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Sales Skills / Negotiate Without Fear / Lesson 15
LESSON 15 · NEGOTIATE WITHOUT FEAR

The Power of Calm

Practical ways to use the power of calm in a negotiation, because a steady person shapes the whole room.

Calm is leverage. Slow everything down.

10 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan
Start with tip 1
Jump to the 7-day plan

10 tips that really help

These ideas come from Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss), Getting to Yes (Roger Fisher and William Ury), Start With No (Jim Camp), and everyday practice. The first six help the most. Pick one and try it today.

Photo for the tip: Calm influences the whole room
TIP 1

Calm influences the whole room

Emotion is contagious, so a steady person can lower tension and guide the conversation without raising their voice.

TRY THIS
Choose your mood on purpose.
Photo for the tip: Breathe out slowly before speaking
TIP 2

Breathe out slowly before speaking

A long, slow exhale settles your body and gives your thoughts time to organise.

TRY THIS
Practise before each meeting.
Photo for the tip: Speak a little slower
TIP 3

Speak a little slower

Slower speech sounds confident and gives the other side time to listen.

TRY THIS
Reduce your pace by ten percent.
Photo for the tip: Pause before you answer
TIP 4

Pause before you answer

A short silence shows you are thinking, not reacting, and prevents hasty words.

TRY THIS
Count to two.
Photo for the tip: Relax your shoulders and jaw
TIP 5

Relax your shoulders and jaw

Physical tension leaks into your voice and posture, so soften it deliberately.

TRY THIS
Drop your shoulders now.
Photo for the tip: Use a lower, steadier voice
TIP 6

Use a lower, steadier voice

A slightly lower pitch sounds composed and trustworthy.

TRY THIS
Hum before you begin.
Photo for the tip: Ask for a short break when needed
TIP 7

Ask for a short break when needed

Stepping away for five minutes resets emotions and often improves decisions.

TRY THIS
Say may we take five?
Photo for the tip: Do not react to provocation
TIP 8

Do not react to provocation

Hostile remarks often test your composure, and staying calm removes their power.

TRY THIS
Let a comment pass.
Photo for the tip: Keep a friendly face
TIP 9

Keep a friendly face

A gentle smile shows goodwill and keeps the atmosphere human.

TRY THIS
Smile as you listen.
Photo for the tip: Review how you felt afterwards
TIP 10

Review how you felt afterwards

Noting when calm slipped helps you prepare better next time.

TRY THIS
Write two lines.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many sales conversations.

CALM

“Let us take this step by step.”

SLOW

“I would like to think about that.”

PAUSE

“(Breathe.)”

LOW

“I understand your position.”

CHECK

“Am I right?”

THANKS

“Thank you.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Breathe before you speak
DAY 2
Speak a little slower
DAY 3
Pause before responding
DAY 4
Relax your shoulders
DAY 5
Use a low voice
DAY 6
Take a short break if needed
DAY 7
Review

Further reading

  • Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss)
  • Getting to Yes (Roger Fisher and William Ury)
  • Start With No (Jim Camp)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

← All Negotiate Without Fear lessons
Next lesson: Let Them Say "No" First →

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.

More lessons in “Negotiate Without Fear”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

← Previous: The Pie Is Bigger Than You ThinkNext: Let Them Say "No" First →

  1. Know Your Goals and Your Limits
  2. Find Your Best Alternative
  3. Research Their Needs and Pressures
  4. List What You Can Give and What You Need
  5. Set Your Opening Position
  6. Plan Your First Three Sentences
  7. Decide Your Walk-Away Point
  8. What They Say vs What They Need
  9. Ask "Why Is That Important to You?"
  10. Look for Win-Win Trades
  11. Separate the Person From the Problem
  12. Create More Options Before You Decide
  13. Use Fair, Objective Standards
  14. The Pie Is Bigger Than You Think
  15. The Power of Calm
  16. Let Them Say "No" First
  17. Open-Ended "How" and "What" Questions
  18. Use "How Am I Supposed to Do That?"
  19. Mirror and Pause
  20. The Late-Night FM DJ Voice
  21. Let Them Talk Themselves Into It
  22. Never Give a Discount for Free
  23. Trade, Do Not Just Give
  24. Hold Your Price With Confidence
  25. Respond to "That Is Our Budget"
  26. Use Odd and Precise Numbers
  27. Bundle Instead of Cutting Price
  28. When to Walk Away
  29. Handle a Pushy Negotiator
  30. Respond to a Deadline Threat
  31. When They Say "Take It or Leave It"
  32. Deal With Silence and Stalling
  33. Stay Polite When You Are Angry
  34. Negotiate With Someone More Senior
  35. Summarise Every Agreement Out Loud
  36. Put It in Writing the Same Day
  37. Leave Both Sides Feeling Good
  38. Do Not Celebrate Too Soon
  39. Protect the Relationship After the Deal
  40. Learn From Every Negotiation
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