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Confidence / Making Eye Contact / Lesson 27

LESSON 27 · MAKING EYE CONTACT

Eye Contact When Giving a Speech

Thirty-two ways to use eye contact when giving a speech, so an audience feels you are speaking to each of them.

Speak to people, not to a room. One thought, one face.

40 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

40 tips that really help

These ideas come from What Every BODY Is Saying (Joe Navarro), The Definitive Book of Body Language (Allan and Barbara Pease), Presence (Amy Cuddy), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Speak to people, not to a room

When you give a speech, speak to individuals one at a time. Eye contact turns a speech into a series of small conversations, which feels warmer for them and calmer for you.

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Plan to look at one person per sentence.

TIP 2

One thought, one person

Deliver a whole thought to one person, then move to another for the next thought. It prevents darting eyes and creates real connection.

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Hold each person for a full thought.

TIP 3

Hold three to five seconds

A look of about three to five seconds with one person, long enough to finish a thought, feels natural and calm.

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Count three to five.

TIP 4

Cover the room

Look at people on the left, right, front and back. Everyone feels included, and you avoid fixing on one friendly face.

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Sweep the room as you speak.

TIP 5

Use a W pattern

Zigzag your gaze across the room in a W shape so you cover all areas. It is an easy route to remember.

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Practise the W with chairs at home.

TIP 6

Find friendly faces

Pick a few warm, smiling faces and return to them. They calm you and give you energy.

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Seek out three smiles.

TIP 7

Include the edges

People at the edges often feel forgotten. A glance their way brings them in.

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Look to the corners.

TIP 8

Look at different depths

In a big room, look at the back row, the middle and the front. It covers the space and keeps your voice and gaze reaching everyone.

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Vary the depth of your looks.

TIP 9

Do not rely only on the nodders

Nodding faces give you energy, but a speech is for everyone. Include others too.

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Include quieter faces.

TIP 10

Do not ignore the stern face

Serious faces often mean concentration. Look at them kindly and move on.

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Stay kind.

TIP 11

Do not read from notes

Glance at notes and look up. Do not talk to the paper.

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Look up often.

TIP 12

Do not read from slides

Slides are for the audience. Look at people and use the slide as a quick prompt.

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Face the audience.

TIP 13

Do not look at the floor

Looking down loses connection and weakens your voice. Lift your head.

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Keep your chin up.

TIP 14

Do not look at the ceiling

Looking up looks evasive. Glance sideways if you must think.

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Look sideways.

TIP 15

Do not look at the back wall

It looks like you are avoiding people. Look at faces, not walls.

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Find faces.

TIP 16

Do not stare at one person

Fixed focus can make someone uncomfortable. Move on after a thought.

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Share your attention.

TIP 17

Do not dart

Quick flicks look nervous. Move your gaze slowly and deliberately.

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Slow down.

TIP 18

Pause as you look

A pause with eye contact on a key point is powerful. Silence plus a look says “this matters”.

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Pause and look on your main point.

TIP 19

Look at the audience at the start

Begin with a look before speaking. It settles you and signals that you are glad to be there.

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Look, smile, then speak.

TIP 20

Look at the audience at the end

End with a look and a thank you. It closes warmly and leaves a good impression.

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Finish with eyes up.

TIP 21

Use eye contact in Q and A

Look at the person asking, then include others as you answer. It keeps the whole room engaged.

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Look at the asker, then the room.

TIP 22

Acknowledge the chair

If there is a chair or host, acknowledge them with a look. Courtesy builds goodwill.

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Include them.

TIP 23

On video

Look at the lens and glance at faces. It feels like eye contact.

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Look at the camera.

TIP 24

In small groups

With a small group, treat it like a conversation. Share looks gently.

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Include all.

TIP 25

In big groups

Choose sections and speak to each. It makes a large audience feel human.

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Divide the room.

TIP 26

With a microphone

Hold the mic steadily and keep your head up. Do not hide behind it.

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Head up.

TIP 27

With a lectern

Do not hide behind it. If possible, step out to the side.

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Step beside it.

TIP 28

When nervous

Find one friendly face and speak to them. It steadies you. Then move on.

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Pick a friend.

TIP 29

Breathe

A slow breath helps your eyes stay up. Breathe at pauses.

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Breathe at the end of each thought.

TIP 30

Smile

A smile at the start sets a warm tone and relaxes you.

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Smile.

TIP 31

Use your hands

Open gestures help you look natural and keep your eyes up.

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Use gestures.

TIP 32

Practise with friends

Present to two or three friends and practise sharing looks. Ask how it felt.

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Practise.

TIP 33

Practise with empty chairs

Imagine people in chairs and look at each. It builds the habit before the real day.

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Do it at home.

TIP 34

Practise with a recording

Watch yourself speak. Where do your eyes go?

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Record yourself.

TIP 35

Practise with a mirror

Look into your own eyes while speaking. Build comfort.

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Mirror.

TIP 36

Prepare first and last looks

Decide in advance who you will look at for your first and last lines. It removes much of the fear.

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Choose two faces.

TIP 37

Take a mini-audience approach

If a large room feels overwhelming, divide it into five small groups in your mind and speak to each in turn.

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Split the room into zones.

TIP 38

Celebrate connection

When people smile back, enjoy it. Their warmth is your reward.

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Note a smile.

TIP 39

Keep a "return home" point

If you lose your place or your nerve while speaking, return your eyes to your friendliest face and breathe. Knowing where to go when things wobble makes you calmer in the first place.

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Choose your home face before you begin.

TIP 40

Make the end of each thought a look

At the end of every thought, look at someone for a beat before you start the next. It gives the room time to absorb your point and gives you a tiny rest.

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Land each thought with a look.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.

OPEN

“Good morning, everyone, thank you for being here.”

STORY

“Let me tell you what happened last year.”

PAUSE

“Take a moment to think about that.”

ASK

“How many of you have felt this way?”

THANK

“Thank you for listening so warmly.”

“That is what I wanted to leave you with.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Find friendly faces

DAY 2
Speak one thought per person

DAY 3
Scan the whole room

DAY 4
Pause and look

DAY 5
Look up from your notes

DAY 6
Rehearse out loud

DAY 7
Record and review

More lessons in “Making Eye Contact”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

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