Confidence / Stopping Overthinking / Lesson 10

LESSON 10 · STOPPING OVERTHINKING

Spot the Thinking Traps

Thirty-two simple ways to spot the thinking traps your mind falls into, so you can step around them.

Minds have habits. Name the trap and step out.

40 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

40 tips that really help

These ideas come from Chatter (Ethan Kross), Don’t Believe Everything You Think (Joseph Nguyen), The Untethered Soul (Michael Singer), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Minds have habits

Cognitive therapy, developed by Aaron Beck and popularised by David Burns in Feeling Good, describes common thinking traps. Learning their names helps you spot them quickly and reduces their hold.

TRY THIS
Read the list once and circle your favourites.

TIP 2

All-or-nothing thinking

Seeing things as perfect or terrible. Look for the middle.

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Find the grey.

TIP 3

Catastrophising

Expecting the worst. Ask for the most likely outcome.

TRY THIS
Write it.

TIP 4

Mind-reading

Assuming you know what others think. Ask or wait for facts.

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Replace with a question.

TIP 5

Fortune-telling

Predicting a bad future. Treat it as a guess.

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Add “maybe”.

TIP 6

Overgeneralising

Using “always” and “never” from one event.

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Use “this time”.

TIP 7

Mental filter

Focusing on one negative and ignoring positives.

TRY THIS
List three positives.

TIP 8

Discounting the positive

Saying “It doesn’t count” about good things.

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Accept a compliment.

TIP 9

Emotional reasoning

“I feel it, so it’s true.” Feelings are information, not proof.

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Separate feeling from fact.

TIP 10

Should statements

“I should be better.” Replace with “I’d like to”.

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Rewrite.

TIP 11

Labelling

“I’m a loser.” Describe the behaviour instead.

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Rewrite.

TIP 12

Personalising

Taking blame for events outside your control.

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Draw a pie of causes.

TIP 13

Blaming

Putting all fault on others. Look for shared factors.

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Be fair.

TIP 14

Magnification and minimisation

Making errors huge and wins small. Balance the scale.

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Reverse the sizes.

TIP 15

Comparing

Judging yourself against others’ highlights.

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Compare to your past self.

TIP 16

Perfectionism

Needing flawless results. Aim for good enough.

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Set a standard.

TIP 17

Hindsight bias

“I should have known.” You didn’t have that information then.

TRY THIS
Say, “I knew then what I knew then.”

TIP 18

Spotlight effect

Believing everyone notices you.

TRY THIS
Test with a friend.

TIP 19

Control fallacy

Feeling responsible for everything or helpless.

TRY THIS
Sort by control.

TIP 20

Name it to tame it

Labelling a trap reduces its power.

TRY THIS
Say “That’s mind-reading.”

TIP 21

Scene: after a text

“They’re mad” -> mind-reading.

TRY THIS
Wait or ask.

TIP 22

Scene: before an exam

“I’ll fail” -> fortune-telling.

TRY THIS
Prepare.

TIP 23

Scene: after a small error

“I’m useless” -> labelling.

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Fix the error.

TIP 24

Scene: after a compliment

“They’re just being nice” -> discounting.

TRY THIS
Say thanks.

TIP 25

Scene: on social media

“Everyone’s happier” -> comparing.

TRY THIS
Log off.

TIP 26

Scene: at work

“I must be perfect” -> perfectionism.

TRY THIS
Aim for good.

TIP 27

Scene: in relationships

“They never listen” -> overgeneralising.

TRY THIS
Give an example.

TIP 28

Scene: when anxious

“Something bad will happen” -> emotional reasoning.

TRY THIS
Check facts.

TIP 29

Scene: after a loss

“It’s all my fault” -> personalising.

TRY THIS
List factors.

TIP 30

Scene: in the morning

“Today will be awful” -> fortune-telling.

TRY THIS
Plan small wins.

TIP 31

Keep a traps card

Write your top three traps and replies.

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Keep it handy.

TIP 32

Catch one a day

Aim to spot one trap daily.

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Note it.

TIP 33

Don't shame yourself

Everyone has these habits.

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Smile.

TIP 34

Practise with a friend

Spot traps in movies or news.

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Try it.

TIP 35

Use your phone note

Capture thoughts and label them.

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Make a note.

TIP 36

Review weekly

See your common ones.

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Look back.

TIP 37

Change gradually

Replace one trap at a time.

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Pick one.

TIP 38

Celebrate catches

Each catch is progress.

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Mark it.

TIP 39

Seek help

CBT is well-researched for these habits.

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Consider it.

TIP 40

Close with awareness

Say, “That’s a trap, not the truth.”

TRY THIS
Write it.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.

SPOT

“I think I am in a thinking trap.”

NAME

“This is all-or-nothing thinking.”

CHECK

“Is there a middle way?”

REFRAME

“It may be partly good and partly hard.”

CHOOSE

“I will look at the facts.”

CLOSE

“I see a clearer picture now.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Learn the common traps

DAY 2
Catch yours

DAY 3
Name the trap

DAY 4
Ask what is fair

DAY 5
Find the middle

DAY 6
Use a kinder word

DAY 7
Practise daily

Further reading

• Chatter (Ethan Kross)
• Don’t Believe Everything You Think (Joseph Nguyen)
• The Untethered Soul (Michael Singer)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.