Plan Your First Three Sentences
Practical ways to plan your first three sentences, because a calm, clear start shapes the whole negotiation.
The start sets the tone. Write it down.
10 tips that really help
These ideas come from Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss), Getting to Yes (Roger Fisher and William Ury), Start With No (Jim Camp), and everyday practice. The first six help the most. Pick one and try it today.
Your first sentences set the tone
Opening with warmth and clarity helps both sides relax and focus on solving the problem.
Write three lines.
Begin with appreciation
Thanking them for their time shows respect and lowers tension.
Mean it.
State the purpose of the meeting
A short sentence on what you hope to achieve gives direction.
Keep it simple.
Signal that you want a fair outcome
Saying I would like us both to be happy with this sets a cooperative frame.
Use it early.
Invite their view first
Asking what matters most to them shows respect and gives you information.
Ask an open question.
Avoid starting with demands
Leading with demands triggers defence and shuts down listening.
Save asks for later.
Keep your voice calm
A steady tone helps everyone stay composed.
Slow your pace.
Memorise your opening
Knowing it by heart lets you speak with confidence.
Rehearse it.
Prepare a fallback opening
If the mood changes, have a gentler start ready.
Draft an alternative.
Watch their reaction
Adapt as soon as you see how they respond.
Stay flexible.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many sales conversations.
“Thank you for making time today.”
“I would like us to find an agreement that works for both of us.”
“Let me start by understanding your priorities.”
“Does that sound good?”
“(Breathe.)”
“Thank you.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Write three opening sentences
Make them warm
Make them clear
Practise aloud
Record yourself
Use them
Review
Further reading
- Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss)
- Getting to Yes (Roger Fisher and William Ury)
- Start With No (Jim Camp)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “Negotiate Without Fear”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Set Your Opening PositionNext: Decide Your Walk-Away Point →
- Know Your Goals and Your Limits
- Find Your Best Alternative
- Research Their Needs and Pressures
- List What You Can Give and What You Need
- Set Your Opening Position
- Plan Your First Three Sentences
- Decide Your Walk-Away Point
- What They Say vs What They Need
- Ask "Why Is That Important to You?"
- Look for Win-Win Trades
- Separate the Person From the Problem
- Create More Options Before You Decide
- Use Fair, Objective Standards
- The Pie Is Bigger Than You Think
- The Power of Calm
- Let Them Say "No" First
- Open-Ended "How" and "What" Questions
- Use "How Am I Supposed to Do That?"
- Mirror and Pause
- The Late-Night FM DJ Voice
- Let Them Talk Themselves Into It
- Never Give a Discount for Free
- Trade, Do Not Just Give
- Hold Your Price With Confidence
- Respond to "That Is Our Budget"
- Use Odd and Precise Numbers
- Bundle Instead of Cutting Price
- When to Walk Away
- Handle a Pushy Negotiator
- Respond to a Deadline Threat
- When They Say "Take It or Leave It"
- Deal With Silence and Stalling
- Stay Polite When You Are Angry
- Negotiate With Someone More Senior
- Summarise Every Agreement Out Loud
- Put It in Writing the Same Day
- Leave Both Sides Feeling Good
- Do Not Celebrate Too Soon
- Protect the Relationship After the Deal
- Learn From Every Negotiation
