Your Meeting-People Plan
Twelve steps to build your own plan for meeting people, one that fits your life and your pace.
A plan turns wishes into action. Make it small, clear and yours.
32 tips that really help
These ideas come from Platonic (Marisa Franco), Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), How to Talk to Anyone (Leil Lowndes), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Start with goals
Decide what you want, for example two new friends in six months. A clear goal gives your plan direction.
Write three goals.
Choose your places
Pick two weekly places and one monthly event where you can meet people. Repetition builds familiarity.
List your places.
Set your habits
One hello a day and one invitation a week is a realistic start. Small habits are easy to keep.
Write your two habits.
Put them in the calendar
What is scheduled gets done, so add your events now. A visible plan is a kept plan.
Add all events to your phone.
Prepare small tools
A few opening lines and questions calm your nerves. Keep them in a note.
Write three lines.
Plan for nerves
Decide what you will do if you feel anxious, such as breathe, get a drink or step outside. A plan lowers fear.
Write your calming steps.
Tell a friend
Sharing your plan creates gentle accountability. Ask them to check in with you.
Share your plan with one friend.
Track weekly
A short log shows what works and what you enjoy. Review it on Sundays.
Keep a simple note.
Review monthly
Adjust places and habits to fit what you learned. Flexibility keeps you moving.
Book a monthly review.
Celebrate milestones
Mark your first new friend, first invitation and first plan. Celebrations keep motivation high.
Plan a small celebration.
Script: telling friends your plan
Say I am working on meeting more people this year, any ideas? Friends often have helpful suggestions.
Say it to two friends.
Script: inviting someone to your event
I am going to a class on Thursday, would you like to come? It is easy to accept.
Invite one.
Script: saying yes to an invitation
Yes, I would love to come. Thank you for thinking of me. A quick yes feels warm.
Say yes next time.
Mistake: making the plan too big
A plan with ten goals fails. Choose three and do them well.
Cut your plan.
Mistake: never reviewing
Without review, you will not know what works. Check monthly.
Set a reminder.
If your plan is not working
Change one thing, such as the place or time. Experiment.
Change one.
If you lose motivation
Re-read your reasons and reduce the goal. Small steps keep you going.
Shrink it.
If you meet someone you like
Suggest a plan within a week. Momentum matters.
Plan.
Drill: a ninety-day plan
Write a plan for three months with monthly goals. It gives direction.
Write one.
Drill: a weekly rhythm
Plan three social slots a week. Repeating them builds habit.
Add three.
Drill: a monthly review
Spend ten minutes at month end. Note what to keep and what to drop.
Book it.
Choose three anchors
One weekly class, one monthly event and one daily hello. Anchors give structure.
Pick them.
Plan your first week
Make the first week easy so you get a win. Choose small tasks.
Write them.
Write your reasons
Why do you want friends? Reasons motivate. Keep them visible.
Write three.
Set a budget
Decide how much time and money you will spend. Realistic plans last.
Write it.
Prepare for nerves
Decide what you will do if you feel anxious. Having a plan helps.
Write it.
Create a go-to list of lines
Keep openers, questions and exit lines in a note. Calm nerves.
Make the list.
Pick a buddy
A friend can check in weekly. Support helps.
Ask one.
Celebrate milestones
Mark your first friend or first invitation. Joy fuels progress.
Plan a treat.
Invite others to plan together
A friend with the same goal can join. Share ideas.
Ask one.
Keep the plan visible
A note on the fridge reminds you. Put it where you see it.
Stick it up.
Keep going for a year
Friendship is a long game. Set a one-year check.
Add a date.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.
“My plan is one class, one event and one hello a day.”
“I am working on meeting more people.”
“Would you like to join me?”
“I kept my plan this week.”
“I will change one thing next month.”
“Thanks for being part of it.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Write your three goals
Pick your weekly places
Put them in your calendar
Choose one hello habit
Tell a friend your plan
Track your week
Review in a month
Further reading
- Platonic (Marisa Franco)
- Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
- How to Talk to Anyone (Leil Lowndes)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “How to Meet New People”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Celebrate Each Small Connection
- Everyone Is Hoping Someone Will Say Hello
- Why Making Friends Gets Harder After School
- Drop the "Nobody Likes Me" Story
- It Takes Fifty Hours, and That Is Okay
- You Do Not Need Many Friends, Just Good Ones
- Decide What Kind of Friends You Want
- Expect Awkward, Keep Going
- Choose Places Where You See the Same Faces
- Classes, Clubs and Courses That Work
- Make Your Neighbourhood Your Network
- Meet People Through Volunteering
- Use Your Workplace Without Pressure
- Find Friends in Your Faith or Community
- Make a Weekly Rhythm of Rooms
- Ask Friends to Introduce You
- Say Yes to Every Invitation for a Month
- Be a Plus-One With Purpose
- Turn One Friend Into Five
- Reconnect With Old Friends First
- Meet the Friends of Friends
- Go Where Your Friends Go
- The Café, the Gym and the Queue
- Turn Regulars Into Real Friends
- Dog Parks and Other Natural Meeting Places
- Say Hello Daily to Three People
- Make Friends Through Hobbies
- Walking Groups and Running Clubs
- Use Public Events to Meet Locals
- Moving to a New City: Your First Month Plan
- Meet People as a Newcomer
- Make Friends at University or College
- Make Friends After Retirement
- Make Friends as a New Parent
- Make Friends in Another Country
- The One-New-Person-a-Week Goal
- Track Your Social Attempts Kindly
- Say Yes More, Cancel Less
- Be Patient: Friendship Takes Repetition
- Celebrate Each Small Connection
- Your Meeting-People Plan
