Expect Awkward, Keep Going
Twelve ways to expect awkward moments, laugh about them and keep going.
Awkward is part of the process. Everyone has awkward moments, and most people forget yours quickly.
27 tips that really help
These ideas come from Platonic (Marisa Franco), Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), How to Talk to Anyone (Leil Lowndes), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Awkward is normal
Even confident people stumble in small talk. It is part of meeting people.
Remind yourself you are not the only one.
Spotlight effect
You notice your awkward moments far more than others do. Most people forget them within minutes.
Ask yourself if you remember anyone else’s awkward line.
Have a recovery line
Phrases like that came out wrong or let me start again work well. They show humour.
Choose one recovery line to use.
Laugh gently at yourself
Light humour about a mistake makes you human and likeable.
Smile when you make a small slip.
Do not over-explain
A short apology or laugh is enough. Long explanations make it bigger.
Say oops and move on.
Use silence calmly
A pause is normal. Take a breath and ask a new question.
Count to three, then ask something simple.
Practise in safe places
Try small talk with cashiers or neighbours. Mistakes cost little.
Chat with one stranger in a safe setting.
Reflect kindly
After an event, write what went well first. Then note one thing to try.
Write two good moments from your last event.
Keep going
Persistence turns awkward into easy. Each try helps.
Plan your next social outing now.
Celebrate awkward wins
Even stumbling through a hello is brave. Cheer it.
Give yourself credit for trying.
Know your awkward moments
Write down your most common awkward moments, such as silence or forgetting names. Knowing them helps you prepare.
List three.
Prepare recovery lines
Phrases like that came out wrong or let me start again help. Choose two.
Write two lines.
Smile when it happens
A smile after a slip tells people it is fine. It builds warmth.
Practise a smile.
Take a breath
One slow breath settles you after an awkward moment. Do it quietly.
Breathe in for four.
Shift the focus
Ask a question to turn attention away from yourself. It resets the chat.
Prepare a question.
Share a story of a past slip
Telling a funny story about a past slip shows humility. People love it.
Prepare one story.
Remember others forget
Most people forget your slips in minutes. Trust that.
Ask a friend what they remember.
Expect awkwardness with new people
The first minutes are awkward for all. Accept it.
Wait five minutes before judging.
Use humour gently
A gentle joke at yourself eases tension. Keep it kind.
Try a light comment.
Notice what helps
Which recovery works best for you? Repeat.
Write one.
Learn from friends
Ask a friend how they handle awkward moments. Borrow ideas.
Ask one.
Practise in safe places
Try small talk in low-stakes settings. Build tolerance.
Chat with a barista.
Avoid perfectionism
Perfect conversations do not exist. Aim for friendly.
Say good enough.
Notice improvement
Compare this month with last month. See growth.
Write one change.
Reward bravery
Treat yourself after tough social moments. Reward effort.
Pick a treat.
Be kind to others’ awkwardness
Help others feel at ease. Smile warmly.
Do it today.
Write a lesson
One line about what you learned. It grows you.
Write it tonight.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.
“Well, that was a bit awkward, wasn’t it?”
“Let me try that again.”
“I always get nervous at the start.”
“Do you ever feel nervous in new groups?”
“Anyway, tell me more about you.”
“I am still learning how to do this.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Write an awkward moment you remember
Note how others reacted
Laugh about one moment
Try again after a bad try
Share a funny story with a friend
Use a recovery line
Review your progress
Further reading
- Platonic (Marisa Franco)
- Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
- How to Talk to Anyone (Leil Lowndes)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “How to Meet New People”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Decide What Kind of Friends You WantNext: Choose Places Where You See the Same Faces →
- Everyone Is Hoping Someone Will Say Hello
- Why Making Friends Gets Harder After School
- Drop the "Nobody Likes Me" Story
- It Takes Fifty Hours, and That Is Okay
- You Do Not Need Many Friends, Just Good Ones
- Decide What Kind of Friends You Want
- Expect Awkward, Keep Going
- Choose Places Where You See the Same Faces
- Classes, Clubs and Courses That Work
- Make Your Neighbourhood Your Network
- Meet People Through Volunteering
- Use Your Workplace Without Pressure
- Find Friends in Your Faith or Community
- Make a Weekly Rhythm of Rooms
- Ask Friends to Introduce You
- Say Yes to Every Invitation for a Month
- Be a Plus-One With Purpose
- Turn One Friend Into Five
- Reconnect With Old Friends First
- Meet the Friends of Friends
- Go Where Your Friends Go
- The Café, the Gym and the Queue
- Turn Regulars Into Real Friends
- Dog Parks and Other Natural Meeting Places
- Say Hello Daily to Three People
- Make Friends Through Hobbies
- Walking Groups and Running Clubs
- Use Public Events to Meet Locals
- Moving to a New City: Your First Month Plan
- Meet People as a Newcomer
- Make Friends at University or College
- Make Friends After Retirement
- Make Friends as a New Parent
- Make Friends in Another Country
- The One-New-Person-a-Week Goal
- Track Your Social Attempts Kindly
- Say Yes More, Cancel Less
- Be Patient: Friendship Takes Repetition
- Celebrate Each Small Connection
- Your Meeting-People Plan
