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Sales Skills / Negotiate Without Fear / Lesson 16
LESSON 16 · NEGOTIATE WITHOUT FEAR

Let Them Say "No" First

Practical ways to let them say no first, because a safe no opens the way to a genuine yes.

No is a safe place to start. Give them a comfortable way to refuse.

10 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan
Start with tip 1
Jump to the 7-day plan

10 tips that really help

These ideas come from Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss), Getting to Yes (Roger Fisher and William Ury), Start With No (Jim Camp), and everyday practice. The first six help the most. Pick one and try it today.

Photo for the tip: No is a safe place to start
TIP 1

No is a safe place to start

When people feel they can refuse, they relax and become more open to finding a real solution.

TRY THIS
Give them permission.
Photo for the tip: Rephrase asks so that no is easy
TIP 2

Rephrase asks so that no is easy

Questions like is now a bad time to talk? invite a comfortable no instead of a forced yes.

TRY THIS
Rewrite three questions.
Photo for the tip: Try would it be ridiculous to...
TIP 3

Try would it be ridiculous to...

This soft phrase lowers defences because it invites a no to a modest idea.

TRY THIS
Use it in an email.
Photo for the tip: Welcome a no with warmth
TIP 4

Welcome a no with warmth

Responding kindly to a no shows respect and keeps the conversation going.

TRY THIS
Say thank you for being honest.
Photo for the tip: Follow a no with what would make it work?
TIP 5

Follow a no with what would make it work?

A no often hides a condition, and this question uncovers it.

TRY THIS
Ask calmly.
Photo for the tip: Avoid forcing a yes
TIP 6

Avoid forcing a yes

Pressured agreements are fragile and often fall apart later.

TRY THIS
Hold back.
Photo for the tip: Use no-oriented questions in writing too
TIP 7

Use no-oriented questions in writing too

A line such as would you be against a short call? works well in emails.

TRY THIS
Try it.
Photo for the tip: Do not feel rejected
TIP 8

Do not feel rejected

A no to a question is not a no to you.

TRY THIS
Breathe and continue.
Photo for the tip: Use it throughout the negotiation
TIP 9

Use it throughout the negotiation

Every time pressure rises, offer another safe no.

TRY THIS
Stay patient.
Photo for the tip: Why no helps
TIP 10

Why no helps

Chris Voss notes that people feel safe and in control when they can say no.

TRY THIS
Try it.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many sales conversations.

SAFE

“Would it be ridiculous to ask for a longer term?”

SOFT

“Is now a bad time to talk about this?”

CHOICE

“Are you against reviewing the price?”

RESPECT

“It is fine to say no.”

CHECK

“What would make it work?”

THANKS

“Thank you.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Rephrase asks so no is easy
DAY 2
Use “Would it be ridiculous…”
DAY 3
Welcome a no
DAY 4
Ask what would make it work
DAY 5
Avoid pressure
DAY 6
Notice the relief
DAY 7
Review

Further reading

  • Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss)
  • Getting to Yes (Roger Fisher and William Ury)
  • Start With No (Jim Camp)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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Next lesson: Open-Ended "How" and "What" Questions →

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.

More lessons in “Negotiate Without Fear”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

← Previous: The Power of CalmNext: Open-Ended "How" and "What" Questions →

  1. Know Your Goals and Your Limits
  2. Find Your Best Alternative
  3. Research Their Needs and Pressures
  4. List What You Can Give and What You Need
  5. Set Your Opening Position
  6. Plan Your First Three Sentences
  7. Decide Your Walk-Away Point
  8. What They Say vs What They Need
  9. Ask "Why Is That Important to You?"
  10. Look for Win-Win Trades
  11. Separate the Person From the Problem
  12. Create More Options Before You Decide
  13. Use Fair, Objective Standards
  14. The Pie Is Bigger Than You Think
  15. The Power of Calm
  16. Let Them Say "No" First
  17. Open-Ended "How" and "What" Questions
  18. Use "How Am I Supposed to Do That?"
  19. Mirror and Pause
  20. The Late-Night FM DJ Voice
  21. Let Them Talk Themselves Into It
  22. Never Give a Discount for Free
  23. Trade, Do Not Just Give
  24. Hold Your Price With Confidence
  25. Respond to "That Is Our Budget"
  26. Use Odd and Precise Numbers
  27. Bundle Instead of Cutting Price
  28. When to Walk Away
  29. Handle a Pushy Negotiator
  30. Respond to a Deadline Threat
  31. When They Say "Take It or Leave It"
  32. Deal With Silence and Stalling
  33. Stay Polite When You Are Angry
  34. Negotiate With Someone More Senior
  35. Summarise Every Agreement Out Loud
  36. Put It in Writing the Same Day
  37. Leave Both Sides Feeling Good
  38. Do Not Celebrate Too Soon
  39. Protect the Relationship After the Deal
  40. Learn From Every Negotiation
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