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Confidence / Making Eye Contact / Lesson 23

LESSON 23 · MAKING EYE CONTACT

Job Interviews and Eye Contact

Thirty-two ways to use eye contact in job interviews, where steady warmth earns trust and credibility.

Interviewers watch for confidence and honesty. Your eyes can help you show both.

40 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

40 tips that really help

These ideas come from What Every BODY Is Saying (Joe Navarro), The Definitive Book of Body Language (Allan and Barbara Pease), Presence (Amy Cuddy), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Interviewers watch for confidence and honesty

In an interview, your eye contact helps the interviewer judge confidence, interest and sincerity. Studies of interviews have long found that appropriate eye contact tends to go with more favourable impressions.

TRY THIS
Plan to look at the interviewer steadily but softly.

TIP 2

Begin with a warm look

Start with eye contact, a smile and a handshake as you enter. A confident greeting sets the tone for everything after it.

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Practise your greeting with a look at the mirror.

TIP 3

Look while you listen

When the interviewer asks a question, look at them. It shows you are focused, and it helps you hear the question fully.

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Hold a soft look through the whole question.

TIP 4

Glance away to think

It is fine to glance away briefly as you think about your answer, then return and answer with a look. Interviewers expect it.

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Allow yourself one glance away before you answer.

TIP 5

Look as you begin and end your answer

A look at the start says “I am speaking to you”. A look at the end says “that is my point”. The middle can flex.

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Look at the start and end of every answer.

TIP 6

Hold your look on key lines

When you state your main achievement, hold a steady look. It adds weight and shows you believe what you say.

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Mark your top achievement and plan to look as you say it.

TIP 7

Scene: a panel interview

Three interviewers face you. Look at the person who asks the question, then share your answer across the panel, returning to the asker at the end.

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Practise sharing your look among three chairs.

TIP 8

Scene: a one-to-one interview

With one interviewer, use a soft rhythm: look while listening, glance away to think, look as you answer. It feels like a natural conversation.

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Rehearse with a friend as the interviewer.

TIP 9

Scene: a video interview

Look at the camera when you answer and at the screen when you listen. Raise your laptop so the camera is at eye level.

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Test your camera position the day before.

TIP 10

Scene: a phone interview

There is no eye contact, so smile, sit up and imagine the interviewer’s face. Your voice carries your warmth.

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Smile as you answer on the phone.

TIP 11

Scene: an assessment centre

Between tasks you will meet many people. Use warm looks and names with everyone, not just the assessors.

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Greet each person with a look.

TIP 12

Use a soft focus

If looking into eyes feels intense, rest your gaze on the bridge of the nose or the brow. Interviewers will read it as steady eye contact.

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Practise the brow gaze for your next mock interview.

TIP 13

Blink and breathe

Natural blinking and slow breathing keep your look soft. A fixed stare feels intense, and a held breath tightens your voice.

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Breathe out slowly between answers.

TIP 14

Smile appropriately

A friendly smile at the start, at a pleasant moment and at the end makes you likeable. Do not smile constantly or nervously.

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Smile when it fits the moment.

TIP 15

Nod while listening

Small nods show engagement without interrupting. Combine them with a calm look.

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Nod once at each point they make.

TIP 16

Avoid staring

A fixed, unblinking stare can feel aggressive. Keep your look soft and let it move naturally.

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Soften your eyes if you notice a stare.

TIP 17

Avoid looking at the floor

Looking down too much may suggest low confidence. Lift your chin a few degrees.

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Raise your chin slightly.

TIP 18

Avoid looking at the ceiling

Looking up for answers can seem evasive. If you need to think, glance to the side.

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Look sideways when you think.

TIP 19

Avoid scanning the room

Looking around suggests distraction. Keep your attention on the interviewer.

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Stay with the person.

TIP 20

Avoid relying on notes

Glance at notes if you must, but do not read them. Speak to the people, not to paper.

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Memorise your three key points.

TIP 21

Prepare your stories so your eyes are free

When you know your examples well, you do not need to search for words, so your eyes can stay with the interviewer. Preparation frees your gaze.

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Rehearse five stories aloud.

TIP 22

Use the STAR shape

Many interviewers like answers in the shape Situation, Task, Action, Result. A clear shape lets you look up instead of hunting for words.

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Write one STAR story for each key skill.

TIP 23

Practise with a friend

Ask a friend to ask you questions and watch your eyes. Their feedback will show you habits you cannot see.

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Do a ten-minute mock interview.

TIP 24

Practise with a recording

Record yourself answering and watch where your eyes go. You may be surprised at how good you look.

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Record one answer and watch it twice.

TIP 25

Practise your opening and close

Rehearse the first thirty seconds and the last thirty seconds most, because first and last impressions linger.

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Rehearse your greeting and thank-you.

TIP 26

Treat the interviewer as a future colleague

Imagine you already work with this person and are discussing the job. It warms your eyes and makes eye contact feel natural, not like a test.

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Picture a friendly colleague in the interviewer’s chair.

TIP 27

Handle a stern interviewer

Some interviewers look serious. Stay calm, keep a kind look and do not mirror sternness. Many people are simply concentrating.

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Keep your face friendly even if theirs is stern.

TIP 28

Handle a distracted interviewer

If they look at their screen, wait patiently and resume your look when they look up. Do not take it personally.

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Pause calmly while they read.

TIP 29

Handle a nervous interviewer

Some interviewers are nervous too. A warm look and a smile help them relax and improve the whole conversation.

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Be warm to a nervous interviewer.

TIP 30

Handle a tough question

Take a breath, glance away briefly, return your look and answer calmly. A composed pause impresses more than a rushed reply.

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Practise a calm pause before a hard question.

TIP 31

Arrive early

A calm arrival helps your eyes and nerves. Rushing in makes your eyes dart.

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Plan to arrive ten minutes early.

TIP 32

Sleep well

Tired eyes are harder to control. A good night’s sleep helps you look alert.

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Protect your sleep the night before.

TIP 33

Warm up before you go in

Take three slow breaths, relax your face and smile once. It prepares your eyes for a warm look.

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Do a thirty-second warm-up in the lobby.

TIP 34

Close with a final look

At the end, look at each interviewer, say thank you and smile. A warm, steady close leaves a positive last impression.

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Plan your closing look and thank-you line.

TIP 35

Follow up in writing

A short thank-you email reinforces your interest and helps you stand out. Mention one thing you enjoyed discussing.

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Draft your thank-you in advance.

TIP 36

Reflect after

Within an hour, note what went well and one thing to improve. Each interview is practice for the next.

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Write two lines after every interview.

TIP 37

Be kind to yourself

Interviews are stressful, and the outcome depends on many things beyond your eyes. Do your best and let it go.

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Say, “I did my best.”

TIP 38

Celebrate the effort

Showing up, preparing and looking at people while nervous is a real achievement. Be proud of it.

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Plan a small reward for after your interview.

TIP 39

Ask your questions with a look

At the end, ask your prepared questions while looking at the interviewer. Curiosity and eye contact together show real interest in the job.

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Prepare two questions and ask them with your eyes up.

TIP 40

Keep your look kind during silences

If there is a pause after your answer, keep a calm, friendly look instead of rushing to fill the silence. Composure in silence shows confidence.

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Count to three in silence with a soft look.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.

GREET

“Thank you for having me today.”

ANSWER

“Let me give you an example of that.”

THINK

“That is a good question, let me think.”

ASK

“What does success look like in this role?”

THANK

“Thank you for your time.”

“I am very excited about this opportunity.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Practise with a friend

DAY 2
Look at each interviewer

DAY 3
Hold a steady gaze when answering

DAY 4
Glance away to think

DAY 5
Smile warmly

DAY 6
End with a look

DAY 7
Review the recording

More lessons in “Making Eye Contact”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

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