LESSON 16 · MAKE THE FIRST CONTACT COUNT

Connect With a Note, Not a Pitch

Forty ways to connect with a short personal note instead of a pitch, and to be accepted far more often.

A connection request is a handshake. Be human, not salesy.

37 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

37 tips that really help

These ideas come from Fanatical Prospecting (Jeb Blount), Cold Calling Techniques (Stephan Schiffman), The Little Red Book of Selling (Jeffrey Gitomer), and everyday practice. The first six help the most. Pick one and try it today.

Photo for the tip: Why a note helps
TIP 1

Why a note helps

A short personal note shows you are a real person, and many people accept notes more often than blank requests.

TRY THIS
Plan to add a note to every request.
Photo for the tip: Keep it under 300 characters
TIP 2

Keep it under 300 characters

The platform limits note length, and a short note reads better anyway.

TRY THIS
Count the characters in your last note.
Photo for the tip: Start with something specific
TIP 3

Start with something specific

A post, an article or an event they attended gives you a genuine opening line.

TRY THIS
Find one specific detail first.
Photo for the tip: Be honest about your reason
TIP 4

Be honest about your reason

Saying “I enjoy your content” or “we work in similar areas” is true, simple and enough.

TRY THIS
Write your reason in one sentence.
Photo for the tip: Do not pitch in the note
TIP 5

Do not pitch in the note

A sales message in a connection request is the fastest way to be declined or reported.

TRY THIS
Remove any mention of your product.
Photo for the tip: Do not ask for a call yet
TIP 6

Do not ask for a call yet

The connection comes first, and the conversation can grow once they accept.

TRY THIS
Wait until after they accept.
Photo for the tip: Use a warm tone
TIP 7

Use a warm tone

Friendly, plain words feel like a handshake and not like an advertisement.

TRY THIS
Read the note aloud before sending.
Photo for the tip: Use their name correctly
TIP 8

Use their name correctly

A misspelled name in the first line tells them you did not look.

TRY THIS
Check the spelling on their profile.
Photo for the tip: Mention a shared contact
TIP 9

Mention a shared contact

A mutual connection raises trust, but only if the link is real and appropriate.

TRY THIS
Check for a genuine shared name.
Photo for the tip: Mention a shared group
TIP 10

Mention a shared group

Belonging to the same community gives you an easy, true link.

TRY THIS
Look at their group memberships.
Photo for the tip: Mention a shared event
TIP 11

Mention a shared event

Having attended the same conference or webinar is a natural conversation starter.

TRY THIS
Check the event page for their name.
Photo for the tip: Avoid empty flattery
TIP 12

Avoid empty flattery

“I am impressed by your amazing profile” sounds like a template and is ignored.

TRY THIS
Replace it with one concrete detail.
Photo for the tip: Avoid copying the same note
TIP 13

Avoid copying the same note

People often compare notes, and identical wording looks automated.

TRY THIS
Rewrite each note for the person.
Photo for the tip: Avoid sending in bulk
TIP 14

Avoid sending in bulk

Platforms limit and sometimes restrict accounts that send many requests quickly.

TRY THIS
Send a handful each day.
Photo for the tip: Avoid connecting with everyone
TIP 15

Avoid connecting with everyone

A smaller, relevant network is more useful than a huge, random one.

TRY THIS
Choose people you could genuinely help.
Photo for the tip: Choose relevant people
TIP 16

Choose relevant people

Aim at those whose work overlaps with yours or whom you want to learn from.

TRY THIS
List ten names today.
Photo for the tip: Send small batches
TIP 17

Send small batches

A few thoughtful requests daily beats fifty careless ones weekly.

TRY THIS
Set a daily limit of five.
Photo for the tip: Track your acceptance rate
TIP 18

Track your acceptance rate

Counting shows whether your notes are working.

TRY THIS
Record sent and accepted in a sheet.
Photo for the tip: Compare notes with and without
TIP 19

Compare notes with and without

A small test shows whether a note really lifts acceptance for you.

TRY THIS
Send five of each type.
Photo for the tip: Learn what works
TIP 20

Learn what works

The notes that get accepted show what your audience likes.

TRY THIS
Write down your three best.
Photo for the tip: Thank new connections
TIP 21

Thank new connections

A short thank-you message starts the relationship warmly.

TRY THIS
Send one within a day.
Photo for the tip: Do not pitch after they accept
TIP 22

Do not pitch after they accept

Immediate sales messages after accepting annoy people and lose the connection.

TRY THIS
Wait and offer value first.
Photo for the tip: Start a conversation
TIP 23

Start a conversation

A simple question about their work invites a reply.

TRY THIS
Write one open question.
Photo for the tip: Offer help before asking
TIP 24

Offer help before asking

A useful article or introduction builds goodwill.

TRY THIS
Share one helpful link.
Photo for the tip: Follow their content
TIP 25

Follow their content

Staying aware of what they share gives you things to talk about.

TRY THIS
Follow five new connections.
Photo for the tip: Comment on their posts
TIP 26

Comment on their posts

Thoughtful comments keep you visible without selling.

TRY THIS
Leave two comments this week.
Photo for the tip: Respect a decline or silence
TIP 27

Respect a decline or silence

No response is a polite no, and respecting it protects your reputation.

TRY THIS
Move on gracefully.
Photo for the tip: Keep your own profile strong
TIP 28

Keep your own profile strong

Many people check your profile before accepting.

TRY THIS
Review it today.
Photo for the tip: Be consistent
TIP 29

Be consistent

A little every day builds a network faster than occasional bursts.

TRY THIS
Set a fifteen-minute daily slot.
Photo for the tip: Be kind in every message
TIP 30

Be kind in every message

Warmth is remembered, even by those who say no.

TRY THIS
Smile as you write.
Photo for the tip: Learn from replies
TIP 31

Learn from replies

Replies, even negative ones, teach you about your approach.

TRY THIS
Note one lesson.
Photo for the tip: Share good notes with colleagues
TIP 32

Share good notes with colleagues

A shared set of tested notes helps the whole team.

TRY THIS
Send your best to a teammate.
Photo for the tip: Review monthly
TIP 33

Review monthly

A monthly look shows trends in acceptance and conversations.

TRY THIS
Set a recurring reminder.
Photo for the tip: Use notes before events
TIP 34

Use notes before events

Connecting ahead of an event makes meeting in person warmer.

TRY THIS
Connect with three attendees.
Photo for the tip: Use notes after events
TIP 35

Use notes after events

A note after meeting reminds them who you are.

TRY THIS
Send them within a day.
Photo for the tip: Use notes to ask for introductions
TIP 36

Use notes to ask for introductions

A warm note to a mutual contact can lead to an introduction.

TRY THIS
Ask one person today.
Photo for the tip: Send your first note today
TIP 37

Send your first note today

The only way to learn is to try it for real.

TRY THIS
Write and send one now.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many sales conversations.

OPEN

“Hi Maria, I enjoyed your post on onboarding.”

LINK

“We both know Sam from the retail forum.”

INTEREST

“I am curious how you handle seasonal staff.”

HONEST

“I am not selling anything, just connecting.”

THANKS

“Thanks for considering my request.”

CLOSE

“Wishing you a good week.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Write three connection notes
DAY 2
Send five with a personal line
DAY 3
Track your acceptance rate
DAY 4
Compare notes with and without
DAY 5
Thank each new connection
DAY 6
Start one real conversation
DAY 7
Review your results

Further reading

  • Fanatical Prospecting (Jeb Blount)
  • Cold Calling Techniques (Stephan Schiffman)
  • The Little Red Book of Selling (Jeffrey Gitomer)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.

More lessons in “Make the First Contact Count”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

← Previous: A LinkedIn Profile That Attracts BuyersNext: Comment Your Way Into a Conversation →

  1. Why Calls Still Beat Everything
  2. Your 20-Second Opening
  3. The Friendly Interrupt
  4. Open With a Reason, Not a Pitch
  5. Get Past the Gatekeeper Kindly
  6. Leave a Voicemail People Return
  7. What to Do When They Say "Not Interested"
  8. Subject Lines People Open
  9. The Three-Sentence Email
  10. Personalise in One Line
  11. Make One Clear Ask
  12. Follow-Up Emails That Do Not Annoy
  13. The Friendly Breakup Email
  14. Fix the Mistakes That Land You in Spam
  15. A LinkedIn Profile That Attracts Buyers
  16. Connect With a Note, Not a Pitch
  17. Comment Your Way Into a Conversation
  18. Share Posts That Show Expertise
  19. Slide Into Messages Politely
  20. Turn a Like Into a Call
  21. Social Selling in 15 Minutes a Day
  22. Walk Into a Business With Confidence
  23. Your 10-Second First Impression
  24. Handshakes, Smiles and Eye Contact
  25. Start a Chat at an Event
  26. Hand Out Cards the Natural Way
  27. Read the Room Before You Speak
  28. Leave Something Memorable Behind
  29. Ask for a Meeting Without Begging
  30. The 15-Minute Offer
  31. Propose Two Time Options
  32. Confirm Meetings So They Show Up
  33. Reduce No-Shows Politely
  34. Rescue a Stalled Conversation
  35. I Am Busy: What to Say
  36. Just Send Me Information
  37. We Already Have a Supplier
  38. Send Me an Email
  39. Call Me Next Quarter
  40. Stay Friendly and Stay in Touch
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