Making Friends / How to Follow Up / Lesson 35

LESSON 35 · HOW TO FOLLOW UP

Keep a Simple Friendship Notebook

Thirty-two easy ways to keep a friendship notebook, a simple tool that helps you remember what matters to people.

A little note makes a big difference. Memory is a form of love.

30 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

30 tips that really help

These ideas come from Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), Platonic (Marisa Franco), How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Why it helps

We cannot remember everything. A simple notebook helps you recall birthdays, plans and worries so your care shows up on time.

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Start one.

TIP 2

Choose your format

A paper notebook, a notes app or a spreadsheet works. Pick the one you will use.

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Choose one.

TIP 3

List your friends

Write names of the people you care about. Start with ten.

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List them.

TIP 4

Note key facts

Jobs, pets, kids, hobbies and where you met. Short lines.

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Add facts.

TIP 5

Record important dates

Birthdays, anniversaries and big events. Add reminders in your phone.

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Add dates.

TIP 6

Note what they shared

Write worries, wins and plans after chats. Next time, you can ask about them.

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Jot notes.

TIP 7

Note preferences

Favourite food, drink or music. It helps when planning.

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Add likes.

TIP 8

Note last contact

Write the date you last talked. It shows who needs a hello.

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Track it.

TIP 9

Note ideas for gifts

Small gift ideas are easy to forget. Keep a list.

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Write ideas.

TIP 10

Review weekly

Spend five minutes each week looking over the notebook. Choose two people to reach out to.

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Review.

TIP 11

Act on your notes

Send a message, ask a question or make a plan. Notes only help when used.

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Act.

TIP 12

Keep it private

Store it safely. These are personal details.

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Protect it.

TIP 13

Script: recall

How did your exam go last week? Say it with interest.

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Use it.

TIP 14

Script: caring

How is your mother doing after the surgery? Say it gently.

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Use it.

TIP 15

Script: planning

I made a note to call you on Sunday, are you free? Say it kindly.

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Use it.

TIP 16

Script: birthday

Happy birthday! I hope you have a wonderful day. Say it cheerfully.

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Use it.

TIP 17

Script: closing

Thanks for telling me, I will keep you in mind. Say it sincerely.

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Use it.

TIP 18

Mistake: making it too complicated

Complex notes get abandoned, so keep it light and simple.

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Simplify.

TIP 19

Mistake: writing private things carelessly

Others might see them, so keep them safe.

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Protect.

TIP 20

Mistake: using it like a spy file

Notes are for care, never for control, so use them kindly.

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Be respectful.

TIP 21

Mistake: never reviewing

Notes unread do nothing, so schedule a weekly look.

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Review.

TIP 22

Mistake: forgetting to update

Old facts mislead, so update after chats.

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Update.

TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when you dislike writing

Use voice notes or a simple list on your phone. Anything works.

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Use audio.

TIP 24

Troubleshoot: when you have many friends

Start with your close ten, then add. Do not try for everyone.

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Start small.

TIP 25

Troubleshoot: when you forget to open it

Link it to a habit, like Sunday coffee. Set a reminder.

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Set one.

TIP 26

Troubleshoot: when you feel it is fake

It is a tool for care, like a diary for love. Real feelings remain.

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Reframe.

TIP 27

Troubleshoot: when you share a device

Use a password or a private note app. Keep notes safe.

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Lock it.

TIP 28

Drill: write ten names

List ten friends and one fact each tonight. Add dates.

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Do it.

TIP 29

Drill: five-minute Sunday review

Every Sunday review for five minutes and pick two people to contact. Repeat.

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Start.

TIP 30

Drill: log last contact

Add last-contact dates for five friends. Reach out to the longest gap.

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Log.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

RECORD

“I wrote down your birthday.”

RECALL

“How did your exam go?”

ASK

“How is your mother doing?”

PLAN

“I made a note to call you.”

THANK

“Thanks for telling me.”

CLOSE

“I remembered, and I care.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Choose a notebook

DAY 2
List your friends

DAY 3
Note key facts

DAY 4
Record dates

DAY 5
Add small details

DAY 6
Review weekly

DAY 7
Act on notes

Further reading

• Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
• Platonic (Marisa Franco)
• How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.