Making Friends / How to Meet New People / Lesson 21

LESSON 21 · HOW TO MEET NEW PEOPLE

Go Where Your Friends Go

Twelve ways to go where your friends go, and meet the people around them.

Friends have places and routines. Joining them is a natural way in.

29 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

29 tips that really help

These ideas come from Platonic (Marisa Franco), Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), How to Talk to Anyone (Leil Lowndes), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Friends have routines

Your friends already go to classes, clubs and cafes where people know them. Joining them gives you a ready-made set of familiar faces.

TRY THIS
Ask a friend about their weekly activity.

TIP 2

Ask to join as a guest

Most people are happy to bring a friend along once. Make it easy for them by saying you would love to try it.

TRY THIS
Ask to join one session.

TIP 3

Arrive together

Arriving with your friend gives you a warm introduction and a calm start. They can introduce you to the regulars.

TRY THIS
Plan to arrive together.

TIP 4

Chat with the regulars

Ask how long they have been coming and what they enjoy. People love to talk about their favourite activities.

TRY THIS
Ask one regular a question.

TIP 5

Return the next week

Showing up again signals that you are serious and friendly. Repetition is how groups start to feel familiar.

TRY THIS
Join again next week.

TIP 6

Respect the group culture

Watch how people behave and listen before you speak. Every group has its own style.

TRY THIS
Observe first, then join in.

TIP 7

Bring something of yourself

Share a small story or interest so people can get to know you. Balanced sharing builds closeness.

TRY THIS
Add one detail about yourself.

TIP 8

Invite your friend to yours

Return the favour by inviting them to something you enjoy. It deepens the friendship and widens both circles.

TRY THIS
Plan a swap.

TIP 9

Join the group chat

Group chats keep you connected between sessions and make plans easy. Say hello and add a friendly comment.

TRY THIS
Post one friendly message.

TIP 10

Go to the social extras

After-class coffees and end-of-season parties are where bonds form. Say yes to them.

TRY THIS
Say yes to the next one.

TIP 11

Learn their schedule

Ask when and where your friend goes. Knowing it helps you plan to join.

TRY THIS
Ask for their week.

TIP 12

Pick one activity to try

You do not need to join everything. Choose one that interests you.

TRY THIS
Choose one.

TIP 13

Share transport

Travelling together gives you time to chat and arrive comfortably. Offer a lift.

TRY THIS
Offer or ask for one.

TIP 14

Introduce yourself to leaders

Instructors and organisers can welcome you. Say hello.

TRY THIS
Greet the leader.

TIP 15

Ask the regulars questions

How long have you been coming? is easy. Listen to their answers.

TRY THIS
Ask two.

TIP 16

Offer to try their favourite

Ask your friend to show you their favourite part. It pleases them.

TRY THIS
Ask.

TIP 17

Take photos

A photo of the group is a keepsake. Share it with them.

TRY THIS
Ask first.

TIP 18

Join the group chat

Staying connected helps plans. Say hello in the chat.

TRY THIS
Post a greeting.

TIP 19

Bring a friend of your own

Invite someone from your circle to join. It builds connections.

TRY THIS
Invite one.

TIP 20

Contribute ideas

Suggest a change or a social. It makes you part of it.

TRY THIS
Share one idea.

TIP 21

Be patient with new routines

Learning takes time. Be kind to yourself.

TRY THIS
Say it is fine.

TIP 22

Thank your friend

A thank-you after the first visit is lovely. Say it.

TRY THIS
Send thanks.

TIP 23

Return the favour

Invite your friend to your activity. Reciprocity builds bonds.

TRY THIS
Plan one.

TIP 24

Learn names

Use names to feel welcome. Write them.

TRY THIS
Note three.

TIP 25

Join the post-activity chat

Stay for tea or a drink. Friendships form there.

TRY THIS
Stay ten minutes.

TIP 26

Do not cling to your friend

Move around and meet others. Let your friend enjoy too.

TRY THIS
Walk off briefly.

TIP 27

Notice the vibe

Is it warm and kind? Choose groups that feel right.

TRY THIS
Check your feeling.

TIP 28

Try again

If it was not right, try another. Be flexible.

TRY THIS
Plan another.

TIP 29

Reflect after

Write what you enjoyed. It guides choices.

TRY THIS
Write two lines.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

ASK

“Can I tag along to your class?”

SHARE

“I would love to try what you do.”

THANKS

“Thanks for letting me join.”

COMPLIMENT

“Your group seems really welcoming.”

INVITE

“Want to try a new place together?”

PLAN

“I will join you next Thursday.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Ask a friend about their weekly activity

DAY 2
Join once as a guest

DAY 3
Talk to two regulars

DAY 4
Return the next week

DAY 5
Invite your friend to your activity

DAY 6
Join the group chat

DAY 7
Plan a social event

Further reading

• Platonic (Marisa Franco)
• Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
• How to Talk to Anyone (Leil Lowndes)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.