Making Friends / How to Meet New People / Lesson 17

LESSON 17 · HOW TO MEET NEW PEOPLE

Be a Plus-One With Purpose

Twelve ways to be a plus-one with purpose, and make the most of other people’s events.

A plus-one invitation is a gift. Use it to meet people kindly.

33 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

33 tips that really help

These ideas come from Platonic (Marisa Franco), Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), How to Talk to Anyone (Leil Lowndes), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Say yes to being a guest

A plus-one invitation is an easy way to meet people because you arrive with a friend at your side. It is a low-risk way into a new social circle.

TRY THIS
Accept the next plus-one invitation you get.

TIP 2

Ask your friend about the guests

Before you go, ask who will be there and how they know each other. A few facts give you easy topics and calm your nerves.

TRY THIS
Ask for two details about the guests.

TIP 3

Set one small goal

Decide to talk to two new people during the night. A small goal keeps you focused and relaxed.

TRY THIS
Write your goal in your phone.

TIP 4

Start with your friend, then circulate

Arrive together so you feel safe, then take a walk around the room. You will find it easier to talk once you have settled.

TRY THIS
Agree to split up after twenty minutes.

TIP 5

Use an open question

How do you know the host? is a classic opener that always has a story attached. Follow up on what they say.

TRY THIS
Use it with two guests.

TIP 6

Offer to help

Offering to pour drinks, carry plates or find chairs gives you a role and starts friendly chats. Hosts love helpful guests.

TRY THIS
Offer one small hand.

TIP 7

Do not stay glued to your friend

Spending the whole evening beside your friend limits who you meet. Give each other space and meet again later.

TRY THIS
Agree to circulate separately.

TIP 8

Thank the host before you leave

A warm thank-you leaves a lovely impression and makes future invitations more likely. It also shows you valued the evening.

TRY THIS
Find the host and thank them.

TIP 9

Thank your friend too

A message the next day telling your friend you appreciated the invitation strengthens your bond. It also encourages more invitations.

TRY THIS
Send a short thank-you message.

TIP 10

Return the favour

Invite your friend to something you enjoy, such as a class or a dinner. Reciprocity is the heart of friendship.

TRY THIS
Plan a plus-one for them.

TIP 11

Check the etiquette

Ask your friend if there is a dress code or something to bring. Knowing the norm eases nerves.

TRY THIS
Ask two questions.

TIP 12

Learn three facts about the host

A little knowledge gives you things to say. Ask your friend.

TRY THIS
Write three facts.

TIP 13

Bring a small gift

A bottle, flowers or snacks show thanks and give you something to hand over. Keep it simple.

TRY THIS
Choose one.

TIP 14

Dress to feel comfortable

Wear something appropriate that makes you feel good. Comfort lowers nerves.

TRY THIS
Pick an outfit.

TIP 15

Arrive with your friend

Your friend gives you an easy start. Plan to arrive together.

TRY THIS
Agree a time.

TIP 16

Let your friend introduce you

A warm introduction opens many doors. Ask them to add one line about you.

TRY THIS
Ask for a good intro.

TIP 17

Learn the names of key people

Knowing the host and a few guests gives you anchors. Repeat names.

TRY THIS
Write them down.

TIP 18

Ask questions that invite stories

How do you know each other? gets good stories. Use it.

TRY THIS
Ask two people.

TIP 19

Smile and be open

Your friendly face does half the work. Keep it relaxed.

TRY THIS
Smile as you walk in.

TIP 20

Stay curious

Treat each guest as someone to learn from. Curiosity beats anxiety.

TRY THIS
Ask one why question.

TIP 21

Help the host

Offering to carry plates makes you useful and visible. It starts chats.

TRY THIS
Offer help.

TIP 22

Mingle in small groups

Join groups of three or four. They are easiest to enter.

TRY THIS
Try one.

TIP 23

Introduce guests to each other

Connecting two people makes you a connector. It is generous.

TRY THIS
Make one introduction.

TIP 24

Take breaks

A short walk outside resets your energy. Do it if needed.

TRY THIS
Step out for a minute.

TIP 25

Keep drinks moderate

Staying clear-headed helps you remember names and talk well. Pace yourself.

TRY THIS
Alternate with water.

TIP 26

Watch the clock

Know your exit time. Leaving on a high leaves a good memory.

TRY THIS
Set a time.

TIP 27

Say goodbye to the host

A thank-you is polite and memorable. Do it before leaving.

TRY THIS
Thank them.

TIP 28

Thank your friend

A message the next day shows gratitude. It strengthens friendship.

TRY THIS
Send thanks.

TIP 29

Follow up with a guest

A short note after the event keeps the thread. Send one.

TRY THIS
Message one guest.

TIP 30

Reflect on what you learned

Write what you enjoyed and what to try next time. Learning builds skill.

TRY THIS
Write two lines.

TIP 31

Invite your friend to your events

Return the favour. Mutual invitations build bonds.

TRY THIS
Plan one.

TIP 32

Keep a list of events

Note which gatherings suited you. It helps future choices.

TRY THIS
Start a list.

TIP 33

Celebrate your courage

Going to a party with strangers is brave. Say well done.

TRY THIS
Treat yourself.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

THANKS

“Thanks for letting me tag along.”

ASK

“How do you know the host?”

OFFER

“Can I help with anything?”

SHARE

“I am new to this group, so be kind.”

COMPLIMENT

“Your friends seem lovely.”

CLOSE

“It was great to meet you.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Accept one plus-one invitation

DAY 2
Ask your friend about the guests

DAY 3
Set one goal for the evening

DAY 4
Talk to two new people

DAY 5
Thank your friend

DAY 6
Follow up with one guest

DAY 7
Offer to bring your friend to something

Further reading

• Platonic (Marisa Franco)
• Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
• How to Talk to Anyone (Leil Lowndes)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.