Ask "Is It True?"
Thirty-two easy ways to ask “Is it true?”, the simple question that breaks most worried thoughts.
A thought is not a fact. Ask one question and see.
40 tips that really help
These ideas come from Chatter (Ethan Kross), Don’t Believe Everything You Think (Joseph Nguyen), The Untethered Soul (Michael Singer), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
A thought is not a fact
Your mind produces thoughts all day, and many are guesses, fears or old habits. Asking “Is it true?” brings a pause between the thought and your reaction. Byron Katie’s well-known method begins with exactly this question.
Pick a thought and ask, “Is it true?”
Ask a second question: can I be 100% sure?
Very few worries survive this. Most thoughts have some doubt in them.
Rate your certainty from 0 to 100.
Ask: what's the evidence for?
List facts that support the thought. Only facts count, not feelings.
Write the evidence.
Ask: what's the evidence against?
List facts that contradict it. Both lists give a balanced view.
Write at least two.
Ask: what would I tell a friend?
We are often kinder to friends. Use that voice.
Say it aloud.
Ask: what's another explanation?
There’s almost always more than one way to read events.
Write three.
Ask: what's the worst, best and most likely outcome?
The most likely outcome is usually ordinary.
Write all three.
Ask: how will I see this in a year?
Time changes perspective.
Imagine next year.
Ask: how do I feel when I believe it?
Beliefs that bring constant distress deserve scrutiny.
Notice your feeling.
Ask: who would I be without it?
Imagine your day without this thought.
Picture it.
Turn it around
Try the opposite or a different angle: “I’m a failure” becomes “I’m someone who sometimes fails and learns.”
Write a turnaround.
Use the courtroom
Put the thought on trial: prosecutor, defence, judge. A fair trial reveals weak evidence.
Write a mini trial.
Use the percentages
If you think “Everyone will laugh”, ask “How many, really?”
Estimate numbers.
Use the reality check
Ask someone you trust. Their view is often calmer.
Ask a friend.
Use the past
Think of previous worries that did not happen. Most didn’t.
List three.
Use the facts-only rule
Describe the event as a camera would record it.
Write camera facts.
Use the "maybe" word
“Maybe I’m wrong” opens a door.
Add “maybe”.
Use the pause
Wait before reacting; the thought often loses strength.
Count to ten.
Use a worksheet
Thought, evidence for, evidence against, balanced thought. Cognitive therapy uses this daily.
Make one.
Scene: "They're upset with me"
Facts: they didn’t reply. Alternatives: they’re busy. Balanced: I don’t know yet.
Wait for facts.
Scene: "I'm going to fail"
Facts: I’ve prepared. Past: I passed before. Balanced: I may find it hard but can cope.
Write it.
Scene: "I'm too old/young"
Facts: others have succeeded at my age.
Find one example.
Scene: "I always mess up"
Facts: I’ve done many things right.
List three.
Scene: "Nobody likes me"
Facts: friends, family, colleagues.
Name five.
Scene: "I can't afford this"
Facts: income, savings, options.
Make numbers.
Scene: "I'll never get over this"
Facts: I’ve recovered before.
Recall one.
Scene: "It's all my fault"
Facts: many factors.
Draw a pie.
Scene: "I'm unlovable"
Facts: people have loved me.
List them.
Scene: "I'm wasting my life"
Facts: my current steps.
List progress.
Be curious, not harsh
Questions work best asked in a friendly tone.
Smile.
Be patient
The first few times feel awkward.
Keep practising.
Be selective
You don’t need to question every thought. Choose the loudest.
Pick one a day.
Be honest
If the thought is true, plan an action.
Make a step.
Be gentle with truth
Some thoughts have truth but need kindness.
Add compassion.
Be a scientist
Test your thought with an experiment.
Design one.
Be consistent
Do it daily for two weeks.
Set a time.
Track results
Rate belief before and after.
Record numbers.
Share it
Teach a friend.
Tell someone.
Seek help
A therapist can guide you.
Consider it.
Close with clarity
Say, “Not every thought deserves my belief.”
Write it.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.
“Is this thought really true?”
“What is the proof for it?”
“What is the proof against it?”
“A fairer way to see this is…”
“I will act on facts, not fears.”
“That thought has lost its power.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Catch the thought
Write it down
Ask is it true
Look for proof
Look for other views
Write a fair thought
Act on the facts
Further reading
- Chatter (Ethan Kross)
- Don’t Believe Everything You Think (Joseph Nguyen)
- The Untethered Soul (Michael Singer)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
