The Friendly Interrupt
Forty ways to use the friendly interrupt, an honest and disarming way to start a call with a stranger.
Honesty disarms. Admit the interruption and people relax.
40 tips that really help
These ideas come from Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss), Fanatical Prospecting (Jeb Blount), How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie), and Influence (Robert Cialdini), and everyday practice. The first six help the most. Pick one and try it today.
Why it works
Many people expect a hard pitch. Honest acknowledgement of the interruption lowers their defences. Honest words about the interruption lower the guard.
Think of how you feel when a stranger calls you. Write the line ‘I know I am calling out of the blue.’
Admit the situation
Saying ‘I know I am calling out of the blue’ is true, friendly and disarming. Say it in your next call. Admit that the call is unexpected, and people soften.
Write two or three ways to admit the interruption in your own words. Choose the one that sounds most natural.
Acknowledge their time
‘I know you are busy’ shows that you respect what they are doing. Add it after your name. Acknowledge their time, and then be brief.
Add ‘I know you are busy’ to your opening, after your name. Follow it with ‘so I will be brief’.
Offer a short time
Promising thirty seconds makes the request small and easy to accept. Offer a clear time limit. Offer a short, clear time, and keep it.
Write ‘Could I have thirty seconds?’ in your opening. Practise your pitch so that it fits in thirty seconds.
Give them control
Telling them they can end the call at any moment makes most people stay. Say it kindly. Give them control, and most people choose to stay.
Write a line such as ‘Please stop me if this is not useful.’ Say it warmly after your reason.
Keep it light
A little warmth and humour helps the other person relax. Smile as you speak. A light, warm tone helps people to relax.
Write one light, kind line for your opening. Say it with a smile.
Keep it sincere
People can hear insincerity quickly, so mean what you say. Check your tone on a recording. Mean what you say, and the line will work.
Record yourself saying the interrupt line. Listen, and ask, ‘Does this sound real?’
Avoid sarcasm
Sarcasm sounds clever to you and rude to them. Remove any joking that could sting. Keep your humour kind, and avoid sarcasm.
Read your opening, and mark any joke that targets the listener. Remove it, or turn it into a kind remark about yourself.
Avoid over-apologising
One honest acknowledgement is plenty and too many sound weak. Say it once and move on. One honest acknowledgement is enough, so say it and go on.
Count the word ‘sorry’ in your script. Replace all but one acknowledgement with calm statements.
Follow with a reason
After the interruption line, give your reason quickly so they know why you called. Write the next sentence. After the interrupt, give your reason at once.
Write the sentence that follows your interrupt line. Make it a short reason about them.
Make the reason about them
A reason that benefits them is more interesting than a reason that benefits you. Edit your reason. Make the reason about them, and they will listen.
Write your current reason. Ask, ‘Why would they care?’ and rewrite it around their problem.
Use their name
Hearing their own name makes the call feel personal. Say it once near the start. Use their name once, and say it with care.
Check the spelling and sound of your prospect’s name. Use it once at the start of your call.
Use a calm voice
A steady, unhurried voice signals confidence and honesty. Breathe before you dial. A calm voice shows confidence and honesty.
Before your next call, breathe in for four and out for six, three times. Hum for a few seconds, and sip water.
Slow your pace
The interrupt line works best when spoken slowly and clearly. Slow down by ten percent. Say the interrupt line slowly, and it lands.
Record yourself saying the interrupt line at your normal pace. Say it again ten percent slower, with small pauses.
Pause after the line
A short silence lets the honesty land and invites a response. Count one beat. Pause after the line, and let the honesty land.
Practise saying the interrupt line, then counting ‘one’ in your head. Then say your reason.
Be ready for "go on"
If they say yes, you need your next line ready. Write it now. Have your next line ready for when they say ‘go on’.
Write one or two lines to follow your reason. End them with an open question.
Be ready for "no"
If they say no, a gracious reply may bring a later yes. Write a thank-you line. Be ready for a no, and answer it with grace.
Write a one-line thank-you for a no. Practise it aloud in a warm voice.
Be ready for "who is this?"
Calmly repeat your name and company without defensiveness. Practise saying it twice. Answer ‘Who is this?’ calmly, and trust stays.
Write a calm reply: name, company and a few words about what you do. Practise saying it twice, slowly, with a smile.
Test variations
Small changes in wording can change how people respond. Try three versions this week. Test a few versions, and let your results decide.
Write three versions of your interrupt line. Use each on ten calls, and note the results.
Track the replies
Numbers show which version earns more conversations. Keep a tally. Track your replies, and numbers will guide you.
Draw a table with columns for each version and each result. Mark each call as you go.
Keep the best version
When you find what works, stay with it and refine it. Save it in your notes. Keep your best version, and refine it slowly.
Write your best interrupt line on a card, with the date. Keep it by your phone and use it daily.
Adapt for assistants
Assistants respond best to courtesy and clarity. Write a respectful version. Be courteous and clear with assistants, and ask for advice.
Write a courteous version of your line for assistants. Include a request for advice, not for access.
Adapt for owners
Owners often prefer direct, short statements. Write a brief version. Owners like short, direct, honest openings.
Write a version of your line for owners, under twenty seconds. Lead with the result you give.
Adapt for executives
Senior people value brevity and relevance above all. Cut it to one line. With executives, one clear line about a result is enough.
Write one sentence that links to a business result. Add the interrupt line and a request for one minute.
Adapt for email
The same honesty works in a written opening. Draft an email version. The friendly interrupt works well in writing, too.
Write a four-line email: honest line, reason, question and thanks. Read it aloud, and cut any extra words.
Adapt for voicemail
A voicemail version should be short and warm. Draft a ten-second version. A short, warm voicemail with an honest opener is returned.
Write a ten-second voicemail with the friendly interrupt, name and reason. Add your number twice, slowly.
Adapt for in-person
Face to face, a gentle ‘May I interrupt for a moment?’ works well. Practise that line. In person, ask kindly before you interrupt.
Write an in-person version of your line. Practise it aloud, with a smile and an open stance.
Adapt for events
At events, a friendly ‘Mind if I join?’ opens conversations. Practise it with a friend. At events, a friendly line starts real conversations.
Write a friendly event line, such as ‘Mind if I join you?’ Practise it aloud with a friend.
Role-play it
Practising with a colleague builds natural delivery. Do a five-minute role-play. Role-play with a friend, and your line becomes natural.
Ask a friend or colleague for a five-minute role-play. Play a call with your interrupt line and one tough reply.
Record yourself
Hearing your tone helps you improve it. Listen once and note one change. A recording shows you how you really sound.
Record your interrupt line and reason on your phone. Listen once, and note one thing to keep and one to change.
Ask for feedback
A colleague can tell you how it sounds from outside. Ask for two comments. Ask for two comments, and learn what you cannot hear.
Ask one colleague or friend to listen to your line. Ask for one thing that works and one to try.
Share it with your team
Good lines spread when people share them. Send yours to one colleague. Share your best line, and everyone improves.
Write your best line and one reason it works. Send it to one colleague or friend.
Review monthly
Check what is working and retire what is not. Set a monthly reminder. A monthly review keeps your approach sharp.
Put a twenty-minute review in your calendar for the end of each month. At the review, look at your tally and notes.
Retire what fails
Dropping weak lines frees space for better ones. Remove one version. Retire what fails, and your best lines get stronger.
Look at your tally for the weakest version. If it has had enough tests and poor results, remove it.
Add humour carefully
A light touch can help, but only if it comes naturally. Test a gentle smile in your voice. Use humour lightly, and only if it is natural.
Write one gentle, self-directed light line. Test it on a friend.
Stay respectful always
Warmth and respect keep every line from sounding like a trick. Re-read your script for tone. Stay respectful always, and your words will ring true.
Read your script as if you were the listener. Remove any line that feels pushy or false.
Stay brief
Even a friendly interruption should be short. Time it to ten seconds. Keep the interrupt line short, and get to your reason.
Time your interrupt line with a stopwatch. Cut it to ten seconds or less.
Start with a warm hello
The first word sets the mood. Say hello with a small smile before the interrupt line. A warm hello makes a good start.
Smile and breathe low. Say ‘Hello’ three times, slowly and warmly.
Match the line to your own voice
A line that sounds like you is easier to say and easier to believe. Rewrite the line in your own words. Say it in your own words, and it will sound real.
Write the interrupt line in three ways, in your own words. Say each aloud.
Use it today
The only way to learn is to try it on a real call. Make five calls with it. Use the friendly interrupt today, on real calls.
Choose five people to call today. Write your interrupt line and reason on a card.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many sales conversations.
“I know I am calling out of the blue.”
“If you give me thirty seconds, you can decide whether to keep talking.”
“Is that fair?”
“I am calling because many owners tell me this is a headache.”
“If it is not for you, tell me and I will let you go.”
“Thank you for the thirty seconds.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Write your friendly interrupt
Practise it aloud
Use it on five calls
Track the replies
Adjust one word
Try a new version
Share the best one
Further reading
- Fanatical Prospecting (Jeb Blount)
- Cold Calling Techniques (Stephan Schiffman)
- The Little Red Book of Selling (Jeffrey Gitomer)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “Make the First Contact Count”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Your 20-Second OpeningNext: Open With a Reason, Not a Pitch →
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- Your 20-Second Opening
- The Friendly Interrupt
- Open With a Reason, Not a Pitch
- Get Past the Gatekeeper Kindly
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- What to Do When They Say "Not Interested"
- Subject Lines People Open
- The Three-Sentence Email
- Personalise in One Line
- Make One Clear Ask
- Follow-Up Emails That Do Not Annoy
- The Friendly Breakup Email
- Fix the Mistakes That Land You in Spam
- A LinkedIn Profile That Attracts Buyers
- Connect With a Note, Not a Pitch
- Comment Your Way Into a Conversation
- Share Posts That Show Expertise
- Slide Into Messages Politely
- Turn a Like Into a Call
- Social Selling in 15 Minutes a Day
- Walk Into a Business With Confidence
- Your 10-Second First Impression
- Handshakes, Smiles and Eye Contact
- Start a Chat at an Event
- Hand Out Cards the Natural Way
- Read the Room Before You Speak
- Leave Something Memorable Behind
- Ask for a Meeting Without Begging
- The 15-Minute Offer
- Propose Two Time Options
- Confirm Meetings So They Show Up
- Reduce No-Shows Politely
- Rescue a Stalled Conversation
- I Am Busy: What to Say
- Just Send Me Information
- We Already Have a Supplier
- Send Me an Email
- Call Me Next Quarter
- Stay Friendly and Stay in Touch
