LESSON 25 · MAKE THE FIRST CONTACT COUNT

Start a Chat at an Event

Practical ways to start a friendly chat at an event, even if you are shy and know no one.

One easy hello is all you need. Everyone is hoping someone will talk to them.

26 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

26 tips that really help

These ideas come from Fanatical Prospecting (Jeb Blount), Cold Calling Techniques (Stephan Schiffman), The Little Red Book of Selling (Jeffrey Gitomer), and everyday practice. The first six help the most. Pick one and try it today.

Photo for the tip: Most people feel awkward too
TIP 1

Most people feel awkward too

Even confident people feel a little nervous at events, so an easy, friendly hello is usually welcome.

TRY THIS
Remind yourself that others feel the same.
Photo for the tip: Arrive early
TIP 2

Arrive early

Fewer people are there, rooms are quieter and it is much easier to start a conversation.

TRY THIS
Aim to arrive ten minutes before the start.
Photo for the tip: Set a small goal
TIP 3

Set a small goal

Decide to have two or three real conversations rather than meeting everyone.

TRY THIS
Write your target on a card.
Photo for the tip: Look for people alone
TIP 4

Look for people alone

Someone standing alone is often relieved when you walk over and say hello.

TRY THIS
Choose one such person first.
Photo for the tip: Join small groups
TIP 5

Join small groups

A group of three is easier to enter than a pair deep in conversation.

TRY THIS
Approach a group that seems open.
Photo for the tip: Use the drinks or food area
TIP 6

Use the drinks or food area

People pause there, and shared surroundings give you easy topics.

TRY THIS
Start a chat about the food.
Photo for the tip: Start with an easy question
TIP 7

Start with an easy question

“What brought you here today?” is natural and works almost every time.

TRY THIS
Prepare two easy openers.
Photo for the tip: Ask open questions
TIP 8

Ask open questions

Questions that begin with what or how invite more than a one-word answer.

TRY THIS
Turn one yes or no question into an open one.
Photo for the tip: Listen more than you talk
TIP 9

Listen more than you talk

Interested listeners are remembered fondly, and listening takes the pressure off you.

TRY THIS
Aim to speak about a third of the time.
Photo for the tip: Use their name
TIP 10

Use their name

Repeating a name once helps you remember it and makes them feel noticed.

TRY THIS
Repeat it right after you hear it.
Photo for the tip: Share a little about yourself
TIP 11

Share a little about yourself

A small personal detail invites them to share back and builds rapport.

TRY THIS
Prepare one light fact.
Photo for the tip: Look for common ground
TIP 12

Look for common ground

Shared interests, shared challenges or shared contacts make talk flow.

TRY THIS
Listen for one thing in common.
Photo for the tip: Be positive
TIP 13

Be positive

A warm, upbeat tone is attractive, while complaints about the event bring the mood down.

TRY THIS
Find something good to say about the venue.
Photo for the tip: Notice body language
TIP 14

Notice body language

Open stance and eye contact tell you whether someone is happy to talk.

TRY THIS
Watch for friendly signals before approaching.
Photo for the tip: Introduce people to each other
TIP 15

Introduce people to each other

Connecting two people is a generous act and gives you a role.

TRY THIS
Introduce one pair tonight.
Photo for the tip: Take a break when you need one
TIP 16

Take a break when you need one

Stepping outside for a minute can restore your energy.

TRY THIS
Plan a short breather.
Photo for the tip: Have an exit line ready
TIP 17

Have an exit line ready

Knowing how to leave politely makes starting easier.

TRY THIS
Practise “It was lovely meeting you.”
Photo for the tip: Collect contacts selectively
TIP 18

Collect contacts selectively

A few good connections beat a pocketful of cards.

TRY THIS
Aim for three.
Photo for the tip: Write notes soon after
TIP 19

Write notes soon after

A short note about each person helps follow-up.

TRY THIS
Jot details on the back of the card.
Photo for the tip: Follow up within a day
TIP 20

Follow up within a day

A prompt, friendly message turns a meeting into a relationship.

TRY THIS
Send it tomorrow morning.
Photo for the tip: Suggest a coffee
TIP 21

Suggest a coffee

A simple invitation to talk more deepens the connection.

TRY THIS
Offer one coffee this week.
Photo for the tip: Connect online afterwards
TIP 22

Connect online afterwards

A short note with the connection request helps them recall you.

TRY THIS
Mention where you met.
Photo for the tip: Share something useful
TIP 23

Share something useful

A relevant article or introduction is a lovely follow-up.

TRY THIS
Choose one item to send.
Photo for the tip: Volunteer at the event
TIP 24

Volunteer at the event

Helping at a desk gives you a natural reason to talk to everyone.

TRY THIS
Offer to help.
Photo for the tip: Reflect afterwards
TIP 25

Reflect afterwards

Noting what worked builds confidence for next time.

TRY THIS
Write one thing you did well.
Photo for the tip: Be patient with yourself
TIP 26

Be patient with yourself

Skills in conversation grow with practice.

TRY THIS
Aim for one event a month.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many sales conversations.

OPEN

“Hi, I am Sam. What brought you here today?”

ASK

“What do you do when you are not at events like this?”

SHARE

“This is my first time here, so I am still finding my feet.”

JOIN

“Mind if I join you?”

EXIT

“It was great chatting. I will say hello to a few others.”

FOLLOW

“May I send you that article tomorrow?”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Arrive ten minutes early
DAY 2
Say hello to one person standing alone
DAY 3
Ask one open question
DAY 4
Exchange contact details with one person
DAY 5
Write notes after you leave
DAY 6
Send two follow-up messages
DAY 7
Plan your next event

Further reading

  • Fanatical Prospecting (Jeb Blount)
  • Cold Calling Techniques (Stephan Schiffman)
  • The Little Red Book of Selling (Jeffrey Gitomer)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.

More lessons in “Make the First Contact Count”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

← Previous: Handshakes, Smiles and Eye ContactNext: Hand Out Cards the Natural Way →

  1. Why Calls Still Beat Everything
  2. Your 20-Second Opening
  3. The Friendly Interrupt
  4. Open With a Reason, Not a Pitch
  5. Get Past the Gatekeeper Kindly
  6. Leave a Voicemail People Return
  7. What to Do When They Say "Not Interested"
  8. Subject Lines People Open
  9. The Three-Sentence Email
  10. Personalise in One Line
  11. Make One Clear Ask
  12. Follow-Up Emails That Do Not Annoy
  13. The Friendly Breakup Email
  14. Fix the Mistakes That Land You in Spam
  15. A LinkedIn Profile That Attracts Buyers
  16. Connect With a Note, Not a Pitch
  17. Comment Your Way Into a Conversation
  18. Share Posts That Show Expertise
  19. Slide Into Messages Politely
  20. Turn a Like Into a Call
  21. Social Selling in 15 Minutes a Day
  22. Walk Into a Business With Confidence
  23. Your 10-Second First Impression
  24. Handshakes, Smiles and Eye Contact
  25. Start a Chat at an Event
  26. Hand Out Cards the Natural Way
  27. Read the Room Before You Speak
  28. Leave Something Memorable Behind
  29. Ask for a Meeting Without Begging
  30. The 15-Minute Offer
  31. Propose Two Time Options
  32. Confirm Meetings So They Show Up
  33. Reduce No-Shows Politely
  34. Rescue a Stalled Conversation
  35. I Am Busy: What to Say
  36. Just Send Me Information
  37. We Already Have a Supplier
  38. Send Me an Email
  39. Call Me Next Quarter
  40. Stay Friendly and Stay in Touch
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