LESSON 03 · STOPPING OVERTHINKING

Know Your Personal Triggers

Thirty-two ways to know your personal triggers, so you can see overthinking coming and prepare.

Triggers are predictable. Predictable means preventable.

40 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

40 tips that really help

These ideas come from Chatter (Ethan Kross), Don’t Believe Everything You Think (Joseph Nguyen), The Untethered Soul (Michael Singer), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

Photo for the tip: Triggers are predictable
TIP 1

Triggers are predictable

Most overthinking is set off by the same few things: a message left unanswered, a mistake, a comparison, a deadline, tiredness. Once you see your triggers, you can prepare for them.

TRY THIS
Write your top three triggers.
Photo for the tip: Keep a trigger diary
TIP 2

Keep a trigger diary

For one week, write when a loop starts, what happened just before and how it felt. Patterns emerge quickly.

TRY THIS
Create a note called “Loop diary”.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: unanswered messages
TIP 3

Trigger: unanswered messages

Silence invites stories. Remind yourself that people are busy. Wait a set time, then follow up once.

TRY THIS
Set a follow-up time.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: social events
TIP 4

Trigger: social events

Afterwards you replay conversations. Plan a short wind-down after events and avoid post-mortems.

TRY THIS
Do a calming activity.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: feedback
TIP 5

Trigger: feedback

Criticism sticks. Read it once, note the useful part, and put the rest away for a day.

TRY THIS
Park it.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: comparison
TIP 6

Trigger: comparison

Seeing others’ highlights makes you spiral. Limit your exposure.

TRY THIS
Mute one account.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: uncertainty
TIP 7

Trigger: uncertainty

Waiting for news is hard. Create small routines to ground yourself.

TRY THIS
Plan your day.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: tiredness
TIP 8

Trigger: tiredness

Tired brains loop more. Sleep helps more than thinking.

TRY THIS
Rest.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: hunger
TIP 9

Trigger: hunger

Low blood sugar can make worries louder. Eat something.

TRY THIS
Have a snack.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: caffeine
TIP 10

Trigger: caffeine

Too much coffee can raise anxiety. Notice your effect.

TRY THIS
Try one cup less.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: alcohol
TIP 11

Trigger: alcohol

It can disturb sleep and mood. Watch the next day.

TRY THIS
Notice and adjust.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: news
TIP 12

Trigger: news

Constant headlines feed worry. Check news once or twice a day.

TRY THIS
Set times.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: quiet moments
TIP 13

Trigger: quiet moments

When idle, the mind fills the gap. Keep a short list of absorbing activities.

TRY THIS
Write five.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: bed
TIP 14

Trigger: bed

Lying down often brings loops. Use a wind-down routine.

TRY THIS
Dim lights early.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: Sundays
TIP 15

Trigger: Sundays

The “Sunday scaries” are common. Plan something pleasant for Sunday evening.

TRY THIS
Plan a treat.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: mirrors and photos
TIP 16

Trigger: mirrors and photos

Appearance worries loop. Limit checking.

TRY THIS
Look once.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: anniversaries
TIP 17

Trigger: anniversaries

Dates can bring memories. Plan kind rituals.

TRY THIS
Do something warm.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: money statements
TIP 18

Trigger: money statements

Seeing numbers can start loops. Check on a schedule with a plan.

TRY THIS
Choose a day.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: health sensations
TIP 19

Trigger: health sensations

A twinge can start a spiral. Note it, check once, and talk to a doctor if needed.

TRY THIS
Don’t search endlessly.
Photo for the tip: Trigger: perfectionism
TIP 20

Trigger: perfectionism

The fear of mistakes fuels checking. Set “good enough” standards.

TRY THIS
Define it.
Photo for the tip: Scene: Monday meeting
TIP 21

Scene: Monday meeting

You replay what you said. Write one lesson and go back to work.

TRY THIS
Close the file.
Photo for the tip: Scene: waiting for test results
TIP 22

Scene: waiting for test results

Plan a distraction and a time to check.

TRY THIS
Schedule it.
Photo for the tip: Scene: after an argument
TIP 23

Scene: after an argument

Write what you’d like to say, then decide whether to send.

TRY THIS
Wait a day.
Photo for the tip: Scene: after a purchase
TIP 24

Scene: after a purchase

You doubt your choice. Review once; if returnable, decide by a date.

TRY THIS
Set a deadline.
Photo for the tip: Scene: after posting online
TIP 25

Scene: after posting online

You check reactions repeatedly. Turn off notifications for an hour.

TRY THIS
Silence them.
Photo for the tip: Scene: after a date
TIP 26

Scene: after a date

You analyse every word. Talk with a friend, then pause.

TRY THIS
Move on.
Photo for the tip: Scene: before travel
TIP 27

Scene: before travel

You imagine problems. Make a checklist and stop.

TRY THIS
Pack early.
Photo for the tip: Scene: before performance reviews
TIP 28

Scene: before performance reviews

List achievements, prepare questions.

TRY THIS
Do a one-page prep.
Photo for the tip: Scene: when plans change
TIP 29

Scene: when plans change

Allow time to adjust and choose the next step.

TRY THIS
Re-plan.
Photo for the tip: Scene: when you feel left out
TIP 30

Scene: when you feel left out

Notice the story; contact one person.

TRY THIS
Send a message.
Photo for the tip: Know your early warning signs
TIP 31

Know your early warning signs

Racing thoughts, tight jaw, checking your phone, skipping meals.

TRY THIS
List three.
Photo for the tip: Make a trigger plan
TIP 32

Make a trigger plan

For each trigger, write one response: breathe, walk, call, write.

TRY THIS
Make a short plan.
Photo for the tip: Share it with a friend
TIP 33

Share it with a friend

They can help you notice.

TRY THIS
Tell someone.
Photo for the tip: Use cues
TIP 34

Use cues

Place sticky notes: “Is this solving?”

TRY THIS
Put one on your desk.
Photo for the tip: Use apps carefully
TIP 35

Use apps carefully

Limit apps that fuel loops; use calm ones in moderation.

TRY THIS
Review your phone.
Photo for the tip: Use routine
TIP 36

Use routine

Regular sleep, meals and movement reduce triggers.

TRY THIS
Keep a schedule.
Photo for the tip: Use kindness
TIP 37

Use kindness

Say, “Triggers are normal. I’m learning.”

TRY THIS
Be gentle.
Photo for the tip: Review monthly
TIP 38

Review monthly

See which triggers fade.

TRY THIS
Mark a date.
Photo for the tip: Celebrate awareness
TIP 39

Celebrate awareness

Spotting a trigger early is a major skill.

TRY THIS
Mark progress.
Photo for the tip: Close with confidence
TIP 40

Close with confidence

Say, “I know my triggers, and I have a plan.”

TRY THIS
Write it.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.

NOTICE

“This is a trigger for me.”

PREPARE

“I will plan how to handle it.”

ASK

“What set this off?”

SHARE

“I tend to spiral when I am tired.”

THANK

“Thank you for understanding.”

CLOSE

“I am learning my patterns.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Keep a trigger log
DAY 2
Spot patterns
DAY 3
Name top three
DAY 4
Plan a response
DAY 5
Prepare ahead
DAY 6
Tell someone
DAY 7
Review monthly

Further reading

  • Chatter (Ethan Kross)
  • Don’t Believe Everything You Think (Joseph Nguyen)
  • The Untethered Soul (Michael Singer)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

More lessons in “Stopping Overthinking”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

← Previous: Problem Solving or Spinning? The TestNext: The Late-Night Thinking Trap →

  1. What Overthinking Really Is
  2. Problem Solving or Spinning? The Test
  3. Know Your Personal Triggers
  4. The Late-Night Thinking Trap
  5. Why Your Brain Replays Bad Moments
  6. The Cost of Too Much Thinking
  7. Notice the Body Signs of a Spiral
  8. Name Your Inner Critic
  9. Ask "Is It True?"
  10. Spot the Thinking Traps
  11. Talk to Yourself Like a Friend
  12. Use Your Own Name in Self-Talk
  13. Write a Kinder Version of the Thought
  14. Stop Mind-Reading What Others Think
  15. Name Five Things You Can See
  16. Cold Water on Your Face
  17. Say "Stop" and Change the Channel
  18. The Long-Exhale Breath
  19. Stand Up and Move
  20. Count Back From One Hundred by Sevens
  21. Listen to One Song
  22. The Five-Minute Worry Window
  23. Write It Down and Close the Book
  24. Sort Worries: Can I Act on This?
  25. Make a Small Plan, Then Let Go
  26. Keep a Worry Notebook by Your Bed
  27. Zoom Out: Will This Matter in a Year?
  28. Share a Worry With a Friend
  29. Stop Replaying Embarrassing Moments
  30. Forgive Your Past Self
  31. Stop Rehearsing Arguments
  32. Decide Faster on Small Things
  33. Done Beats Perfect
  34. Make Peace With Not Knowing
  35. Ten Minutes of Quiet Each Day
  36. Move Your Body, Quiet Your Mind
  37. Protect Your Sleep
  38. Limit News and Scrolling
  39. Spend Time in Nature
  40. Be Here Now: Simple Mindfulness
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