Making Friends / How to Start a Conversation / Lesson 02

LESSON 02 · HOW TO START A CONVERSATION

The Weather, the Venue, the Day

Thirty-two easy ways to start a chat with the weather, the venue or the day, the safest openers in the world.

Everyone shares the weather. It is the easiest door into a chat.

30 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

30 tips that really help

These ideas come from The Fine Art of Small Talk (Debra Fine), How to Talk to Anyone (Leil Lowndes), We Need to Talk (Celeste Headlee), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Shared things are safe things

Weather, place and time are things you both see, so there is no risk in mentioning them. They make a gentle first step.

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Use one today.

TIP 2

Start with the weather

Say, what lovely sunshine today, or this rain is something. Weather is neutral and almost everyone has an opinion.

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Try it.

TIP 3

Add a question to the weather

Say, do you enjoy this kind of weather? A question turns a comment into a conversation.

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Ask one.

TIP 4

Start with the venue

Say, have you been to this place before? People like to share what they know about a place.

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Try it.

TIP 5

Comment on something nice about the place

Say, I love the music here, or the light in this room is lovely. Positive comments invite smiles.

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Notice one thing.

TIP 6

Start with the day

Say, how is your day going so far? It is friendly and open, and people answer it honestly.

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Use it.

TIP 7

Start with the event

Say, what brought you to this event? Everyone has a reason, and it opens a story.

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Ask it.

TIP 8

Use a warm voice

A friendly tone matters more than the words. Smile, slow down and breathe.

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Smile first.

TIP 9

Make light eye contact

A quick look and a smile tell them you are friendly. Look away and back.

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Look kindly.

TIP 10

Keep the opener short

One short sentence is enough. Long openers feel heavy.

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Be brief.

TIP 11

Listen for their reply

Their answer shows you where the chat can go. Listen for a detail.

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Listen.

TIP 12

Move on after a minute

Weather talk is a doorway, not a room. Use their answer to step into something more personal.

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Follow their words.

TIP 13

Script: weather

It is such a lovely day, isn’t it? Say it with a smile.

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Use it.

TIP 14

Script: weather question

Do you enjoy this kind of weather, or are you more of a rainy day person? Say it lightly.

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Use it.

TIP 15

Script: venue

Have you been to this place before? I am new here. Say it warmly.

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Use it.

TIP 16

Script: day

How is your day going so far? Say it kindly.

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Use it.

TIP 17

Script: closing

It was nice chatting with you, enjoy the rest of your day. Say it sincerely.

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Use it.

TIP 18

Mistake: complaining about the weather again and again

Constant complaints make the mood heavy, so add something positive.

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Stay light.

TIP 19

Mistake: stopping after one sentence

A comment alone can end the chat, so add a question.

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Ask next.

TIP 20

Mistake: speaking too quietly or fast

Nerves make us rush, so breathe and slow your voice.

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Slow down.

TIP 21

Mistake: staring at your phone instead

A phone tells people you are busy, so keep it away.

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Look up.

TIP 22

Mistake: using the same opener with everyone

Fresh details feel more genuine, so notice something new each time.

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Be fresh.

TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when they answer briefly

Smile, say thanks and try one more question. Some people are shy or busy.

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Be kind.

TIP 24

Troubleshoot: when you feel awkward

Awkward is normal, so say, I am a bit nervous about starting chats. Honesty is charming.

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Be honest.

TIP 25

Troubleshoot: when it is noisy

Move a bit closer, speak clearly and keep it short. Use gestures and smiles.

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Be clear.

TIP 26

Troubleshoot: when it is a bad-weather day

Share a funny line like at least we have good company. Humour helps.

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Be playful.

TIP 27

Troubleshoot: when English is not your first language

Use simple words and a warm smile. Simple openers work well.

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Keep it plain.

TIP 28

Drill: three weather openers

Write three weather openers in your own style and say them aloud. Use one.

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Write.

TIP 29

Drill: notice three shared things

At your next event notice three things you share with a stranger. Use one.

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Notice.

TIP 30

Drill: one opener a day

Use one safe opener with one person every day this week. Count them.

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Count.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

WEATHER

“Lovely sunshine today, isn’t it?”

VENUE

“Have you been to this place before?”

DAY

“How is your day going so far?”

FOLLOW

“What do you like to do in weather like this?”

THANK

“Nice chatting with you.”

CLOSE

“Enjoy the rest of your day.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Look around

DAY 2
Pick one thing you both share

DAY 3
Say it with a smile

DAY 4
Ask a small question

DAY 5
Listen to the answer

DAY 6
Follow their words

DAY 7
Move to a new topic

Further reading

• The Fine Art of Small Talk (Debra Fine)
• How to Talk to Anyone (Leil Lowndes)
• We Need to Talk (Celeste Headlee)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.