Be Independent and Honest
Forty practical ways to be independent and honest, so customers see you as their advocate and not only a seller.
Independence earns trust. Be on the customer’s side.
40 tips that really help
These ideas come from The Trusted Advisor (David Maister, Charles Green and Robert Galford), Influence (Robert Cialdini), They Ask, You Answer (Marcus Sheridan), and Getting to Yes (Roger Fisher and William Ury), and everyday practice. The first six help the most. Pick one and try it today.
Why independence is your strongest asset
Independence means your advice is not bent by your own gain. When customers believe you would say the same thing whether you earned more or less, they listen differently. That belief is worth more than any feature.
Ask yourself of your last three recommendations: would I have said the same if I earned the same either way? Note any that fail the test.
Say who pays you
One of the simplest acts of honesty is to say who pays you. It takes ten seconds. Every customer wonders how a seller earns. When you answer before they ask, you show courage.
Prepare a short, honest sentence about how you are paid. Say it in your next first meeting, before the customer asks.
Tell them what you gain
A trusted advisor tells the customer what they gain from a choice. ‘I should tell you that I earn a little more on this one.’ It sounds risky, but the customer trusts you more, since you did not hide it.
Next time you recommend something where you gain, say it: ‘I should tell you that I gain from this, and here is why I still recommend it.’
Compare fairly, even when it hurts
A fair comparison shows where your own product loses too. It can hurt to say, ‘They are cheaper.’ But the customer sees that you tell the truth, and believes the rest.
Make a comparison table that includes one competitor. Mark honestly where they are stronger than you. Share it with a customer who is choosing.
Recommend the best fit, not the best margin
Every product has a margin, and some earn more than others. If you steer customers to the high-margin one whatever their need, you have crossed a line. Recommend the best fit.
Look at your last ten recommendations. Mark which were best fit, and which were best margin. Note any that were not the same.
Say no to the wrong customer
Not every customer is the right customer. A wrong customer often costs more than they pay: in time, refunds and damaged reputation. A kind no protects both sides.
Describe your ideal customer in three lines, and your wrong customer in three lines. Practise a kind no for the wrong one.
Let evidence lead your advice
Opinions are easy. Evidence is harder, and much more reliable. When you let evidence lead, customers can follow your thinking and check it. Your advice rests on something solid.
For your next recommendation, find one piece of evidence that supports it, and one that challenges it. Share both with the customer.
Stand firm when your boss pushes
Sometimes pressure on your independence comes from a boss, a target or a campaign. Stand firm, politely. Explain with facts, and offer a way to meet the aim without harming the customer.
Decide in advance what you will not do, even under pressure. Write three lines. Keep them where you can see them.
Be seen as their advocate
An advocate speaks for someone else. When a customer sees you as their advocate, they believe you are on their side. You help them find the best path, even if it is not the most profitable.
Say to one customer this week, ‘My aim is to help you to find what is best for you, even if it is not us.’ Then act on it.
Build a name for fairness
Over time, all your choices add up to a name. ‘Fair’ is one of the best words you can earn. It is built slowly, one honest act at a time, and can be lost in a day.
Ask three customers or colleagues, ‘What would you say I am known for?’ Note whether ‘fair’ comes up, and what you could do to earn it.
Keep your word on neutrality
If you promise to be neutral, you must be. Customers hold you to it. If they see you slip even once, they may stop believing the rest. Neutrality takes attention, honesty and courage.
Before you tell a customer ‘I will be neutral’, check that you can do it. If you cannot, say what your limits are instead.
Ask for scrutiny
It takes courage to say, ‘Please check what I say.’ A seller who invites scrutiny shows that they have nothing to hide. The customer feels free, and often trusts you more.
Next time you give a key claim or a price, say, ‘Please check this against others.’ Give them one place to look.
Document decisions
When you make a recommendation, write down why: the facts, the options and your reasons. It shows your advice was based on the customer’s need. It also protects you and helps you think straight.
After your next recommendation, write a five-line record: their need, the options, your choice, your reasons and any interest you had.
Disclose commissions
If you are paid a commission, say so. ‘I earn a commission when you buy this.’ Customers usually suspect it, and your openness removes the doubt. Say how it does, or does not, affect your advice.
Write one honest sentence about your commission, and how you handle it. Say it before your next recommendation.
Disclose partnerships
Business is full of partnerships. If any could influence your advice, tell the customer. A partnership is not wrong in itself. Hiding it is. Then the customer can judge for themselves.
List every partnership or referral arrangement you have. Prepare one clear sentence for each, to share when relevant.
Disclose past work with competitors
You may have worked for a competitor in the past. This history can help, but it can raise questions. Be open about it: ‘I used to work for them, and here is what I learned.’
List any past work with competitors that is relevant. Prepare an honest sentence about it, for customers who ask or would care.
Admit when you benefit from a choice
Sometimes a choice helps you directly: it hits your target or saves you work. If the customer’s best choice also benefits you, say so. It shows you can see your own interest, and do not let it hide.
Next time a recommendation helps you too, say, ‘This also helps me, and I would still recommend it, for your sake.’ Notice the reaction.
Offer to step back from a decision
Sometimes the most honest thing is to step back. If your interest is strong, say, ‘Perhaps someone else should advise you on this one.’ It shows you value the customer’s trust above any single decision.
Think of a type of decision where you cannot be fully neutral. Prepare to say, ‘Please get a second view on this one,’ and name where.
Share the other side's best points
When you compare, be generous. Share the best points of the other side: ‘They are very strong on this, and here is why.’ It shows you see clearly and are not afraid of the truth.
For your main competitor, write their three best points in fair, plain words. Be ready to share them with a customer who asks.
Make your comparison table public
A comparison table kept private is doubted. A public one, with clear, fair information, shows confidence. It invites scrutiny, and saves your team from defending comparisons one by one.
Create a one-page comparison with two rivals and yourself, using facts and sources. Ask a customer to read it and say whether it feels fair.
Praise a competitor honestly
It feels strange to praise a competitor. But if they do something well and you say so, customers see you are secure, and that your praise for yourself can be trusted too.
Find one thing a competitor does really well. Say it honestly to a customer, with no ‘but’ attached, and notice the reaction.
Explain why you recommend what you recommend
A recommendation without a reason is only an order. When you explain why, you open your thinking. The customer can see what you value and what facts you used, and can spot any gap.
For each recommendation this week, say aloud the reasons before the customer asks. Name two facts and one value that led you there.
Do not hide behind jargon
Jargon can be a hiding place. If the customer does not understand, they cannot judge your advice, and that is not independence. Plain words invite scrutiny.
Review your last proposal. Underline every technical word. Replace each with a plain one, or explain it once.
Use independent tests
When you say your product is good, the customer may wonder. When an independent test says so, the doubt shrinks. Use such tests honestly, including results that are less flattering.
Find one independent test, survey or review of your product. Share it with a customer, with the source and the date.
Let customers check your claims
Every claim you make is a promise that can be tested. A trusted advisor makes checking easy: ‘Here is how you can check this.’ When you make it easy, you show confidence.
For each of your three biggest claims, write one simple way a customer could check it. Share these ways when you make the claim.
Send business to a rival when it is right
Sometimes a rival is the right choice for a customer. The strongest form of independence is to send the business to them. It costs a sale today and earns a friend for life.
Think of a type of customer who is better served by a rival. Prepare to refer them, kindly, and in some cases to introduce them.
Refuse gifts that could bias you
Gifts can quietly change our judgement. A lunch, a ticket, a present from a supplier may tilt our advice without our noticing. A trusted advisor politely refuses gifts that could bias them.
Write your own gift rule in two lines: what you accept, and what you decline. Prepare a polite way to say no.
Keep your advice free of quotas
Sales quotas can bend advice, especially at the end of the month. Ask yourself, ‘Would I say this in the first week of the month?’ If not, the quota is speaking, not you.
At the end of your next month, test every recommendation with this question: ‘Would I say this in the first week?’ Change any that fail.
Separate advice from selling
Advice asks, ‘What is best for you?’ Selling asks, ‘What can I get you to buy?’ A trusted advisor keeps them separate, and tells the customer which one they are doing.
In your next meeting, say aloud when you move from advice to selling. ‘Now I will tell you what we offer, and you can judge it.’
Say "this is my opinion"
A fact can be checked. An opinion is a view. A trusted advisor labels each clearly: ‘This is my opinion, and others may differ.’ It respects the customer’s right to disagree.
For one meeting, label what you say: ‘This is a fact’ or ‘This is my opinion.’ Notice how it changes the talk.
Say "this is a fact"
When you are sure of a fact, say so, with its source. ‘The contract lasts three years, and the fact comes from page four.’ Clear facts let the customer build on solid ground.
Choose three key facts about your offer. Check each against a source, and say them with the source in your next meeting.
Show how your pricing is built
A price that appears from nowhere raises suspicion. If you show how it is built, the mystery goes. This transparency says you have nothing to hide, and shows where value lies.
Break your standard price into four parts and write them in plain words. Share the breakdown with the next customer who asks about price.
Advocate for the customer inside your firm
A true advocate speaks for the customer inside their own firm. ‘This customer deserves a fair answer. Let us fix this.’ It can be uncomfortable, but it is where trust is proved.
When a customer has a fair request, argue for it inside your firm this week. Prepare facts, and say, ‘This is the right thing to do.’
Refuse unethical requests from clients
Sometimes a customer asks for something that is not right: hiding information or bending a rule. A trusted advisor says no, even to a good customer. Independence is only real if it holds when tested.
Decide in advance what you will not do for any customer. Write three lines. Prepare a calm sentence to decline.
Refuse unethical requests from bosses
It is harder to refuse your boss than a customer. But if a boss asks you to mislead a customer or hide a risk, your integrity travels with you. You will have many bosses, but only one name.
Find out where your firm’s ethics policy, and a safe way to raise concerns, can be found. Note them now, before you need them.
Walk away from a deal that harms them
Some deals look good on paper but would harm the customer: a poor fit, a trap or a price they cannot afford. A trusted advisor walks away. It costs the sale, and keeps the name.
Define three red flags that would make you walk away from a deal. Write them down, and use them to check your next deals.
Keep a code of conduct
A code of conduct is a short list of your promises. Seven lines is enough: ‘I tell the truth. I disclose my interests. I recommend what fits.’ Keep it in view, and share it with customers.
Write a seven-line personal code of conduct. Put it on your desk, and show it to one customer or colleague this week.
Report conflicts of interest
A conflict of interest is when your gain could pull against your duty to the customer. They are common, and not shameful. What matters is that you report them early, to the right people.
Write down any current conflicts, big or small. Report them to your manager or the proper office, and agree how to handle each.
Treat all customers equally
Equal treatment is a strong proof of fairness. If a small customer gets the same honest advice as a large one, people notice. Your values do not depend on the size of the deal.
Review your last month. Did a small customer get the same honesty and care as a large one? Fix any gap this week.
Be seen as a guide, not a pusher
A pusher pulls the customer towards a sale. A guide walks beside them towards their goal. All the tips in this lesson lead here, and a guide is invited back, again and again.
Before your next meeting, ask: ‘Am I going to guide or to push?’ Choose one question that serves their goal, and begin there.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many sales conversations.
“That product is not right for you, but this one might be.”
“Here is how the options differ.”
“I earn a commission, and that does not change my advice.”
“Would you like a second opinion?”
“Thanks for trusting me.”
“Come back anytime.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
List where your interests and theirs differ
Disclose one thing honestly
Compare options fairly
Recommend a competitor once if it fits
Ask for a second opinion
Review your advice habits
Share your principles
Further reading
- How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie)
- The Go-Giver (Bob Burg and John David Mann)
- The Trusted Advisor (David Maister and others)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
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Start freeThese lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.
More lessons in “Build Trust That Lasts”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Tell Customers What You Would DoNext: Think Long Term, Not This Month →
- Smile Like You Mean It
- Use Their Name the Right Way
- Find Common Ground Fast
- Match Their Pace and Energy
- Small Talk That Opens Doors
- Be Interested, Not Just Interesting
- The First Five Minutes Checklist
- Do What You Say You Will Do
- Be Honest About What You Cannot Do
- Share Bad News Early
- Admit a Mistake and Fix It Fast
- Give Before You Ask
- Show Proof Instead of Making Claims
- Keep Promises Small and Real
- Be an Expert Who Teaches
- Give Free Value That Matters
- Recommend What Is Right, Even If It Is Smaller
- Tell Customers What You Would Do
- Be Independent and Honest
- Think Long Term, Not This Month
- Make Customers Smarter
- Open Posture, Open Mind
- The Right Amount of Eye Contact
- A Voice That Feels Safe
- Mirror Without Mimicking
- Dress for the Customer You Serve
- Make Video Calls Feel Personal
- Read Signs of Discomfort
- Remember the Small Details
- Send the Unexpected Thank-You
- Check In Without Selling
- Celebrate Their Wins
- Introduce People to Each Other
- Build a Simple Relationship System
- What to Do When You Make a Mistake
- A Sincere Apology That Works
- Turn an Angry Customer Into a Fan
- Rebuild Trust After a Missed Deadline
- When a Customer Doubts You
- Rise Above Gossip and Reviews
