 tips that really help

These ideas come from Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), Platonic (Marisa Franco), How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

Photo for the tip: It is normal
TIP 1

It is normal

Adults swap details all the time. A friendly ask feels natural when the chat has gone well.

TRY THIS
Relax.
Photo for the tip: Wait for a good moment
TIP 2

Wait for a good moment

Ask after a warm chat, near the end. Do not ask in the first minute.

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Time it.
Photo for the tip: Use a light line
TIP 3

Use a light line

Say, I have enjoyed talking, would you like to stay in touch? Simple and warm.

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Say it.
Photo for the tip: Offer yours first
TIP 4

Offer yours first

Say, here is my number if you ever want to meet. It gives them a choice.

TRY THIS
Offer first.
Photo for the tip: Choose the right app
TIP 5

Choose the right app

Ask which app they like: WhatsApp, Instagram or email. Fit their habits.

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Ask.
Photo for the tip: Use QR codes or phone swap
TIP 6

Use QR codes or phone swap

Let them scan your code or type their number into your phone. Easy and quick.

TRY THIS
Use tech.
Photo for the tip: Send a message right away
TIP 7

Send a message right away

Send a short test message so they have your number. It makes it real.

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Send one.
Photo for the tip: Save their name and a note
TIP 8

Save their name and a note

Add a note such as met at the book club. Memory help.

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Add a note.
Photo for the tip: Respect privacy
TIP 9

Respect privacy

If they hesitate, offer social media instead or say no problem. Respect comes first.

TRY THIS
Be gracious.
Photo for the tip: Ask at events
TIP 10

Ask at events

Ask the host to share a group chat or list if allowed. Many events do.

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Ask.
Photo for the tip: Use public profiles
TIP 11

Use public profiles

If someone prefers, follow or connect online first. Slow is fine.

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Be flexible.
Photo for the tip: Script: asking
TIP 12

Script: asking

I have enjoyed talking, would you like to stay in touch? Say it warmly.

TRY THIS
Use it.
Photo for the tip: Script: offering
TIP 13

Script: offering

Here is my number if you ever want to meet up. Say it lightly.

TRY THIS
Use it.
Photo for the tip: Script: app
TIP 14

Script: app

Are you on WhatsApp or do you prefer something else? Say it casually.

TRY THIS
Use it.
Photo for the tip: Script: confirming
TIP 15

Script: confirming

Let me send you a quick message so you have my number. Say it kindly.

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Use it.
Photo for the tip: Script: closing
TIP 16

Script: closing

It was lovely to meet you, I will message you soon. Say it sincerely.

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Use it.
Photo for the tip: Mistake: asking too early
TIP 17

Mistake: asking too early

Wait for a real chat first. Give it time.

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Wait.
Photo for the tip: Mistake: pressuring
TIP 18

Mistake: pressuring

If they hesitate, back off kindly. No pressure.

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Respect it.
Photo for the tip: Mistake: sharing too much
TIP 19

Mistake: sharing too much

Share only what you are comfortable with. Safety first.

TRY THIS
Be careful.
Photo for the tip: Mistake: saving with no note
TIP 20

Mistake: saving with no note

You will forget who they are. Add context.

TRY THIS
Add one.
Photo for the tip: Troubleshoot: when they say no
TIP 21

Troubleshoot: when they say no

Smile and say that is fine. Maybe see them again at the event.

TRY THIS
Be gracious.
Photo for the tip: Troubleshoot: when you have no phone
TIP 22

Troubleshoot: when you have no phone

Write your email on a card or use social media. Adapt.

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Adapt.
Photo for the tip: Troubleshoot: when you feel shy
TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when you feel shy

Use the offer-first line. It is easier.

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Offer.
Photo for the tip: Troubleshoot: when safety is a concern
TIP 24

Troubleshoot: when safety is a concern

Use public profiles or a work email. Meet in public places.

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Stay safe.
Photo for the tip: Troubleshoot: when you forget to ask
TIP 25

Troubleshoot: when you forget to ask

Find them later through the host or group. Ask politely.

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Ask the host.
Photo for the tip: Drill: practise the line
TIP 26

Drill: practise the line

Say the ask aloud five times. Make it smooth.

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Practise.
Photo for the tip: Drill: three contacts
TIP 27

Drill: three contacts

Aim to swap details with three people this month. Follow up with each.

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Plan.
Photo for the tip: Drill: set up your QR
TIP 28

Drill: set up your QR

Create a QR code for your contact. Save it.

TRY THIS
Create.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

ASK

“Would you like to stay in touch?”

OFFER

“Shall I give you my number?”

SHARE

“Are you on WhatsApp?”

CONFIRM

“Let me send you a message so you have mine.”

THANK

“Thanks, I will message you.”

CLOSE

“Nice to meet you.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Wait for a good chat
DAY 2
Use a light line
DAY 3
Offer yours first
DAY 4
Pick the right app
DAY 5
Send a test message
DAY 6
Save with a note
DAY 7
Follow up

Further reading

  • Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
  • Platonic (Marisa Franco)
  • How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

← All How to Follow Up lessons
Next lesson: The Same-Day Nice-to-Meet-You Message →

More lessons in “How to Follow Up”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

← Previous: Be the Person Who Makes the First MoveNext: The Same-Day Nice-to-Meet-You Message →

  1. Why Good Chats Fade Without Follow-Up
  2. People Want to Hear From You
  3. The Fear Behind Not Following Up
  4. Following Up Is Kindness, Not Needy
  5. The Twenty-Four-Hour Window
  6. One Message Can Change a Friendship
  7. Be the Person Who Makes the First Move
  8. Swap Contact Details Naturally
  9. The Same-Day Nice-to-Meet-You Message
  10. Mention Something From Your Chat
  11. Send a Photo or Link You Talked About
  12. Suggest a Next Step Lightly
  13. What to Write When You Are Shy
  14. What Not to Write
  15. Keep It Short and Specific
  16. Ask One Easy Question
  17. Use Their Name and Their Words
  18. Send a Voice Note
  19. Send Something Funny
  20. Use Emoji and Tone Wisely
  21. The Message That Never Fails
  22. Suggest a Specific Time and Place
  23. Offer a Simple Plan
  24. Confirm Plans the Day Before
  25. Handle Rescheduling Gracefully
  26. Follow Up After Meeting
  27. Plan the Second Meet-Up Before the First Ends
  28. Thank Them for Their Time
  29. Why People Go Quiet
  30. Wait, Then Send One Gentle Nudge
  31. Do Not Take Silence Personally
  32. Know When to Let Go
  33. Reconnect After Months
  34. Keep the Door Open
  35. Keep a Simple Friendship Notebook
  36. Set Weekly Reminders to Reach Out
  37. Reply Quickly to Messages
  38. Send Little Notes for No Reason
  39. Follow Up on Their News
  40. Your Follow-Up System
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