LESSON 16 · HOW TO MEET NEW PEOPLE

Say Yes to Every Invitation for a Month

Twelve ways to say yes to every invitation for a month, and see what happens.

Opportunities appear when you say yes. A one-month experiment is a fair test.

32 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

32 tips that really help

These ideas come from Platonic (Marisa Franco), Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), How to Talk to Anyone (Leil Lowndes), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

Photo for the tip: Why a yes month works
TIP 1

Why a yes month works

Saying yes increases your chances to meet people. Even small events can lead to friends.

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Decide to try a one-month yes experiment.
Photo for the tip: Set safe rules
TIP 2

Set safe rules

Say yes to safe, reasonable invitations. Keep your health and safety first.

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Write your yes rules.
Photo for the tip: Tell your friends
TIP 3

Tell your friends

Let people know you are open to invitations. They will think of you.

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Message three friends today.
Photo for the tip: Accept quickly
TIP 4

Accept quickly

A fast yes feels warm and keeps plans from slipping.

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Reply within a day.
Photo for the tip: Agree a time limit
TIP 5

Agree a time limit

You can say I can stay for an hour. It makes yes easier.

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Plan your exit time beforehand.
Photo for the tip: Bring something small
TIP 6

Bring something small

Flowers, snacks or a game give you something to do and show care.

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Choose a small gift to bring.
Photo for the tip: Talk to one new person
TIP 7

Talk to one new person

At each event, aim for one new chat only.

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Set a goal of one new name.
Photo for the tip: Follow up
TIP 8

Follow up

Message someone you met and suggest a plan.

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Send a message within two days.
Photo for the tip: Rest when needed
TIP 9

Rest when needed

A yes month does not mean no breaks. Keep a quiet evening each week.

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Schedule one night in.
Photo for the tip: Review the month
TIP 10

Review the month

See who you met and what you enjoyed. Keep the best habits.

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Write three insights at the end.
Photo for the tip: Put the rules in writing
TIP 11

Put the rules in writing

Write your yes rules, such as I will say yes to safe, reasonable invitations for a month. Clear rules reduce second-guessing.

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Write your rules.
Photo for the tip: Tell your friends about the experiment
TIP 12

Tell your friends about the experiment

Friends will invite you more if they know you are saying yes. Explain it with a smile.

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Message three friends.
Photo for the tip: Use a yes diary
TIP 13

Use a yes diary

Keep a list of invitations and how each went. It shows the benefits.

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Start the diary.
Photo for the tip: Say yes to different kinds of events
TIP 14

Say yes to different kinds of events

Mix social, cultural and community events. Variety widens your circle.

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Accept one of each type.
Photo for the tip: Go with curiosity
TIP 15

Go with curiosity

Treat each event as a learning experience. Expect to learn something.

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Write one question to explore.
Photo for the tip: Choose a buddy
TIP 16

Choose a buddy

A friend can come along to unfamiliar events. Buddies make yes easier.

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Invite one.
Photo for the tip: Say yes to the stretch
TIP 17

Say yes to the stretch

Pick one invitation that makes you slightly nervous. Courage grows.

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Choose it.
Photo for the tip: Prepare for each event
TIP 18

Prepare for each event

Check the address and plan the journey. Preparation reduces stress.

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Plan the route.
Photo for the tip: Dress comfortably
TIP 19

Dress comfortably

Wear something that makes you feel good. Comfort helps confidence.

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Choose an outfit.
Photo for the tip: Aim to meet two people
TIP 20

Aim to meet two people

A small goal keeps you focused. Two new names is enough.

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Set the goal.
Photo for the tip: Practise your openers
TIP 21

Practise your openers

Have two ready openers and one exit line. They calm nerves.

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Rehearse.
Photo for the tip: Take breaks
TIP 22

Take breaks

Step outside for air if you need. Short breaks help.

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Plan one.
Photo for the tip: Leave on time
TIP 23

Leave on time

Know your exit time. Stick to it to avoid burnout.

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Set an alarm.
Photo for the tip: Thank the host
TIP 24

Thank the host

A quick message is a kindness. It strengthens ties.

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Send thanks.
Photo for the tip: Reflect after each
TIP 25

Reflect after each

Write what went well. It reinforces the habit.

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Write two lines.
Photo for the tip: Notice patterns
TIP 26

Notice patterns

Which events gave you energy? Do more of those.

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Mark the best ones.
Photo for the tip: Say no kindly when needed
TIP 27

Say no kindly when needed

If something is unsafe or too much, decline politely. Rules still apply.

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Prepare a polite no.
Photo for the tip: Track new contacts
TIP 28

Track new contacts

Write names and where you met. It helps follow-up.

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Start a list.
Photo for the tip: Follow up with invitations of your own
TIP 29

Follow up with invitations of your own

Invite someone you met. Reciprocity grows friendships.

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Invite one.
Photo for the tip: Share the story
TIP 30

Share the story

Tell friends about your yes month. It may inspire them.

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Share.
Photo for the tip: Celebrate the month
TIP 31

Celebrate the month

At the end, mark your courage with a treat. Enjoy it.

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Plan one.
Photo for the tip: Decide what to keep
TIP 32

Decide what to keep

After a month, keep the habits that worked. Build a lasting routine.

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Write three habits.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

YES

“Yes, I would love to come.”

PLAN

“What time should I arrive?”

OFFER

“Can I bring something?”

EXIT

“I can only stay for an hour.”

THANKS

“Thank you for inviting me.”

FOLLOW

“I had a great time, shall we do it again?”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Decide on your yes month
DAY 2
Tell a friend about it
DAY 3
Say yes to the next invitation
DAY 4
Go and stay for one hour
DAY 5
Talk to one new person
DAY 6
Thank the host the next day
DAY 7
Review the week

Further reading

  • Platonic (Marisa Franco)
  • Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
  • How to Talk to Anyone (Leil Lowndes)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.

More lessons in “How to Meet New People”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

← Previous: Ask Friends to Introduce YouNext: Be a Plus-One With Purpose →

  1. Everyone Is Hoping Someone Will Say Hello
  2. Why Making Friends Gets Harder After School
  3. Drop the "Nobody Likes Me" Story
  4. It Takes Fifty Hours, and That Is Okay
  5. You Do Not Need Many Friends, Just Good Ones
  6. Decide What Kind of Friends You Want
  7. Expect Awkward, Keep Going
  8. Choose Places Where You See the Same Faces
  9. Classes, Clubs and Courses That Work
  10. Make Your Neighbourhood Your Network
  11. Meet People Through Volunteering
  12. Use Your Workplace Without Pressure
  13. Find Friends in Your Faith or Community
  14. Make a Weekly Rhythm of Rooms
  15. Ask Friends to Introduce You
  16. Say Yes to Every Invitation for a Month
  17. Be a Plus-One With Purpose
  18. Turn One Friend Into Five
  19. Reconnect With Old Friends First
  20. Meet the Friends of Friends
  21. Go Where Your Friends Go
  22. The Café, the Gym and the Queue
  23. Turn Regulars Into Real Friends
  24. Dog Parks and Other Natural Meeting Places
  25. Say Hello Daily to Three People
  26. Make Friends Through Hobbies
  27. Walking Groups and Running Clubs
  28. Use Public Events to Meet Locals
  29. Moving to a New City: Your First Month Plan
  30. Meet People as a Newcomer
  31. Make Friends at University or College
  32. Make Friends After Retirement
  33. Make Friends as a New Parent
  34. Make Friends in Another Country
  35. The One-New-Person-a-Week Goal
  36. Track Your Social Attempts Kindly
  37. Say Yes More, Cancel Less
  38. Be Patient: Friendship Takes Repetition
  39. Celebrate Each Small Connection
  40. Your Meeting-People Plan
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