People Want to Hear From You
Thirty-two easy reasons to believe people want to hear from you, and why your message is a gift.
Most people feel glad to be remembered. Your message may make their day.
26 tips that really help
These ideas come from Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), Platonic (Marisa Franco), How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
People like being thought of
Research on reaching out shows that receivers feel more pleased than senders expect. Your message is welcome.
Trust it.
We guess wrong
Most of us think a message may annoy. In truth, it usually feels warm and kind.
Test it.
Think of a time
Remember when someone reached out to you. How did you feel? Others feel the same.
Recall it.
Everyone feels a bit lonely
Many adults want more friends. Your message may meet a quiet need.
Be kind.
Small notes matter
A short hello shows care. It does not need a big reason.
Send one.
You do not need a big reason
I was thinking of you is enough. Simple and warm.
Use it.
Be sincere
People can feel real care. Say what is true.
Be real.
Keep it light
No heavy topics. A smile, a joke or a memory.
Be easy.
Share a small thing
A photo, a song or a quote that reminds you of them. Easy and sweet.
Share one.
Ask a gentle question
How have you been? invites a reply. Keep it open.
Ask.
Script: thinking of you
I was thinking of you today and wanted to say hi. Say it warmly.
Use it.
Script: sharing
This song made me think of you, I hope you like it. Say it lightly.
Use it.
Script: asking
How have you been lately? I would love to hear. Say it kindly.
Use it.
Script: caring
I hope your week is going well. Say it gently.
Use it.
Script: closing
Let us catch up soon, I miss our chats. Say it sincerely.
Use it.
Mistake: assuming they are too busy
Busy people still enjoy hellos. Send it.
Try.
Mistake: apologising for messaging
Skip sorry to bother you. Say hello.
Drop it.
Mistake: overthinking
Long drafts kill courage. Send a simple one.
Send.
Mistake: expecting a long reply
A short reply is fine. Enjoy it.
Be easy.
Troubleshoot: when you feel awkward
Remind yourself how you would feel receiving it. Send.
Reframe.
Troubleshoot: when it has been years
Say, it has been a while, and I thought of you. Honest and warm.
Be warm.
Troubleshoot: when you worry about being needy
One message is not needy. Keep a light rhythm.
Pace.
Troubleshoot: when you fear rejection
Rejection is rare and survivable. The upside is bigger.
Weigh it.
Drill: send two hellos
Send two small hellos today. Count the warm replies.
Do it.
Drill: keep a smile list
Save kind replies you receive. Read when doubting.
Save.
Drill: thought-of-you habit
When someone crosses your mind, message them. Make it a habit.
Try.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.
“I was thinking of you today.”
“This made me think of you.”
“How have you been?”
“I hope your week is going well.”
“Thanks for answering so warmly.”
“Let us catch up soon.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Believe it
Think of a time
Send a small hello
Be warm
Keep it light
Enjoy the reply
Repeat
Further reading
- Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
- Platonic (Marisa Franco)
- How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “How to Follow Up”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Why Good Chats Fade Without Follow-UpNext: The Fear Behind Not Following Up →
- Why Good Chats Fade Without Follow-Up
- People Want to Hear From You
- The Fear Behind Not Following Up
- Following Up Is Kindness, Not Needy
- The Twenty-Four-Hour Window
- One Message Can Change a Friendship
- Be the Person Who Makes the First Move
- Swap Contact Details Naturally
- The Same-Day Nice-to-Meet-You Message
- Mention Something From Your Chat
- Send a Photo or Link You Talked About
- Suggest a Next Step Lightly
- What to Write When You Are Shy
- What Not to Write
- Keep It Short and Specific
- Ask One Easy Question
- Use Their Name and Their Words
- Send a Voice Note
- Send Something Funny
- Use Emoji and Tone Wisely
- The Message That Never Fails
- Suggest a Specific Time and Place
- Offer a Simple Plan
- Confirm Plans the Day Before
- Handle Rescheduling Gracefully
- Follow Up After Meeting
- Plan the Second Meet-Up Before the First Ends
- Thank Them for Their Time
- Why People Go Quiet
- Wait, Then Send One Gentle Nudge
- Do Not Take Silence Personally
- Know When to Let Go
- Reconnect After Months
- Keep the Door Open
- Keep a Simple Friendship Notebook
- Set Weekly Reminders to Reach Out
- Reply Quickly to Messages
- Send Little Notes for No Reason
- Follow Up on Their News
- Your Follow-Up System
